One Crazy Mama

4 years later

2011-11-21T14:26:00.003-07:00

Chloe and Jeff

I can't believe it has been 4 years since my Uncle, Jeff Herrud passed away. Last year on the anniversary of his death, I went almost the whole day without even thinking about it. When I realized what day it was, I was pleased that maybe I had been able move on. Fast forward to one year later. Today. I woke up feeling on edge. Sad and ready to cry. Then I remembered what day it was. I got up and got going thinking, "If I get my day started and keep busy I will be O.K." Yeah right. I got in the shower and completely had a break down. I miss him so much. I want him back. I got out of the shower and started to get ready. Turned on the news to hopefully get my mind off of it. And it didn't work. Great! I had only been up a half an hour and I have already cried hard twice! This is gonna be a fun day. Especially for someone who isn't much of a crier. It took me longer than usual but I finally made it to work. And THANK YOU to the wonderful students and coworkers who kept me busy and kept me smiling. I was able to get out of the funk.

I believe that when someone passes away so quickly and unexpectedly it makes it harder. His death was so sudden. And the day before Thanksgiving nonetheless. I had to dig deep that holiday, and remind myself of how thankful I truly was. He was a good friend to me, and it hurts that he is gone. When my Mom told me I kept thinking, "No, she is wrong!" My Grandfather was dying, surely she meant him. But she wasn't. I think I will take my kids to the Jubilee of Trees here in Cedar tonight. I am really beginning to dislike the holidays. My Grandpas both died shortly before Christmas and my Grandma and Uncle right before Thanksgiving. I need to work harder at making it a happy time for me. Ok, enough whining. :)

Way too fast

2011-11-06T22:17:00.004-07:00

My friend Stephanie, recently posted about her 1 year old daughter. It brought a smile to my face, because it is her first. I remember how meticulous I was with Dylan. How the magic of it all just blew me away. Not that I didn't enjoy it with my other two just as much, but by then I was used to it. I envy her in some ways. That is such a fun time in my life. Do I wanna go back? uh..no. But now I look at my oldest son who is now 10 and realize how time has flown. He is in fifth grade now. He is learning things from his peers, usually weird things, but boy things. His head reaches my nose. He isn't a little boy! I just picture that sweet little boy who lit up my world with everything. Now he is horrified if I show up at his school. I recently went to join Chloe for lunch at her school. When I asked Dylan if he wanted me to eat with him I got an emphatic, "NO MOM!" and a 'how dare you even ask that question' look. It didn't make me feel bad, or sad. It made me chuckle. Because it made me glad that he is his own person. He has his social group and is thriving. Remember last year when he was having anxiety and barely making it? Well now he is getting straight A's, and is enjoying school. He has a wonderful teacher who supports him and makes him feel special. It makes all the difference. I will forever be grateful to Mrs. Mackleprang. She has quickly turned him around with her enthusiasm and encouragement. I just remember how a year ago, I was so worried about him. Now I only worry a normal Mommy worry. Chloe is growing up too, as a big 7 year old. In second grade. She has a thirst for knowledge and an enthusiasm that carries over to home. She teaches her now 4 year old brother Colton everything she can. That is her baby. Watching them grow and become their own person is the most wonderful thing. I do sometimes miss having a tiny baby around. But I am enjoying this phase a lot too, and am always wondering what will happen next.

My job is going well. I love what I do. I love making a difference in someones life. That is so important to me. I want to make peoples lives better. I have felt so 'unimportant' and 'insignificant' in the world. I love making people smile. I try to make sure that if they don't smile the rest of the day, they got at least one from me. I got into the mindset of, "I am just a Mom." I knew that was important, but it didn't feel that way. My coworkers are great. The students are great and it is an amazing job to have. I do suffer from the guilt of not being here all day. It is hard to do the same thing for 11 years and then change it so suddenly. I feel bad that I send my kid to a babysitter. Even tho it is only for a few hours and he has so much fun that he can't wait to go back. I worry about not being here if one of the other two need me. Even tho they are at school while I am gone. It is an inner struggle with myself. The positives very much so, outweigh the bad. Sometimes I think I should have had a career before starting a family. But I wouldn't have what I have now. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

New Job

2011-09-05T18:30:00.003-06:00

I now have 2 weeks under my belt at the new job. I have to say I enjoy it. I am still shocked at how easy it was to get hired, and how badly they wanted me there. These facts make me want to work even harder to make them glad that they hired me and not regret their decision. I saw a waiting room full of people hoping to get this job and only I and one other person got it. I feel a bit guilty about it because there are so many people out there looking for work, and this just fell in my lap. This job is so good for me for so many reasons. 1. It helps me earn a little extra money that we can definitely use right now. 2. It makes me happy to actually be using my degree that has been sitting idle for 11 years. 3. I get out of the house for a few hours a day. Something that helps with my depression and dumb issues. It makes me a happier person. 4. Colton gets to play with his friend for a few hours which is great since his older siblings are now in school. 5. It will look great on a resume. 6. Since it is within the Iron County School District system, I have the same days off as my other kids, so I won't have to worry about what to do with them when they are out of school.

This list could keep going but I will stop there. I should explain what this job is exactly. I work at what is called a POST High School. It is an extension of HS for special ed students, after they are done at their regular HS. They can attend the POST high up until they turn 22 when they age out. What I and my coworkers do is help them develop real world skills so that they can be a bit more functional in society. Dealing with money, work environments, basic math and reading, and how to properly conduct themselves in public. Due to privacy issues I can't be too specific about the students. But I can say that they are a challenge that I love and they make me laugh every day. My only gripe is having to get up early. Not only do I have to get myself ready I have to get 3 kids ready too. Needless to say it is a bit wild here in the mornings. I am happy that it has me on a more steady schedule and I am happy to say that I lost 5 pounds during the month of August. YAY!! So there you have it. I am still crazy, but a happier, working Mom crazy. :o)

Why you should get a degree

2011-08-18T12:21:00.002-06:00

Any degree. Whatever interests you. As long as it is a legitimate degree it serves you well. I have just realized that. I have been a SAHM now for 10 years. It has been a fun ride, hard and aggravating, yet the best thing I have ever done. Yet, I have this thing inside me that wants to go to work. I have been trying to see if I can help my Mom find a job and in the meantime I have seen a few positions that interested me. I do the, "What the heck, it won't hurt to try!" My thing is, I am a bit picky. It has to be pretty easy to work around my kids' schedule. Because they are my priority. I just figured if I was patient, the right thing will come along. Well it finally happened. In order to be the easiest with my kids' schedule, I knew it would be best to work within the school district. I saw a few positions available at various schools, and 5 minutes before the deadline for the application was due, I turned it in. The following morning, yesterday, I got a call to come in for an interview in the early afternoon. Wow that was quick! I went in and interviewed for the position of "Paraprofessional for students with special needs" position. A part time position, another thing I wanted, working with older high school students with special needs. I had tried for the High School closest to me. They told me if I was selected, they would call that evening, if not then thank you for coming in. I didn't hear anything last night. So I figured it was not meant to be. Oh well, woulda been kind of perfect but oh well. This morning I got up and got my kids ready for the first day of school YAY! Doted on Chloe since it is her 7th birthday, and drove them to school. I went to the gym and worked out, and then went to the store. On the way I called my Mom and she said she hadn't been able to reach me on my phone. It was weird. Oh well, it is fixed now. I chatted with my Mom for a minute and then finished my shopping. My phone then rang. I answered it, and the lady on the other line said, "Jamie! I have been trying to call you since last night!" (seriously? what is wrong with this phone?!?!) It was one of the ladies from the interview. I got the position!! It wasn't at the school I had gone for, but the other one in town, and she was impressed. So tomorrow morning I start working. I have been busy getting everything together and arrangements made. My friend will watch Colton and the other two will just ride the bus to school. I am excited. Not really nervous, but happy that I can contribute to our family more.

Now why did I mention the whole degree thing? Because I couldn't even have applied if I didn't have one. That is becoming the norm. My degree isn't in education. Yes my minor was child development, but my major was Sociology. Proof that it doesn't really matter as long as you have one. I stopped into my step daughters dorm, she is moving here today, and shared with her and her cousin/roomie that, "See? An education does pay off!"

12 week challenge

2011-07-21T15:59:00.013-06:00

Recently, I decided to take part in an online weight loss challenge. I figured since I was trying to get my hiney in shape it would be cool to win a prize in the mean time. Well today is the last day of the challenge. I don't know if I won or lost, I will know next week. Win or lose, I will be glad that I have indeed lost a little more. I have been working more on strength training than weight loss. I just don't have the love for Zumba and elliptical machines that so many others have. I had to post pictures up from the beginning, middle and today. I am going to share them here.....still this is kind of humiliating. But it will keep me honest and motivated!

Beginning: Yes, they are the pics from before. I was the same size.

Middle Week:

Final Week: TODAY!

I know, you can't see a real difference. Neither can I. But, let me give you the final official numbers. In 12 weeks I have lost 16 pounds and all over 16.5 inches. So I am pleased. Still not swimsuit ready. But I am getting there!
Oh and if you haven't noticed, I am now in fact, a brunette. I decided the days of bleach blond are over. I am loving this evolvement. I guess I am going for an all over change!

Vacation Day #1 And I am OFF!!!

2011-04-04T22:25:00.000-06:00

So to start out the "Vacation" blog I decided to do a day by day. So much happened! Also if you want to see the rest of my pics from this trip you will have to check my facebook page.

My vacation started on March 21st in the afternoon. After Tom got home. I must admit I felt a little sad and a whole lot guilty leaving them all behind. But I needed this. I drove to my parents house to trade vehicles and to tell them goodbye. Things didn't start out so smooth as that night, my Mom had lost her job. She has worked in this same position for 28 years, and they let her go over a ridiculous mistake. But that is a whole story in itself. I finally made it to my Aunt's house and hunkered down for the night. I decided I really wanted to sleep on the plane so I stayed up all night, and I had to leave at about 4 a.m. since my flight was scheduled to leave at 6. My cousin drove me to the airport at the wonderful time and I was off. I flew to Chicago, where it was cold and wet, and then I was off to Philly. I got to Philly, got shuttled to my hotel and then met up with friends that night. I had a few beers, unfortunately I am used to Utah's watered down version so I quickly became "fun". The conversations at the small hotel bar were fun. One gal there said, "I was in Montana once and they have these metal bars in the road to keep cows in!" I said, "Cattle guards?" LOL. I was loving the contrast of our lives there. I hung out and had a good time. But I was also exhausted. I had slept a little but not a lot on the plane and throw a couple of beers in there and I was about to drop! I went to my hotel room and immediately fell asleep. It was about 10 local time, which is 8 here in Utah.

Day #2 Jersey!

2011-04-04T22:24:00.000-06:00

I slept good and hard that night. I woke up when my brother texted me asking me when I wanted him to come get me. So I called him, gave him the addy and got ready. I hadn't seen the butthead in 2 years, so I was excited. I met him in the hotel lobby and he gave me the biggest bear hug. We went back to my room and got my bags and then we headed off. I was so hungry cause I had skipped dinner so he drove me into New Jersey and we went to a little cafe for breakfast. My first impressions of the Northeast? Very crowded. It is like people live on top of each other. I am just so used to spacious living I would imagine. There are a lot of trees and one thing people out west don't really understand is rivers. I remember when I was in the Southeast and I thought the same thing. The rivers are huge out there! Everywhere has its good points and bad. Bryce had to do some training since he is being deployed in May. So I sat at his apartment and watched TV and got some rest. He came back and we went to a steakhouse for supper. We then returned to his place and rested up cause the next day we were heading to DC.

Day #3 Washington, DC

2011-04-04T22:23:00.000-06:00

We got up and went to the local Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast. Sad to say, that is the first time I ever experienced a DD. Then we went to a storage unit place since Bryce was going to be giving up his apartment and needed a place to put his stuff while he was deployed for 6 months. Afterward, we headed south. Since this was all so very new to me, I stayed glued to the window. Looking at everything. I got my first time in Delaware, and that is another thing. The bridges out there are stunning! Delaware was, interesting. Also a very short drive before we were in Maryland. I got to see Baltimore. Bryce had gotten us a hotel room in a town called Laurel. We got to the hotel and got our stuff in and asked the front desk how the best way to do DC was. This was the one place that he hadn't ever been to. Kinda neat to be a tourist with him! She gave us maps and directions to the nearest Metro station. We got there and got our day passes for the Metro and we were on the subway. We chose the L'Enfant stop. Well, Bryce did. I didn't even attempt to know what I was doing. We ended up in the middle of somewhere lol. After about 5 minutes of doing the, "Where the hell are we?" we figured it out. My first impression of DC was that it was very beautiful. We made our way to the "Mall" area, and decided to head towards the Capitol first. While walking the museums had caught our eye. The first one in particular got Bryce's. The Air and Space Museum. Upon a closer look we realized it was part of the Smithsonian! OMG! I got so excited! Why do you ask? Because that is a "bucket list" item for me. Ever since I knew there was a Smithsonian I wanted to go and swore that one day I would. Tho, this wasn't necessarily my cup o tea I have to admit that it was really cool. I saw the Wright Brothers plane that they used, the Spirit of St. Louis, and of course a ton of memorabilia from the space missions. Afterward we made our way to the US Capitol which was nice and then we went back towards where the Whitehouse was. Along the way my brother needed to duck in to one of the buildings and we realized we were at the US History Smithsonian. AWESOME! This was the one I wanted to go to. I was so impressed, getting to see Washington's uniform, tons of artifacts from our history, Dorothy's ruby red slippers, the counter from the "sit-ins". I coulda spent all day there. But we only had so much time. We left after a few hours and walked along to the White House. Another must see item. Of course I am only skimming through everything we saw, but you should get the idea. After that we were pretty tired from walking what we calculated as almost 4 miles, not including the massive museums we ran through! We found the closest station and made our way back to the truck and found a place for dinner. Got back to the hotel and settled in. Bryce zonked practically immediately after we got there and I had a bath and was soon out. A very busy day.

Day #4 - Solemn

2011-04-04T22:22:00.000-06:00

We got up pretty slowly today. LOL. I think our muscles weren't impressed with us. All I can say is I am glad that I work out. There is no way I coulda done all the walking and climbing and standing I did the day before and then get up and do a practical repeat! We weren't sure exactly what we would be doing. I really wanted to go to the Holocaust Museum and Bryce wanted to hit the war Memorials. Other than that we didn't know. We decided to go to Arlington. I do have a love for cemeteries, and this is probably the most well known in the nation. We got on the train and made our way to Virgina. (another state to knock off my list!). We purchased a tour bus ticket. And the first stop was the Kennedy's grave. It was really a neat place. Not only did we see JFK's and Jackie O's along with their two kids buried there, but we also saw Bobby Kennedy and Ted Kennedy's too! After a couple of photos we hopped back on the bus and the next stop was the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. We got there in the middle of the changing of the guard and couldn't really see much through the crowd already there. Bryce really wanted to see it so we waited front and center for the next go around. Didn't really mind tho, watching the soldier walk back and forth and observing the tomb itself wasn't too boring funny enough. We watched the changing of the guard and some laying of wreaths. I am amazed at the precision and perfection. Very neat. We got on the next bus and headed to the Arlington House. I had heard about its beginnings before but never really paid attention to the story, so it was like I was hearing it for the first time. We walked through the house that had no furniture since it was undergoing a renovation. Saw the slaves quarters and then we hopped on the bus again. Of course I can't speak about a trip to Arlington without talking about the moment that you see those infamous white headstones. It seems as if they go on forever. It is so beautiful, and then you think, "Every single one of those represents a soldier who is gone."

After Arlington we headed back to DC and walked over to the Holocaust museum. There were no tickets left for the day, but thankfully since my bro was military, we got right in. That is also a very sobering experience. Seeing actual items from the Holocaust and its victims. All the propaganda, torture, murder and cruelty. It is so sad, yet intensely interesting. We didn't know how huge that museum is. There is so much information and items to go through. I made a mental note that next time I would plan on being there all day. We probably were able to actually read maybe a third of the information available. We would have been longer but wanted to see the war memorials too. So we left and walked over to the Washington monument. We walked up next to it, and boy is that thing tall! after that we headed to the WWII Monument, which was also quite big. We were hoping to see the reflecting pool but all we saw was the bottom of it. It is being "renovated" LOL. We went to the Korean War monument, the Lincoln and then finally the Vietnam Memorial and wall. That one got us both quiet. Needless to say we were very tired and sore. So we headed back home. I totally fell in love with Washington DC.

Day #5 - NYC

2011-04-04T22:21:00.000-06:00

A smart person would have taken the day off. But there was so much I wanted to see and I didn't have time to be smart about it. So this day..Saturday.. we headed to NYC. Driving into town we saw the Statue of Liberty and then Bryce drove me by Ground Zero. I knew it was cold out, so I didn't really care to get out and walk. But he insisted. So we stopped and walked about two blocks to where the site where the WTC once stood. It was odd that my first thoughts when I got right up next to the site was flashbacks of where I was and what I was doing that very moment on September 11, 2001. I thought about the terror those people felt it was so sad. We then ducked into a pizza place for my first taste of authentic New York pizza and it was yummy. We then walked back to the car and my brother took me on one hell of a ride. He drove me by Radio City Music Hall, The Empire State Building, Central Park, Madison Square Garden, and then finally he stopped and parked and we were at Time Square. It was very busy, and exciting to see. We got our pic taken on those red stairs they had set up. We got back in the truck and I had enough of NYC so we took the Holland Tunnel and went home. I know I only spent about 3 hours there and it was neat to see, but I wasn't all that impressed. SORRY! I think you get it in your head that it is just the same as you would see on TV. And to an extent it is. But I just thought it was too crowded, noisy, FREEZING, and somewhat dirty and it didn't smell too good. At the same time I am glad I got to see it. And maybe I will plan a trip during the summer season in the future.

Day #6 Lazy Day

2011-04-04T22:20:00.000-06:00

We were thinking about going to the shore today but decided with gas prices the way they are and we were kinda tired anyway, it would be cool just to skip it and stay home. We watched TV and then Bryce decided he couldn't stand it any longer and just HAD to do something. So we went and saw the movie, The Adjustment Bureau. It was really pretty good. I enjoyed it. Then we went and had dinner at the Iron Skillet where Bryce decided he had to show the waitress that he could in fact eat a double chicken fried steak meal. HAHA. He felt that later.

*btw, I know the pic I posted had nothing to do with the day, but I wanted to post a pic and couldn't find one that I took that day, so you got another shot of Arlington, I mean, it is cool right?

Day #7 Philly

2011-04-04T22:19:00.000-06:00

My last day in the North East. We headed to Philly so I could tour the sites. He took me to Joe's where I got my first genuine Philly Cheese steak. Oh wow, it was so good! Then it was time to be a tourist again. First off we were at the Liberty Bell, then we saw where the original house where George Washington and for a time, John Adams lived while president. We then realized we had a few hours til our tickets would let us see Independence Hall and my brother just had to have his coffee fix. We found the closest Starbucks at a Mall Downtown. I had seen a sign pointing the way to Ben Franklin's grave and..ooh! A Graveyard!! Bryce trudged along with me and we went into this old cemetery and saw his grave. Between that and all the other really old plots, I was in heaven!!! We then headed over to the Constitution center and saw some of the exhibits and the 'show' and then went back to Independence Hall to take the tour. If you could get past the intense lecture that our guide felt inclined to do, it was really awesome to see the place where they signed the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. We then returned to the Constitution Center and I looked at the exhibits, took the oath of the President of the United States and then we saw the special exhibit they had on of "Spies, Traitors and Saboteurs." We then got back in the truck and Bryce drove me past the infamous Art Museum where Rocky ran up the stairs. I love pop culture.

Day #8 Home Sweet Home

2011-04-04T22:18:00.003-06:00

Last day, well not really, this was the day I headed home. I was sad that my trip was over, but excited to get home to my hubby and kids. Bryce was coming with me so that was an added bonus. We got a ride on the Rapid Rover back to Philly and boarded the flight. When I saw Las Vegas in the distance I just about jumped for joy while on the plane. I was so glad to be home. I know Las Vegas isn't home, but it is close to my home and I know where I am and there is a certain familiarity there. My cousin picked us up from the airport and we went to my Aunt's house so my Grandma and everyone could see Bryce. We had dinner at a Buffet, something Bryce was just dying for, and then came home. When I finally made it to Cedar, I couldn't help but sneak into Dylan's room and give him a kiss and tell him "Mom is home." He was so happy he had tears in his eyes. I know he was having a hard time the last couple of days I was gone, so that was why I just had to go in there and give him a love.

So there you have it. My trip. I had so much fun, I can't believe all I did. I am hoping to someday soon take Tom there. I am sure he would enjoy it as much as I did.

uh huh

2011-03-16T13:50:00.011-06:00

K, I am not quite where I wanna be physically. But I want to document this journey so I can look back and laugh. I took some before pictures when I started this. The following will show you what months of hard work look like. I am not at a place mentally where I feel ready to post full shots of me in nothing but a bikini. But I did manage to get a bikini top on. But FIRST here are the dreaded pics of me in June 2009. This is what 1 year and a half of depression, over eating, not being physical and letting yourself go after having a baby look like. From the front and from the side. This is so GROSS! I am cringing at the thought that I am actually putting these out there for you all to see. But that was when I hit over 210 pounds. Today I am about 180. But before you wonder what happened, let me remind you that I am working out for at least an hour 4-5 days a week a lot of which is strength training. AND my diet is limited to 1400-1500 calories a day, when you eat that little you make what you eat count! So say hello to protein, fresh veggies, fresh fruits and whole grains. Muscle weighs more than fat and I am losing inches. I have lost one inch around my stomach in the past week. So here is me today. I am not a skinny minnie but you can tell that I have been working hard. You can see most of it in my face. This is extremely uncomfortable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Self Induced Torture

2011-03-12T09:12:00.002-07:00

Ok, well the holidays came and are long gone. They were nice and simple and perfect. :) With the coming of the new year came the realization that I hadn't lost the last twenty. I still wasn't in the mental mode to do it so I put it off. Then one morning came the AHA! moment. I got on my scale and 10 of the pounds I had lost had magically reappeared! This was in February. After the dreaded 34th birthday. I decided it was time to kick it in gear and get this butt of mine in shape. I got online and saw that Gold's Gym was having a free 7 day trial period. I thought, "What the heck" I wasn't about to commit to a one or two year contract but 7 days might help. I filled out the online form and within 5 minutes they called me from the Gym in Cedar. Wowzers! They asked if I could come down the next day so I hauled Colton and myself down there in the morning. We discussed my options, goals, etc and then I found out that they had a new non commitment program where you pay month to month and you can leave at any time. It cost $1 to join and it was $29 a month after that. It would be $21 but you see I have these little rugrats that will need to use the childcare. I decided to sign up. Part of it was a free session with a Personal Trainer. So within the week I met with this guy. I am highly motivated and really want to know what I need to do. Well he kicked my butt. Oh...Wow. An ex-military fella. I hated every second of it, but loved it too. I asked about maybe a few more sessions to get me on the right track. He was really the head "trainer" so he assigned me to a guy, "Luigi" and got me a deal. I have met with Mr. Luigi two out of my 3 times. Nothing like a muscle clad 23 year old to push me beyond my limits. I have been feeling the burn. However I panicked when I saw I was GAINING weight. Despite the fact that I was on a strict 1400 calorie diet and exercising all the time. The trainers said that it was a good thing, I should be happy cause it is muscle. Oh alright!!! Still, kind of a shocker. I have also been instructed to stay away from the scale. No problemo!!! I have done a couple of classes, there is one instructor who is a beast. You walk out of there exhausted, dripping with sweat and you swear you are going to go straight to the hospital after leaving that class. I also tried Zumba. Everyone I know swears by it. I thought it was fun, but it just doesn't seem like my cup o tea. I will try it again. Colton LOVES going to the gym cause his "friends" are there and he can play with toys. Every now and then the other two join him in there. But I like to go in the morning because it isn't such a meat market then. Oh and a bonus....FREE TANNING! You bet!

My other motivation besides the impeding summer season, is that I am going on Vacation! YAY! My brother has been in New Jersey for around 8 years. I have not been there yet. PATHETIC! So I decided it was long over due that I pay the Butthead a visit. I will be flying from Vegas to Philly, one stop in Chicago, on March 22. I am so excited! That is less than two weeks away. I will be meeting up with some friends in the Philly area that night and then my bro is going to come pick me up. He is supposed to be getting leave while I am there so we can go all over. He plans to take me to the Philadelphia historical sites, NYC, Atlantic City and then we are also hoping to make it to Washington DC. The one place he hasn't been. There is so much that I want to do like go to the little New England towns, particularly ones with major historical significance. Doubt we will get all of it done, but spending time being idiots with my bro, more than makes up for that! I will be going alone. It will be so much fun just us being "tourists" and spending time together. I haven't seen him in 2 years! Then I come back on the 29th. Which I should be sad, but, my brother is flying back with me. YAY! He got a ticket on the same flight as me. He is getting a bunch of leave because in May he is going over seas.

Yea Yea

2010-11-17T16:01:00.002-07:00

Things are going well in the Parry household. I had one "episode" so to speak. It was weird. I have been feeling well and felt like any issue that came up was handled smoothly. I had some things happen in my personal life. I don't want to get into them, but they were major. Yet, I held it together smoothly. Come two weeks ago, I started to get the anxiety feeling. It just got progressively worse, to the point that I was ready to go to the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack. I was doing some cleaning and began dusting my piano. I came across a book that my Aunt Debbie had made of Uncle Jeff. I don't know what possessed me to do it but I sat down and began looking through it. It made me smile, so many good memories. Then it got to the part where his funeral is. Something came up on me that I couldn't stop. I just started to sob. I don't like to cry and this was one of those 30 minute hard cries. I really couldn't understand why but I was doing it. After I was done, I felt sooooooo much better. I realized that I had held in so many sad emotions over the past few months, resisting urges to let it out. It was like I instantly made it all go away. Wow, I definitely learned something. So I am doing better on that front.

The Broncos...this is not their year. They keep losing! (I would write about this in the Broncos Family blog, but apparently it has been taken down so YOU all get to read it here.) They have only won 2 games in regular season. UGH!!!!!! I hope the bye week two weeks ago is what they needed to kick it in gear. I still think McDaniels needs to go. It is exciting to watch my Eddie play, and the Tim Tebow thing is fun too. Watching him make his first running and passing touchdowns. He definitely has some talent. I am still a sucker for Kyle Orton tho. All the haters can go suck an egg.

Finally we have a new member in our family. My Mom almost gave me a stray cat that was roaming around her house. Turns out, it belonged to someone who isn't watching it too closely apparently. I was bummed. I already have one cat, but some reason I liked the idea of another kitty. I wanted a cat that I could name Killer the cat! Well, today I went over to the Enoch City animal shelter and hand picked a cat to adopt. She is gray, with one blue and one green eye. About four months old. Not a kitten, but not too small. I went to the shelter and they put me in a room with about 25 cats. I almost had a different one but that one was proving to be too skittish. With my household, I had to find one that would adapt well. I spotted this cat running around and playing with the other cats. I like friskiness. I picked her up, and she snuggled up on me. I was hooked. The lady at the shelter laughed when she wrote down "Killer" in the name slot. To top it all off, they waived the adoption fee, and she is getting spayed for free on the 30th. Socks is still kind of feeling her out, Tova of course loves her, tho Killer isn't too fond of him. She will get used to it. So yes, I, who has always professed my disdain for cats, now has two of em. And I love all of my animals.

I made it!!!

2010-09-21T08:15:00.002-06:00

I had quite the weekend! Started out slow enough. I got my kids ready and their things packed and mine too. We headed down to St. George where my kids would be spending the night. I got ready and very freaked out went to this class reunion. It was at a residence that was huge and amazingly gorgeous, complete with a pond that you could take a paddle boat ride on. Immediately I was surrounded by about 7 girls from my class. I was happy to know that I remembered all their names. As the night progressed I was able to calm down and just relax. It was so nice to see so many people and have a good time. Upon leaving there I went over to my friend Andreas house where we had a couple of beers (I had two so I wasn't all drunk mind you, or even slightly buzzed, this is Utah after all.) We hung out for a couple of hours with Andi, her husband Keith and some of their friends. I hadn't seen them in so long and it was like we had started right where we had left off. Her husband and I exchanged insults and laughed. We even decided to make a late night Denny's run for old times sake. We laughed at the youthful people around us, remembering that it used to be us. We had some insane good times and giggled til our sides hurt and we were crying. I went to my folks' house and crashed on their couch. The next morning my kids and I loaded up into the van and headed to Vegas. I was exhausted but still enjoying myself. It was my cousin Lisa's daughters birthday party. The party was at a splash pad. I went to my Aunts house so they could lead me to where I was going. My Grandma came and rode along with me. She is so confused. I love her to death, but being 89 years young, she has her problems. I think about five times she asked me where we were going and another five times asking me whose birthday it was. What do you do tho? I didn't want to make her feel bad by getting frustrated so I just played along and pretended like it was the first time she asked. The birthday party was fun. Carys got to play with her cousins and seemed to really enjoy them. My kids of course had a blast. So it was a great time. After a couple of hours I headed out of Las Vegas. I had to get updates from people about the Broncos game, luckily Tom recorded it for me. It was a great game! I had dinner at my parents house and then came home. It was such a busy weekend, so tiring, and I loved it. I really wish that all weekends could be this enjoyable. My kids were tuckered, Colton even went to bed willingly. That is a rarity.

I also decided to register to be a marrow donor. That is so funny cause it involves needles. I got my packet yesterday and I was reading the literature. If I am a match I would have to get a shot every day for five days and then if they don't have to do surgery to get it out of my bone, they will stick a needle in one of my arms to draw blood out, send it to a machine to separate the cells that are blood generating and then send the rest back into me via another needle in my other arm. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Think I will call A&E to do a one hour special if I ever get called upon to do this. I could win an Emmy for me and needles are hilarious. I am scared to DEATH of them. But I will willingly do it if it means saving someones life, or giving them a better chance. So just you wait for my TV special. If you are interested in becoming a donor, I registered at bethematch.org .

School is back in. YES!

2010-09-13T13:28:00.006-06:00

I think we all know that I ADORE my children. They are my world and mean absolutely everything to me. That being said, school is back in session and I couldn't be happier. Not that I enjoy my kids being away from me all the time, it is just so much noise and a whole lot of fighting when they are all home, all day every day. Whining and mischief it seems like all I do is run around putting out the little "fires" that keep popping up. I do admit that I feel guilty when I read peoples status updates on Facebook all sad that summer is over. They must be better at it than me. I wonder, "What is wrong with me?" But then, I can't help it dammit! It is also so wonderful to have time alone with Colton. It is his turn to have me to himself. The other two had their time alone with Mommy. We have so much fun. Just playing, doing chores, running errands and snuggling up to watch cartoons. He is very demanding of my time however. But that is my job. I really don't mind. Anyway there is a picture of my two older munchkins on their first day of school. Dylan is now in fourth grade YIKES!! Chloe is a big first grader, and is so in love with school. Dylan so far seems to be enjoying school, his bully is in another class. YES! Feel bad that now some other parent has to deal with that little )(*!.

Speaking of school, my 15 year class reunion is this weekend. I wish I could say I am looking forward to it, but I am not. I am having some huge anxiety issues about it. I wish I could get over it. Couple that with the fact that I will be going alone and that just adds to the panic I am feeling as Saturday approaches. I managed to weasel out of the last two but have decided that I need to face what ever fears and feelings of inadequacy and just go. I always saw myself as the book nerd/geek of the school. I mean, who takes AP Biology and LOVES it? Me that is who! I thought of myself as the school nerd for so long. Recently I have talked to old classmates who were shocked that I saw myself that way. Apparently I was wrong at how I was viewed. I have been told I was seen as "fun, friendly, smart and very cute" Ahhh. OK. That isn't so bad. So I feel better that about that. But still, I don't know why this reunion has me so freaked out?!?! But I am determined to get over it and face it. I am going to have a great time, and talk to old friends. The people I went to school with are (mostly) great people. So in the spirit of class reunions, I am including my Senior picture and a picture of me and my Grandpa when I graduated. Lately I have been missing him a lot, and this picture of the two of us hugging makes me happy. So wish me luck, and pray I don't back out at the last minute!

HOT MAMA!

2010-08-10T17:58:00.002-06:00

This last weekend I was browsing the local stores. I saw a cute shirt and thought, "I want to try that." I noticed that it was in the plus size section of the store. Oh well, I still view myself as overweight no matter how much I tell myself I am not. I have bought clothes in that section a time or two and had it fit nicely. Much to my disapproval. So I found what I thought was my size. It was the smallest one I could find. I took the shirt into the fitting room. Turned around to look at the mirror and thought to myself, "This shirt is HUGE on me." It looked horrid because it was supposed to be somewhat form fitting and it just draped on me. As awful as this shirt was, I stood there with a smile on my face because I have officially been ousted from ever having to shop in that section of the store again. No offense is intended, but I have worked so hard at getting my nice body back that this was a confirmation to me of my accomplishment. Proud, I went over to the regular sized section and found a somewhat sexy shirt that was gorgeous. I automatically picked up the Extra Large size. Tried it on, and sure enough, it was too big. So I down graded. I think I have finally got it through my skull that I really am no longer overweight. I still have a bit of work to do, but I have been slacking lately and seeing that my figure is returning and on its way out from where it has been hiding has given me that shove I needed to "git-r-done." I have also now got it in my head that exercise is fun. Feeling the burn and the sweat is awesome, cause it puts me one step closer. And to top it off, I had to show my ID that same day, the guy behind the counter said, "No way, you don't look that old!" Didn't know if I should punch him or propose marriage.

That was just a BLAST!!!

2010-08-01T14:14:00.002-06:00

Yesterday will go down as one of my most unfavorable days in my life. It started out crummy, with just little things going wrong. Not fair cause it was my 11 year wedding anniversary. I made plans to go play with my friend Asia in St. George with our kids. We were going to take the kids to a splash pad for some water fun. Tom was busy all day so it wasn't going to be much fun here. Got the kids in their swimsuits, I put on mine and threw on my Broncos boxers and a tank and flip flops and we were OFF!!! I was heading down the road and got into the Black Ridge, about the half way point between Cedar and St. George. I noticed a little board or something like that that came out from underneath the car in front of me. I didn't have time to go around, and, it was just a board right? Shortly afterward I heard a thud sound repeatedly underneath me. I was pretty sure I had a flat. *SIGH* I pull over at the Pintura exit and got out and inspected my damage. Sure enough the right front tire was flat. GREAT! I called my Dad to see if he could come help. And called Asia to tell her I wouldn't make it. My Dad said he would head up. It occurred to me that I had taken auto shop in college and I could definitely change the tire myself. So I got out, and retrieved the jack in the back of the van and walked around to get started. Then I noticed a hissing sound and the back tire was going flat too. Needless to say I said a few bad words, luckily my kids were in the van. I got back in the car and called my Dad again, he was really going to have to come help me now. I couldn't get a hold of Tom, and I needed someone that could carry everyone in one vehicle. My Dad wasn't exactly thrilled either, and that back tire was brand new. DAMN IT!!! He and my Mom came up and my Dad removed my tires and threw them in the back of his truck. My kids were not really happy that they were missing their play date, but this was an adventure, and my folks and I were doing our best to stay calm. In the middle of nowhere in Southern Utah heat. Thank goodness I had filled up my over sized coke mug with ice water. We all loaded up into my Dad's extended cab truck and went as quickly as we could to St. George since it was Saturday and all the auto shops would close up early. We got to Big-O tires and while my Dad stayed there to get things taken care of, my Mom and I took the kids to their house so they could have some fun and be out of the way. I quick changed my clothes and went back to Big-O where they were finishing up. They were able to patch up the back tire, but the front tire was ruined. So I needed one new tire. Go to pay and I had forgotten my debit card, they don't take checks. Wonderful, and thank you Dad. (Yes I did pay my folks for the tire ugh!). My Dad and I then went back to Pintura and my Dad put the tires on the van and I headed to St. George. That is just exactly how I wanted to spend my day, my anniversary! PFFFTTTHHH!! However, things calm down quickly in my world and we went to eat at Golden Corral. While there I was looking at the buffet, a fella who had been sitting at the table behind us came up to me and said, "Excuse me, but I just want to tell you that your kids are beautiful. And they are so well behaved." I said, "MY KIDS?!?" He said, "Yes, especially for them being in such a busy public place, they have been so great." I thanked him with a smile and told my kids what had happened and that I was proud of em. Maybe I am doing a thing or two right. :o)

Does this happen to anyone else?

2010-07-21T19:39:00.003-06:00

I am watching a comedy thing, really it is for kids, but I got into it. Well the guy on the show asks a riddle, "What is the moon worth?" I do not know the answer, so I wait impatiently for the answer. Just as he gives it my son and daughter come screaming in the room. *sigh* Thank goodness for DVR! I rewind it to just before he asks the question again, "What is the moon worth?" Here comes the answer...."MOM! COME SEE COLTON'S NEW TRICK!!" Grrr, pause the DVR go see Colton do a head stand. Sit down. Rewind. "What is the moon worth?" the answer is *BARK!**BARK!*BARK!* I yell, "Tova, leave the cat alone!" Rewind. "What is the moon worth?" which is quickly followed by a screaming parade of kids through the family room. OK, now I am getting pissed off. "Go in the other room and BE QUIET!!!" Rewind. "What is the moon worth?" I am determined to hear the answer this time. My phone rings, it is the hubby. I answer it, "WHAT?!?!?" I finish this call and )(*$!!! I am going to get the answer. Rewind. "What is the moon worth?" just as the TV shuts off. My cat jumped in my lap and hit the power button. WHAT THE *BAD WORD*? This is why I rarely watch TV while anyone is up, I haven't been able to finish a show in I don't know how long! I give up.

Dentist

2010-06-28T21:53:00.002-06:00

Normally a trip to the dentist is uneventful. For the regular person. But there is nothing normal about my life, so why should a routine dentist trip be any different. It was a family affair today. I have a never ending issue with my teeth. Dylan had a cavity, and well Chloe just has a mouth full of those buggers. I decided to schedule us all for the same afternoon. I was hoping Tom would be home in time to keep Colton, no such luck. I called my in-laws and they were busy all afternoon and had company coming over. I called my sister-in-law, the other Jamie Parry, and she was sick. No one was able to watch him. Oh well, my problem, and I was going to have to make it work. I loaded up the kids, and Tom called to say that he would come by the office and pick him up as soon as he could. Well I get there, and I am the first one to head back. There is a play area for kids in the office, but Colton didn't want to leave me. So the older two stayed in the play area while I took lil muncher back with me. Got me all juiced up and filled in. Colton was surprisingly well behaved and I thanked my lucky stars. They already had Dylan in the chair when I was finished and Chloe was next. Dylan is a trooper and does ok, so I wasn't too worried. They gassed up Chloe and luckily Tom showed up just as Dylan was finished up. He took the boys home and I braced myself for the onslaught that I was SURE was about to come. I did everything I could think of before hand to make sure it didn't get too ugly, I even bribed her. If you know my daughter, she is a hellion and a loud one at that. I told the dentist, this was going to be a challenge. He laughed and said, "Thanks for the warning." I could feel myself tensing up, glad I had taken a Xanax, cause I have a fear of needles, and needed it to stay calm to show my kids, "Nothing to it." I sat in the chair, ready to jump up. She refused to open her mouth until I sat down. Little stinker. I saw them put the needle in, and she didn't budge. What? Chloe? Hello? She didn't make a sound, didn't budge NOTHING. WOW!!! When he was done she looked at the dentist and said, "That didn't hurt." Kind of like a dare. There was a collective chuckle there. I was able to relax, and the dentist got to work. Chloe laid there and just watched Kung Fu Panda that they had on the ceiling mounted TV. I was shocked to say the least. As we left, she started talking about how her lip felt funny and how every time she goes to the dentist, it doesn't hurt. She had been so scared going in, she even brought her dolly to help her, and she clutched the doll until it was time. To say the least I was relieved that it went so well. She and I get to go back in a couple of weeks, for more work. And then probably again after that. I was so proud of my little girl. She was so brave and didn't make a sound. My boys were great too. Dylan was in and out so quick and Colton sat there and charmed all the nurses and assistants. He is a flirt. I am one proud Mama.

One Upmanship

2010-06-18T18:33:00.002-06:00

Today I decided to take my kiddos to the park. It was a beautiful day, in the low 80's with a slight breeze. We went to the park, Whitni included, and then I stopped at the store to buy some much needed items. I was checking out when the lady ahead of me in my line, came up and said, "You have amazing taste in teams." I looked down and saw that she was wearing a broncos t-shirt. As was I. It was really cool. Then, the competition began.

Her: "I have more stuff than you can imagine"
Me: "I don't know about that"
Her: "I have a signed football from 1980"
Me: "I have 2 Eddie Royal jerseys, one signed and my son has Terrell Davis"
Her: "My husbands company has season tickets."
Me: "My family has season tickets"
Her: "I have a flag"
Me: "So do I"
Her: "I have over 20 t-shirts"
Me: "I have a Bronco sticker that takes up the whole rear window of my van, right above the
Broncos license plate frame"
Her: "I have Broncos cereal, an alarm clock and a lamp"
Me: "My Mom has Ed McCaffrey mustard, goes to at least one game every year, and even has
the seats from Mile High in her back yard."

Sorry, Mom, I had to pull out the big guns. She couldn't really top that last one. Meanwhile, my 17 year old step daughter and her daughter of approximately the same age gave us both "SHUT UP ALREADY" looks. We chatted for a bit, it was all in good fun. When I got to the front the lady checking me out said, "That was entertaining." Everyone got a kick out of it. Maybe I have a new friend to add to my Broncos family.

Comparison

2010-06-13T13:45:00.008-06:00

Now it is time to show what a difference a year can make. I am going to do a side by side comparison of me. On the left we have me in the spring of 2009. That is when I was about 200+ pounds. On the right we have me a few days ago. I am about 40 pounds lighter and feeling a LOT better. I am in a healthy BMI, and am not considered over weight anymore. It is such a relief! Granted, these aren't full body pics, but you can still see it in my face. I didn't make my goal weight for this summer, but that is OK. I still made some great progress and am looking forward to being to my goal weight sometime this fall. I am just so surprised that I didn't realize how chunky I had gotten sooner. It snuck up on me. I had used every excuse in the book, favorite being, I just had my third child! You can only use excuses for so long before you say, "I am FAT time to fix it." Starting tomorrow, I am back on my exercise and food watch routine. I am not dieting again. Diets and me don't work. I am way too stubborn. Even when I tell myself I can't eat this or that, I defy MYSELF to show MYSELF that I do what I want! Anyway, thank you so much for all the encouragement. I have the greatest people in the world in my life. :o)

Escape

2010-06-07T14:51:00.005-06:00

After my little sad episode last week and the ultimate wake up, I decided to take my children to the library. Well the older two, because I wanted to actually experience the library rather than chase a two year old around. While the kids were in the children section of the library, I started browsing the books. I am stubborn when it comes to reading. If you tell me I have to read it, I won't. Like school or book clubs are not for me. If I am assigned reading in anyway, I will avoid it til the last minute. I guess it is my strong will playing out. I don't really understand why but it is that way. I don't care how interesting the book is I find a reason not to read it til the last minute, and even then, it is just a skim through. Anyway, back to the subject. I had heard about a memoir by Carolyn Jessop called Escape. A book that detailed the life of a woman raised in the FLDS. I decided to check it out. HOLY FLIPPIN COW! This was a good read. I finished it within a couple of days, it is easy reading tho. Being that I grew up right next to the towns of Hildale, UT and Colorado City, AZ, this book kinda has some meaning to me. These Polygamists were a constant in my world. No one really believed that this was a reality until you would drive them up to these towns and show them. I remember as a teenager seeing girls that were around my age either pregnant or carrying around babies. They dress like they just stepped out of a Little House on the Prarie set. Southen Utah frequently gets well above the 100 degree mark in the summertime and these women are dressed in layers of clothes and dresses down to their ankles, long sleeves and high collars. As I got older I began to realize the disgusting way these women were treated. I volunteered for a time at a Women's shelter, and that really opened my eyes. These women were severely abused. Emotionally, physically and sexually. It was awful to hear their stories, even worse was that they really didn't see anything wrong with it, because they were living the way God wanted them to. I am still in disbelief that this was happening in modern day America. The evil in me tho does like to indulge in standing up to a man from this community. They are condescending to all women and when one of them starts barking at me about whatever I like to remind them that they are not that important. I remember a friend of mine telling one, "Sir, I am not one of your wives, you canNOT talk to me that way." Hilarious to see the looks on their faces when a woman can dish it right back and he can't do anything about it.

Let me get one thing straight. I am all for freedom of Religion in this country. I am not necessarily against polygamy if all parties involved are consenting adults. Which is not usually the case here.

So reading this book was a little extra fascinating cause she mentioned the area I grew up in. She would mention a place and I could picture it. She even was able to attend the same college as I did. I wonder if I ever ran into her or her husband. I felt sorry for her. The way the other sister wives treated each other was awful. The way the older daughters were towards her was very bad. Most of all her husband, Merril Jessop, was disgusting. He married her out of a business arrangement with her Dad. Sad thing is, he wanted her younger, 16 year old sister, but got the names mixed up. She is the mother of 8 kids by him, and the fourth of his many wives. During the length of the book there were 6 wives, but since he has married more. He was abusive and fed the flames of the evil ways in which the family was toward each other. And for being such an outstanding citizen, he is considered the leader of the group that up and moved to Texas! This book also details her escape. The struggle but ultimate relief she experienced. How much we take for granted! Even hugging your children and showing them any affection is frowned upon. Really, I can't comprehend how people can be this way towards each other. But it is the way of life up there. And when Warren Jeffs took over, it got really bizarre up there. I remember hearing things about how he wouldn't allow red in the community, all children were pulled from school, his sermons would get leaked out-talk about creepy. He was a racist and I heard one of his sermons say how the blacks were dirty and evil. They say truth is stranger than fiction, and in this case it is. Little side note, when he was ultimately captured he was in a red SUV, wearing shorts and then my brother's best friend ended up on his jury.

To play the devil's advocate, I must say that this book is written from Carolyn Jessops view. I don't recall her mentioning herself participating in any of the abuse in the home. I wonder how she could not be that way if she was raised in this cult? I wonder what she left out? However, if she is in fact innocent of any of the blame, then good for her!

I would love to write a whole lot more, but this is already getting too long. If you are interested in cults at all, this is definitely a must read.

Heroes in Heaven

2010-06-04T23:25:00.005-06:00

So in my last post I mentioned a blog that I was referred to. Well the author of that blog said that I could mention her and her blog. If you want to read what helped me realize that my life was easy compared to many out there go read Heroes in Heaven. Thank you Colleen Terrill. And God bless you!

Perspectives

2010-06-03T16:06:00.002-06:00

Today was one of those days for me. I can't really explain it. Anyone who has battled depression might understand. From the moment I woke up I just had this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I laid there in bed listening to Dylan and Chloe doing their "chores" so that they could go over to their cousins house. Eventually my bedroom door opened, "Mom can we go to Tyson's house?" I gave a very un-present like answer of "Yea, be back by 11." I listened to Colton yell at me and try to make me get up. I just couldn't drag myself out of bed. It took me a half an hour of contemplation to finally force myself up. I got Colton out of the crib and methodically did the morning routine. Get dressed, change diapers, pick up a little, comb my hair, make up. But no matter what nothing made me shake that "impending doom" feeling that I get. Feelings like something very bad is about to happen, or someone is out to get me. Anxiety. I knew I was feeling a panic attack coming on but I was being stubborn and thinking, "GET A GRIP!" I went and took my daily Zoloft dose and then finally decided, "What the hell?" And took a mild dose of the Xanax. I don't like to take the Xanax when there isn't another adult around. But time has taught me that I need to listen to myself when the warning signs are there. Xanax has done the trick on taking the edge off of it all but the sadness was still all consuming. With that sadness comes anger. I should be happy! I have a very good life! I know it is a condition that I have, but come on! So I kept myself busy being the Mom, taking care of kids, dishes, laundry, bathroom cleaning, vacuuming. Usually if I can keep myself occupied, my mind will wander and I will forget all the whining in my head. It helped but I still couldn't shake it! Then I figured, this is just not a good day in my mind. So I went to the computer and logged on. One of the groups I have created on facebook sent me to a woman's blog. A Mother, who had lost her son a few years ago in a go cart accident. I won't name them out of respect for their privacy. She wrote a detailed description of the day of the accident and the motions that she had to go through the following days. It was heart breaking. I cried for her. I never met her, but wanted to go find her, hug her, and tell her I was here for her. I can't imagine anything worse than losing a child. She even describes her life now, and the grief is still pretty raw. Yet through reading all of this sadness, my life regained the perspective it usually has. I am overall a happy person. I realize how lucky I am. It was as tho God was showing me what I needed to get out of the funk. Thank you Lord! So now, I need to go salvage what is left of today.

FAIL! Well, not really.

2010-05-23T16:37:00.003-06:00

Looking back on my fitness goals, I have missed this first round. Meaning I wanted to be at a certain weight by this time. Yet, it wasn't a complete loss, so to speak. I have in fact, lost weight. I am way past the thirty pound loss mark. If you look at pictures of me from one year ago, you can see it. So I can't be too disappointed in myself. I am by no means giving up either. I haven't really had any changes in a few months. I haven't lost but more importantly I haven't gained. I look at myself in the mirror and feel a lot better about myself. I actually bought myself a bikini. I dreaded putting it on but when I finally tried it, I was surprised that I didn't look like a total porker. Yes, I need some tightening up, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I have been out sun tanning in the back yard, not a lot, I am too fair skinned to ever get very dark, but I just want a little bit of a sun "glow". Before anyone asks, NO I will NOT be posting pictures of me in this bikini any time soon. If I get down to where I want to be, you might see it, but for now it isn't happening. I am sporting my summer clothes with confidence. I haven't worn shorts out in public in a very long time. I can now go to the store wearing shorts and flip flops and not feel like a total idiot. It feels really good to have more confidence in myself. I don't think I am drop dead gorgeous, or model caliber, I feel like a good average woman and I love it. I love running into people I haven't seen in a while, every time they mention that I have thinned down. It is nice that people have taken notice. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and help you have given me. It has helped me a LOT!
Now for my next goal. I want to finish this weight loss, AND not this year but next be able to run the St. George Marathon. I am not saying that I will do it, but I want to be able to if I want to.

I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!!!

2010-05-17T20:42:00.000-06:00

A couple of months ago on Facebook, Eddie Royal had a contest. In a nut shell, I came in first place. Because of that I was able to have two items signed. All I wanted was a jersey signed. So I gave the other one to my friend Tony. We both had jersey's signed, his was a home one and mine was an away one. I can't even begin to say how THRILLED I am. Eddie Royal is my obsession these days. Seriously, ask anyone who knows me, I practically worship the guy. I intend to put this baby in a shadow box and display it. Eddie is a class act guy, has a wonderful attitude and is so down to earth. I wish more athletes were this way. Thanks again Eddie, YOU ROCK!

Poor kid!

2010-04-14T22:27:00.004-06:00

I swear, my Colton just can't catch a break. He is barely 2 years old and he has from the moment he was born had a slew of things happen. When he was born he had respiratory issues that kept him in the hospital a few days, then jaundice which he had to sleep under billi lights. Or as I prefer to say, baby tanning bed. Then who can forget last year with his seizures? He had a spinal tap, mri's eeg's and enough blood taken to supply the red cross. Finally we get that mess taken care of. Fast forward to a few weeks ago and he has a ruptured ear drum, impetigo, throat infection and he had burned his hand on my curling iron. Which brings us to today. Last night, I lay in bed thinking, "I haven't had to go to the ER in a long time. That is so cool!" I should have shut up my thoughts. Today started out OK. I had made arrangements for Konner to come over. His Mom needed to stay in bed and so I went and got him. He is really a cutie, and my kids ADORE him. I went and got him, got us some tacos and came home. Two 2-year olds, are hilarious to watch interact. The babble and excitement and animation are quite entertaining. Chloe got home early, it is early out here on Wednesdays. She played with the boys for a while. Then we all went outside. We were out there, and I had videotaped Colton going down the slide and sent it to my folks and hubby. While I was sending it, Colton got in the way of the swing that the other two were on. It is one of those double seater cage like things. With metal edges that nailed Colton square in the head. I reached down to pick him up and there was blood everywhere. I saw that it was coming out of his head. Yes head wounds are the worst. It was like a little river of blood. I rush him into the house and grab a towel to try to stop the bleeding. I got it to stop and tried to get a closer look. He was so mad at me for bringing him in the house. Well, I told the other two to come in and took Colton in my lap to inspect him. I couldn't really see the wound, but it had stopped bleeding fairly quickly. I decided that it would be O.K. And I would put him down for his nap so that I could keep an eye on it while he was calm. He never went to sleep so after about 30 minutes I grabbed him and was able to see it. It was a nice gash on the back left side of his head. I decided I had better check it out, if nothing to have them tell me nothing was wrong and go home. Dylan got out early too, so I kicked it into gear. I called Konners Mom and she said it was OK to bring him home, and then I arranged to take the older two over to my in-laws. My kids would much rather spend the afternoon with Grandma and Grandpa than in a doctors office. I took my two over to their Grandparents and then ran over and took Konner home. Then decided to go to Insta-care rather than the hospital. For many reasons. 1. It is substantially cheaper co-pay. 2. A lot less busy 3. A lot more relaxed. I got over there and they got him right in. (AND rather than have to pay a $100 ER copay, I only had to pay a $35 Specialist copay.) They decided that he would need to have something either stitches or staples. But rather than get a shot, they used a gel that they repeatedly applied over the next hour. In the mean time we watched Spongebob. It was a very nice experience really. They were all so great over there. Well they took him back and the Dr. and I discussed the options. We decided to go with staples because we knew he would throw a fit and he is one very tough 2 year old. It would be less traumatic for him to be held down for the duration of a stapling vs. stitches. So they put 4 staples in his head. The "boo boo" looks so sad, but you wouldn't know that he had anything happen to him by the way he acts. It is like nothing happened. I am so happy for that. I am sure I will be checking on him all night. Hey, cut me some slack, it's a Mommy thing.

So far, so good

2010-03-27T13:59:00.004-06:00

Well this week went much better in the Parry household. Luckily Dylan hasn't had any issues with Steven. There was one little verbal thing, but oh well, they got over it. I think the Principal, besides sitting down and talking to the boys, also talked to the bully's folks. Dylan says that they don't really hang out together and when they are around each other, they avoid contact. Oh I am so hopeful that it is all over. I got a lot of support from friends on this. I did get a couple of people thinking I should just have let it alone. Oh hell no! I do believe that if possible, yes my kids should fight their own battles. But I will step in when my kid is sick cause of it and getting punched. If people don't like it tough. These are MY kids not yours. I get to make the decisions not you. I will do what I think is best regardless of what everyone else thinks. There, just had to get that out. Dylan is back to the fun loving, sweet boy he was before this whole mess. I love it! I was so proud of him yesterday. He told me that there was a boy and a girl fighting. The boy reached up and was going to punch the girl. Dylan and his friend, Jared, got in front of the girl, and protected her. How awesome is that? My little boy is amazing. No wonder the teacher says he is so liked at school. Colton is doing good. He is over all his ailments it seems. He is asserting himself well. He has learned that in order to make it with his older siblings, he is going to have to make his wants well known. Chloe is loving school and is thriving. She is so smart! A little pain in the ass most of the time, but beautiful and smart. It is so fun to watch them all grow. Learn new things and to think, "Wow, those beautiful creatures are MINE!" I swear there is nothing better in this world.

As for me, I am alive and well. I am getting used to some new glasses. I have had them about a month, and wonder, "why didn't I get them sooner?" I haven't lost anymore weight, but I haven't gained any either. I love it. I love feeling healthy. I love seeing myself now compared to a year ago and thinking, "DAMN! I am HOT!" Little more ways to go, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Then I can be Tom's "trophy wife" HAHA! Yea right!

The Situation

2010-03-18T15:57:00.004-06:00

I have learned, that parenting is a blood sport. It is not for the timid. The whole process will overwhelm you and eat you alive if you show any form of weakness. I am learning that every day. Particularly when it comes to Dylan. Since he is my oldest, I get to experience everything for the first time with him. I realize my last post talked about how he is thriving. For the most part he is. But recently, I have had to deal with the "bully" problem. I know we all deal with these weenies at least once in our lifetimes, but it doesn't prepare you for when it happens to your kid. There is one boy in Dylan's class that fits the stereotypical mold of a bully. He is bigger than his classmates and is an angry child. Last week, on a Monday, Dylan came home and said he wasn't feeling good. I could tell something else was going on so I forced it out of him. This kid was pushing him around. Ok, we will take care of it, but not that huge of a deal right? I wasn't that worried. The next day, Dylan convinced me that he was sick and so I let him stay home. The next day, Wednesday, I was prepared to make him go to school and face it head on, but he was throwing up he was so upset. I called the school and talked to his teacher who said that she would talk to him and his parents and try to get this taken care of. She told me that it wasn't just Dylan, that Steven has had issues with a lot of kids and that he does have a problem. OK, so Dylan went to school on Thursday. Nothing happened. Friday rolled around and Dylan had a birthday party for his friend. I was highly reluctant on letting him go, because this bully, Steven, would be there, and he had threatened to "tear Dylan to pieces" if Dylan went. It was at an inflatable play place and Dylan so wanted to go regardless. And I realized, I can't let some little pain in the ass dictate what my kid could do. So I took him, and then called his Dad, because I didn't want him to be there without one of us watching. Tom had been a bit concerned about all of this so he said he would go. Apparently this Steven kid was relentless with Dylan, hitting, pushing and even sitting on him. Tom is friends with the birthday boys Dad, and so the Dad sent some bigger kids over to teach him a lesson. We both agreed. BAD IDEA! We don't condone that, but what do you do?

Well on Monday, Dylan had some issues and managed to get himself into a spat of trouble, but it wasn't a big deal. I discussed the situation with the teacher and she was trying so hard, but Steven has anger issues. YOU THINK?!?!?! Tuesday was uneventful, and I thought, "Maybe it is over with." Well yesterday, was the last straw. Dylan came into the house and with tears in his eyes said, "I just had the worst day of my life!" I asked what had happened, and Dylan said that Steven and another kid cornered him on the playground punched him three times in the back and then smacked him on the side of the head. Retaliation for what had happened at the party despite the fact that Tom and Dylan hadn't done anything. That was it for me, I was pissed off, sorry, but I was. No one beats on my kid without Mama Bear coming out. I called the Principal this time. I had numerous conversations with the teacher and she was doing all she could, but it just wasn't working. I waited about a half an hour so I could calm down. I told the Principal about it and he was reassuring that he would get to work on it. If he can't make it stop then we will have a group meeting with the parents of this little jackass. Well Dylan just got home and I asked him how the conversation with Principal Taylor went and he said good. He thinks that they can now be friends. I am wary, but I have to have faith in my Son. He is a good, smart kid so I told him, "I don't want you playing with him, please be careful." I certainly hope this is the end of it. Otherwise I will be having a showdown with his parents and I guarantee I will be relentless until this kid learns his lesson.
I had asked Dylan's teacher, "You said he had lots of friends?!" She said, "He does, I think he is the most liked kid in this classroom which is probably why Steven is jealous and wants to hurt Dylan." We gave Dylan permission to defend himself and whomp this kids ass, but that isn't in his nature. Dylan is such a tender and sweet soul. We do want him to fight his own battles, but when it gets physical we have to make it stop. Maybe I am overprotective but bullying is not something I tolerate either towards or from my kids Chloe will probably end up on the other side of the situation, Lord help us all! We have decided that we will have his Uncle Cameron teach him karate, since he is a 3rd degree black belt. Maybe that will give him the confidence and ability to defend himself when need be but the discipline to not use it unless he has to.
And if that wasn't enough, my baby isn't feeling well. I knew he had a cold but it developed into an ear/throat infection which caused a ruptured ear drum with all that fun gunk coming out of his ears. This also developed impetigo under his nose and he had grabbed my professional grade curling iron so he has a nice burn on his hand. I took him to the doctor to get treated, and said, "CPS isn't going to show up are they?" He laughed and said, "I think all kids grab the curling iron at least once!" Well, true, all three of mine have done it now. But this poor kid looks so sad. A red ear with stuff coming out, an upper lip and nose that is bloody and red, and a nice big burn on his hand. And then paying for all the prescription meds for this kid, all I can say is WHOA MAMA! Even WITH insurance. LOL. But that is the life of a parent. And with all the headache, stress and bloodshed, I love it. My kids are my world, and they bring us so much happiness.

Oh the joys of parenthood.

2010-03-04T19:02:00.003-07:00

Today and yesterday were my S.E.P conferences with my kids' teachers. These are your basic Parent teacher conferences. Yesterday was Dylan. I met with his teacher. There isn't much change. He is super smart, just can't seem to handle the pressure. He is a bit immature due to the fact that he barely made the cut off point for his enrollment. So he is younger than his peers. However that is improving. He is making progress. Whew. His teacher pointed out that he does have one or two eccentric behaviors, but for the most part he is growing. Reading and spelling tend to be his struggling points. Science and math he is very good at. I have come to the conclusion that I will push him, but not too hard. I have decided that he will learn at his own pace, and when he isn't under pressure, it is amazing how well he does. I asked her how he was doing socially, and she told me that she can't think of anyone who doesn't like him. He has lots of friends and is always playing well with others. YAY DYLAN!! My only complaint about his teacher is that she talks to me like I am an idiot. I counted five times that she said, "I don't know if you can understand this but...." It was so annoying. Oh well, maybe the other parents aren't able to grasp it. But really I do have an I.Q. higher than a peanut!

Today was Chloes conference. She is doing exceptionally well. School was made for this kid. She loves it so much, she gets upset that she is out early this week. And she also wants to stay all day. LOL. Makes me happy to see my kids so eager to learn. Her teacher said that she remembered suggesting that she should go into extended day Kindergarten. She didn't test at level. That was because she refused to answer questions. I told the teacher, "Just wait. She is a sponge and I guarantee she can handle it." I was right. She is high above level in many areas. GO CHLOE!! AND she is behaving herself! I had warned her teacher at the beginning of the year, that her attitude leaves a lot to be desired. But, there have been no problems with her so far. Why in the world can't that child be that way at home?!?!? Here she is a raging little turd, there she is an angel?!?!

All in all, I am very proud of my kids. They are thriving and as a Mom it makes me feel good and like I am doing something right with them. I am sure you other parents can understand the feeling of second guessing yourself constantly. When you get those little reassurances that they are great kids, it makes you feel pretty prideful.

Political Compass

2010-02-25T12:33:00.007-07:00

I just took a couple of Political quizzes, to see where I fall. They are all coming back Libertarian. You can take a look at the chart on the left and where the red dot is located, is where I measure up. With a small lean to the "right" I think this last quiz I took at http://www.politicalcompass.org was probably the most accurate so far. I used to be as liberal as they came. But as I age I am finding my views to be shifting to the more conservative side. I am not thrilled with either the Republicans or the Democrats. I, as of late, have been advocating a third party system. Anymore I don't see a huge difference between the D & R's. My feelings are that we need to get out of big Government, the more freedom the better. I am tired of the Government legislating our morals, our behavior and what we can and can't do in what seems like every aspect of our lives. This is supposed to be a free nation. Part of that freedom is a free market and the upholding of our Constitution. If you are interested in seeing where you lie, or at least get an overall idea, I encourage you to take this quiz. I have also included a few charts below to give you a reference to where I stand. Should be interesting for a

debate!

It's Working!

2010-02-24T11:31:00.003-07:00

Recently I had to get a refill on my crazy Mom meds. I then received a phone call from my doctor who needed to authorize the renewal. It went like this,
Dr: "Hi Jamie, I have been looking over your chart and noticed that you have been losing weight"
Me: "Yes."
Dr.: "I would like to ask why?"
Me: "Because I didn't like being fat!"
Dr.: "O.K. so it is on purpose. Good Job."

I found the conversation funny. At first I didn't know what to make of it, until I realized that he was making sure that it wasn't the depression that was causing it. I explained to him, that no, this was in fact me working my ass off. Literally. I am at the point that the rapid weight loss is over, I am now inching my way down. Make no mistake, I am still losing pounds, just not as quickly as before. I am so pleased with what I am accomplishing. I really wish that more people would maybe use my story as an inspiration. I know it isn't easy, but it isn't as hard as some might think. You need to find out what works for you. I don't really diet. I just count my calories. I also am finding workouts and ways to keep moving that I find enjoyable. This might not work for everyone but it works for me. I can't tell you how inspiring it is to run into someone I haven't seen in a while and have them look at me and say, "You look good! You have lost weight!" It never gets old and it happens quite frequently. I really don't notice myself looking different until I look at pictures from a year ago and think, "OMG, yuck!" I still have a way to go but I know I can do it. I am well on my way to being that one Hot Mama! Well at least a nice looking Mama.

Concert

2010-02-19T20:55:00.007-07:00

Last night I went to the Eric Dodge and Travis Tritt concert. I had an amazing time. I hadn't planned on going until last week I thought, "Hey that might be fun." So I was able to hook up with my friend Tami who got us the tickets and we had a girls night. The evening started out with us going to dinner and then heading over. The first show was Eric Dodge. I had mentioned him before and I am going to do it again now. He did absolutely AMAZING. He is truly talented and so is his band. Watching him and listening to him mature as an artist is fascinating. He has a great presence on stage. It seems as tho he is on the same level as the audience, jamming with us not just for us. He has a new album coming out this April, I cannot wait. He played some music off of it and all I can say is WOW! Good job Eric, you are well on your way to making it BIG!

After Eric Dodge was Travis Tritt. I had seen him before. This show was much better. Last time he fell off the stage. Really. One had to wonder why?! He played a lot of his older hits along with some of his newer ones. I have always loved his music. When I was in college I had his greatest hits CD and my roommates and I used to play that thing until it wore out. I loved hearing his rockin' tunes and his acoustic session where it was just him and his guitar. He put on a great show.

After it was all over, I can say we had a great evening. I love my kids and all but sometimes it is fun to remember that I am more than just a Mom sometimes and I do like to have a good time with the girls.

Broncos Family

2010-02-16T20:50:00.002-07:00

My friend, the new Bronco fanatic, has started a new blog and he has invited me to share in it. It is a place where we can share our obsession for the Broncos with the world. So for anyone out there who has any love for the team, check out www.broncosfamily.blogspot.com or click on the "Broncos Family" link on the right side bar of this blog. We talk about news, our opinions or just whatever has us thinking about our Boys. Even if you aren't really into the Broncos you should check it out. It really is a great site.

Woohoo!!!!

2010-02-13T11:13:00.007-07:00

Well, the wait is over, It finally got here! I am talking about my Eddie Royal jersey. I was a bit nervous, since I bought it on eBay. They stated that it was new in NFL store pack packaging, but, you never know. I was thrilled when it was finally delivered! I tore open the box, and they were right, brand new, never worn, in NFL store packaging. SWEET! Now I am sooo ready for next season, I can't wait to be wearing this baby every Sunday. I love football and most of all GO BRONCOS!!!!!! Please excuse the photos, I had my five year old take them. Not bad considering.....

Fanaticism

2010-02-10T10:59:00.012-07:00

I have a friend who has very recently joined my clan in the larger picture of Broncos family. Why is this something I want to write about? Cause it is a complete shock is why. The Sunday after my birthday, I rolled out of bed and my phone was beeping that I had some messages. They were notifications for my facebook. OK, I am still groggy but I head over to the computer and log on. There is a message from my dear, old friend, Tony in Alaska, talking about how he has decided he needs to rethink his football team. A quick history: Originally he was a Vikings fan, but due to the fact that Favre will always be a Packer and the way the team was being run, he got disgusted and left without looking back. Make no mistake, he tried to stay loyal but couldn't do it. My heavens, the Vikings made the playoffs, and he still couldn't get behind them, so that told me how serious he was about saying goodbye to the Vikings. He then decided to go for the 49ers since he lived there a while. Frankly I don't care one way or another for them, sometimes I am for them, sometimes against them. Again, he tried, but just wasn't feeling it. I watched him try and love the team, but it wasn't happening. Even thousands of miles away I could tell. He and I would go back and forth bantering about our teams. Me always praising my Broncos, him, laughing at me and giving me hell. So imagine my surprise when I logged on that Sunday morning to find out that he was now on my side! He was pledging his loyalty to the DENVER BRONCOS!!! I read through all had written to me. I thought, "How much beer did I drink last night?!? I need some coffee, that cannot be right." I got up, made me some coffee, woke up and sat down thinking, that I was imagining things. There it was again. He was a Broncos Fan! Tom heard me say, "What the hell? This must be a joke!" He asked me what I was talking about and I told him. He just said, "Its a good thing, more Broncos fans the better!" I agree. But do you know how much crapola I got from this guy? In a matter of two weeks, he has gone from announcing his loyalty to full fledged, obsessed, fanatic! He never showed this much enthusiasm for the niners or the Vikings, whom he cheered on, for 41 years! So I believe him when he says this is the real thing. I have been able to share with him what I know, but he is quickly surpassing me to the point that I am going to soon be asking HIM for knowledge. I love having a another friend as a fellow fanatic. It is nice having people to discuss the team with. I have introduced him to a couple of my friends who are just as nuts as I am, Susan and my Mom. They have embraced him and are excited to have him on our side. Tony and I were discussing this recently and he said that he never really understood what I meant by "bleeding Blue and Orange" He just thought I was crazy! He now gets it. He understands the pride and commitment I have for the Broncos. He has taken this on full speed ahead. I am still in shock. Just a matter of a few weeks ago, he was giving me a hard time. All football season I heard it from him. (Broncos fans are used to it.) I can hardly wait for next season. I am always happy for fall football season, but even more this time cause we have a new fellow, insanely crazy, devoted fanatic. So welcome, Tony, you can look forward to your initiation soon. ;o) I am very excited to have him along for this wild and crazy ride. If you would like to check out Tony's blog, where he himself is discussing his own transformation, please click on the "Broncos Family" or the "Anchorage Daily" link on the right sidebar of my blog.

While I know other teams have their crazy fans, I must say Broncos take the cake. The love the fans have are enormous.
When we win, you can't shut us up for a week. When we lose, as sad as we are, we are still madly in love with our boys. "Here's to you, Mile High Denver Bronco Fans and your two favorite teams. The Broncos and whoever is stomping Oakland!"

#19

2010-02-05T21:59:00.004-07:00

I finally did it! I actually have purchased my Eddie Royal jersey! I have been dying to get my hands on one of these puppies, but have been apprehensive. Why? Because the cheapie in me, didn't want to pay full price for a jersey, just to have him get traded. I went on eBay and managed to find a "new, never worn, in NFL store packaging" ER jersey yesterday. For less than half of what they cost normally. I cannot wait to get it.
Make no mistake, I am a HUGE fan of Denver Broncos Wide Receiver Eddie Royal. He has a wonderful talent and is mesmerizing to watch. I drug my feet picking a new favorite player after my original favorite player, Terrell Davis, retired. I decided to set my my sights last year on either a rookie or a 2nd year player. I watched the early 2008 season and something about that number 19 guy just leaped out at me almost immediately. I was hooked! Thanks to friends in Denver and the Internet, I have been able to read up on him. I have a friend in Denver that sends me articles, programs and all that. Thanks Susan!

Mr. Royal doesn't take for granted his talents. Besides his great game, he has a wonderful attitude. He seems to understand that fans are a blessing. He has a facebook page where he himself will post messages and interact with us normal people. Not many do that. Being that he is so young it is nice to see him grasp the nice guy role. Not the "I am so great, and so young, WORSHIP ME!" That attitude is way too prevalent. If you are a Broncos fan, keep an eye on this guy. He may still be learning the ropes, but he is well on his way to greatness. And to my Broncos Gods, please, please, please, PLEASE!!!! Hold on to Brandon Marshall!!!!!!

p.s. Watch for the pics of me in my beloved Eddie Royal jersey. *sigh* So dreamy!

Avatar

2010-01-31T16:44:00.002-07:00

This movie was absolutely amazing! I had my birthday last Friday, and as part of my "birthday weekend" going to see this was part of it. I am generally not attracted to the Sci-Fi sort of genre, but this one is really good. I had heard a lot of good things about it from family and friends and I decided to give it a shot. I was not at all disappointed. Originally it was going to be Tom and I going to the movie. I could tell he didn't really want to go so I gave him the "out" he needed and took my two older kids. My 8 year old and 5 year old. I thought Dylan would like it. He loves anything robotic and alien. I was worried about how Chloe would handle it. Well, she had a blast. She was intrigued and not once did she freak out. When things jumped out at you she would laugh her little head off. When there was fighting she would giggle and say, "That's gonna hurt!" My little girl is as disturbed as her Mother. Dylan was just amazed at the effects. He kept reaching up to touch the things floating around. Since the movie is in 3-D it completely immerses you into the planet "Pandora". I found myself almost believing that I was part of it all. The storyline reminds me of 'Dances with Wolves' But way cooler. I highly recommend it to everyone. I can't wait for the rest of the trilogy to make it to theaters!

State of the Union

2010-01-28T14:48:00.002-07:00

Last night was the annual State of the Union address. I can't say I am inspired. As always, it bored the heck outta me. It was the same thing, different President. They always toot their own horn, talk about how we need to come together and how it is the other sides fault. I got a kick out of Supreme Court Justice Alito's response to Mr. Obamas criticism. Other than that, I sat there, drifting in and out of consciousness for 70 minutes of my life. Before anyone gets excited and pegs me an Obama hater, I have this same criticism of every SU address. For once I think it would be cool if the President got up there and in five minutes or less said, "This is what is going on, This is what I am doing, This is what I hope to accomplish." When you cut it down, it wouldn't take but a few minutes for him to say what needed to be said. But in between the standing ovations and jabs at the right it was the same old thing. Just insert the issues of the moment. Tom was watching it with me and all he could say was, "They must be Lutheran, stand-up, sit-down...." He always teases me about that and my Church. I was hoping for something different. Seeing as this is supposed to be such a different President. But he doesn't seem to be able to think for himself. I never wish for the failure of our Presidency. I keep hoping that something will happen that will make me say, "OH YEA! He is one awesome President." Hasn't happened yet. For once I am so grateful that I didn't vote for a sitting President. Again, before anyone gets excited, I didn't vote for him cause I knew he would win. I vote for who I think is going to lose so I can bitch about it. Anyway, you would think I would learn my lesson but every year I turn it on. Stare at the mind numbing boob tube like a zombie and think, "EVERY DAMN YEAR!"

Inches

2010-01-27T12:08:00.002-07:00

I have finally measured myself. Something I haven't done since July. I am happy with my results so far, but look forward to more being long gone. So, without further delay, here are my three main areas. I am only putting down how much I have lost not the actual measurements.

Waist: -9.5 inches

Arms : -2 inches

Thighs: -2 inches

I am thrilled with these numbers. I have lost over a foot all over. I don't expect my butt to really go down too far. I have always had a bubble butt. I can firm it up tho. I do like what I am seeing when I get out of the shower and don't shudder. My only regret is that I let my depression and anxiety get in the way of a healthier me. I wish I would have done this sooner. Feeling and looking better makes it so much easier to get through the day. And while Tom has always told me how pretty he thinks I am, I can tell that he is enjoying the rediscovered self that I am returning to. :o)

Well, it was fun.

2010-01-24T22:42:00.003-07:00

Yep, it was fun while it lasted. The Vikings lost in overtime to the Saints. It was a great game despite the fact that my team lost. Depressing. Oh well. Super Bowl is coming up in a couple weeks and it is between the Saints and the Colts. I really don't care who wins that much. But since in this world we usually have to pick a team, I choose the Colts. Can't go wrong with a team that shares its name with my son COLTon. So, GO COLTS. Maybe I can convince my hubby to take me to Vegas for the cool Superbowl parties on Fremont Street. We did that once, and had a blast! And we rode roller coasters and had yummy food. (Ever try a deep fried Oreo, oh man, so bad for my diet but one of the best things in the world!) So, maybe I will go get me one of those big cups in the shape of footballs and have some Margaritas, with a double shot of alcohol...whoopee!

I want to write about something serious right now. Unfortunately, there is so much to write about. There is so much to think about in this world. Disasters, politics, poverty, gender issues, if the Jazz can make the playoffs. I can't wrap my mind around anything right now cause I am tired. So in a couple of days I will try to come up with something that stimulates thought, or maybe even riles anger like my Gun post did. Maybe I will write about THAT! You wouldn't believe the correspondence I have gotten from people on both sides over my opinion. If you have something that you would like me to share my thoughts on, let me know.

I want to mention that some friends and I found that we are gunning for the same fitness goals. So much so we started a group on Facebook called "Lose It!" It is a group that we hope to inspire, encourage and challenge each other to feeling better about ourselves. Most of us are on there for a weight loss help, but there are 1 or 2 that just want to get and stay healthy. If you are going for those goals and want a little bit of a 'cheering' section, let me know and I will send you an invite to the group. Of course you have to be on Facebook.

With that I will say goodnight. :o)

My first blog

2010-01-21T09:34:00.003-07:00

So I have forgotten that on my Myspace, which I hardly go to anymore, is where I used to blog. So, if you are at all interested in my life from January 2007 until May 2009 (when I started THIS blog) I have opened it up to public view. I had forgotten a lot of things and it was interesting for me to see what my life was like! http://blogs.myspace.com/desertgirl77

Tova

2010-01-20T19:15:00.005-07:00

I have nothing exciting that I want to write about at the moment. I thought about politics again, but nah, not in the mood. So you all get to read about my super cool doggy. I wanted a dog a few years ago. I love dogs more than any other pet and I was chomping at the bit to get one. I really am not peculiar about breeds however I refuse to pay money to buy a dog. I will pay an adoption fee and such from a shelter or rescue group but it seems ridiculous to me to pay a butt load of money for a dog when you can get a similar mutt for free or next to nothing. Tom, on the other hand, seems to be picky. His dream dog is an English Mastiff, that my friend and her mom breed. She will cut us a deal but still, its paying quite a bit for a dog with an expected lifespan of ten years. Uh, not at this moment, thanks. They did mention that if they had one that was a runt that they couldn't get rid of it was ours free and clear. So there is a shot! In January 2005 I had mentioned that my friend was breeding her border collie and she said I could have one. Tom quickly rebuffed, "You aren't getting no border collie" to which I replied, "Hey, you get your dog, I get mine! I want a dog!" He couldn't really argue with that. One day he was looking at dog breeds on the Internet. He had seen an ad for a dog and wanted to know if it is what he thought it was. Ok. He kept mentioning this dog that was free in the paper. He then later in the evening said, "Why don't you call and see if this dog is still available." I got irritated cause he was bringing up the dog again. I said, "What is it with you and this dog?!?!?" He said, "I DON'T want a border collie, you don't care about breeds but I do and I don't want to come home to a border collie. If I arrange this dog for you, you will have your dog and that will be the end of it!" Alrighty then. So we went that night and looked at the dog. We fell in love immediately. He is a Samoyed. A dog I have never heard of. But one of the prettiest dogs I have ever seen. We ended up taking him home that night. We haven't ever regretted that decision. He is the friendliest thing you ever saw. He LOVES kids and will let them crawl all over them. I never have to worry about him biting a strange child for pulling hair or bothering him when he is eating. I love this dog. My biggest complaint however, besides the shedding issue, is that I thought he was the biggest wuss on the planet. I wanted a dog for some protection for our home, he didn't fit that job description. And he likes to run. If he gets out he shoots out of that gate like nothing else! Samoyed's are bred to be sled dogs, well, that definitely set in him! The other day he got out. I was here alone with the kids and Tom had my car. Well, I went running after him. Cool cause I had missed my workout! Look at the bright side huh? After chasing him for probably 20 minutes I caught up to him playing with three other dogs. One of those dogs is considered vicious. He will bite. His owner came out and kept warning me to stay on the perimeter of his extension leash. OK. Well I got up to Tova and the mean dog lunged at me. I was out of reach, but Tova didn't like it one bit. I don't know if it was cause he thought I was in danger or what but Tova went crazy on this dog. I actually saw Tova attack something. And he went for the neck and had that dog pinned to the ground. I was STUNNED. The owner and I broke them up and I took him home. Proud that my dog can in fact kick some hiney. He really is awesome, and while he is really the family dog, in truth he is all mine. Thanks honey, you did good on this one!

"I have a dream....."

2010-01-18T13:14:00.008-07:00

I was going to write today about the disgust I am beginning to feel for where our country is going. Then I started thinking about how today is Dr. Martin Luther Kings birthday. Today is a day about human rights and equality for all people. He was an inspiration to people of all races. An icon that reminds us that love and action can get you a lot further than hatred and ignorance. So in honor of MLK day, I decided to post a video of his speech given on August 28, 1963. I have read and heard this speech frequently, kinda happens when you are in numerous Political Science courses and a Sociology major! Now this is the WHOLE speech, which is long. I would hope that you listen every word and reflect on them.
This is a link to youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEMXaTktUfA

My Teams.

2010-01-17T15:03:00.007-07:00

Football season is coming to a close, the playoffs are underway. I am so thrilled that the Vikings are moving forward. They just beat the Cowboys and next week they will play the Saints for NFC championship. While I am basking in the glory of a Vikings ass handing to the Cowboys, I am a bit frightened about next week. Saints are having a great season. I guess I should be happy that the Vikings are doing so well and are making it far, but I would love it if just ONE of my teams played in the Superbowl. And since my #1 team, the Broncos are way out of the running I am putting on my Vikings gear and showing some love to my Minnesota roots. (Grandpa is from there.) I usually have a family get together at my Mom's for the Superbowl for my birthday. Really, a Superbowl party, Football has always ruled my family's life! Tho, I opt to not celebrate any more birthdays, they keep coming, so I drag my feet and put on a fake smile...."here's to one more year!" UGH! Anyway, back to football. I am seriously hoping and praying that the Vikings can pull out a win next time and make it to the Superbowl. What a cool gift that would be. (That and my tattoo! Come on Dad, I am waiting!)

The end of football will mean that I can now focus on the Utah Jazz. I love basketball, it is a close second to football in my book. My friend, Asia, says I must have a thing for big black men. HAHA. I enjoy watching and playing basketball. Always loved it. Being in Utah, it is easy to be a Jazz fan. Of course I have met more than once many of the team members. My favorite has been meeting Karl Malone - The Mail Man. And getting a chance encounter with John Stockton was awesome. They are seventh in the western conference right now. Not bad, not really good, but they still have a slight chance in the finals. OK, STOP LAUGHING! I know, I know, my teams aren't exactly the dream teams of the sports world, but I am loyal. They have their ups and downs and I bask in the glory of a winning season, and endure the scorn and laughter of those around me in their bad seasons. But I never give up!

Also NASCAR is about to start in Daytona next month. My driver is Kasey Kahne. I was a fan of Dale Earnhardt Sr. Of course he is now Dead. It took me a while to focus on a new driver. Some said that I should turn my attention to his son. No thanks, not really a huge fan of his. I decided to find a younger guy that will be around for a while.

So how can I go wrong with a young man, with great eyes BTW, who is pretty good at what he does, drives a DODGE and is sponsored by Budweiser? Cool thing about that is my husband works for Coca-Cola here in Cedar and they also distribute Anheuser-Busch. I get well supplied with items that sometimes have him on it!

So there is my sports takes for the moment. I hope it clears up the confusion of where my loyalties lie. I am the sports nut in our house. Tom will watch it with me, thank goodness he is supportive and I was able to bring him over to my side away from the Steelers! Tho once in a while he says to me, "Honey, Its just a game!" To which I have to tell him to, "Shut up and get out of this house!" I think he just says that to irritate me.

Back to the fun stuff

2010-01-15T14:07:00.004-07:00

I am pretty happy with what I have lost so far in regards to my weight loss. I have slacked off a bit thanks to the holidays and wedding and all that. Happily tho I have not gained a single pound. (Sadly I haven't lost much either) I am happy to say that I am down 31 pounds. I am about half way there! YAY! I have jeans that used to be too tight to wear that are now way too big. That is a great feeling. Jeans that I haven't been able to fit into in years are now comfortable. Even while at the wedding in Idaho, I got complimented many times over at how thin I am getting. That was very inspiring. When I got home and showed hubby pics of the wedding, he looked at the one of me holding Erika and said to our kids, "Mommy is HOT!" HAHA! ('bout damn time he noticed that his wife is hot! ;oP) Since my goal is set to be reached before memorial day, I now need to kick it back in gear. I have reset my Calorie Counter to make sure that goal is reached. I am still doing my hip-hop abs, mostly cause I like watching Shawn T, very nice, and I don't want to disappoint him! Yea, I know I am married, doesn't mean I am DEAD! The kids also gave me a mountain bike for Christmas, and while it is a bit chilly to do that, I can't wait to take it out into the hills and explore the area around me. Good thing I live out in the country! My son can't wait to go riding with Mom. So here goes the second half of my weight loss goals. It isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Since I don't really diet, I just make sure to make what I eat count since I have a limit to the amount I can eat. It is really a lifestyle choice than a diet that will end eventually. I don't intend to hit my goals and then give up on it. I don't work this hard at getting rid of this ugly fat just to let it all come back. Thanks for all the supportive messages from those that send them to me. You have no idea how much it helps to find out that people are in fact noticing the change in me.

Earthquake

2010-01-13T21:29:00.005-07:00

A magnitude 7 earthquake has hit Port-au-Prince, Haiti. It has literally flattened most of an entire city in what is arguably the poorest nation in the western hemisphere. There is an estimated hundreds of thousands of people dead. All of a sudden my problems seem so small and ridiculous. Really, I don't have very many big problems, but now they really seem insignificant. I can't imagine how frightened and helpless the people of Haiti are feeling right now. I have experienced a few earthquakes in my life, the largest being a 5.9 on my mom's 40th birthday. And I had a 4.1 as recently as last week. Sadly I didn't even notice it, thought it was a big military jet from Nellis! That is nothing compared to what happened yesterday. I would imagine a lot of the damage to the infrastructure is due to the fact that they are such a poor country and things are not built as strong as they are here. I think this can serve as a reminder to us all that things may seem to get bad sometimes, but remember it could always get a lot worse.

"Bodies were everywhere in Port-au-Prince; those of tiny children adjacent to schools; women in the rubble-strewn streets with stunned expressions frozen on their faces; men hidden beneath plastic tarps and cotton sheets" -AP

Idaho Trip

2010-01-10T20:23:00.008-07:00

I had an amazing time this weekend. My Mom and I traveled up to Idaho for my cousin, Brei's wedding. I will try to do a quick walk thru for inquiring minds. We headed up on Thursday and hung out with family. I had never met the fiance Ben, but right off the bat I knew I loved him. So sweet and lots of fun. And he loves the Broncos so he will fit into this family quite easily. We just got to know him and caught up with the rest of the family. The next day, Friday was busy making strategic plans for everyone. Get the last minute details and try to have fun with it. In the morning, Mom and I were able to sneak over to my old friend Jennifer's house to see her and her baby Aiden. Jennifer is like a sister to me. I love her a lot! My mom has even laid claim to the Grandma title and wears it proudly! We stayed for a little while and then went around gathering last minute details for the wedding, snuck to a scrapbook store and then we went to the rehearsal dinner for an amazing Italian feast. It was so neat to have a great dinner and talk with family. After all was said and done, the waiter came and serenaded the happy couple. SOOO sweet! Afterwards we went to my Uncles house and hung out getting our assignments for the next day and I played with their newfoundland Ryka. HUGE dog, but super sweet. The next day was THE big day. I hadn't been able to see Jennifers hubby, Brandon, the day before and they had wanted to get together again before we left. (And OK so did I.) My Mom had things to do so Jen and Brandon came by the hotel and picked me up. We went to a rise and dine sort of place and I got to chit chat and trade smart ass tirades with Brandon. After that they took me to my Uncles house and then we went to the hotel to get ready. OK, it may seem like too much info but really, this kind of crap only happens to me. I needed to shave my legs for the dress I was wearing that evening. I get into the bathroom, lather up and start shaving. Damn if the power didn't go out. I am alone in a hotel room bathroom...no windows, door shut...all foamed up, UGH! I manage to get the door open, open a window to let SOME light in and finish my work without nicking myself. My Mom and I were in charge of picking up the wedding cake and some flowers and getting them over to the venue. All I can say is thank the Good Lord above for GPS. We managed to find the place in an old building in down town Boise. It was gorgeous. My cousins daughter Ericka became my best buddy. She and I hung out after she hit her head and I was there to comfort her. She wouldn't let me leave her lol. To make her happy we snapped pics of ourselves. She was such a princess and so sweet. We went through the wedding and it was beautiful. It is awesome to see two people come together like that when they are so much in love. I wish them all the best. The next day was time to come home and so Mom and I made the long trip home. I am now exhausted but glad to be home to my babies. Tom is glad to see me. He called me to see when I would be back. "I need a break" Yeah well, honey, WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

Jenny

2010-01-04T14:12:00.004-07:00

I got a pretty sad notice in my facebook inbox last night. It said that my friend, Jennifer Green Lilienthal had passed away due to liver cancer. Her husband had logged into her account and sent me a message telling me. It surprisingly sent me into a flood of tears thinking about how she was my age, not really that old, and such a sweet person. We were just notified within the past month that there were some tumors, but it was nothing to worry about. Apparently someone was wrong. This just all happened so quickly. Jen was one of those 'special' people if you know what I mean. I hate to use the word handicapped or retarded. There is such a negative connotation that goes with those words. Words are important to me. Anyway, I knew her in high school and she was the sweetest person you could ever meet. She definitely loved people. If you became her friend, you were a friend for life. She was ALWAYS sending me emails and popping up on my chats. She loved the Denver Broncos....YES!!...so we always had something to talk about. If there was something bothering me she would encourage me and remind me that things could always get worse. She was in my corner cheering me on during the good times and helping me thru the bad. There were so many people that hurt her. It always broke my heart. However, she never let that stop her from being the caring woman that she was. I believe she is now flying with the angels where she belongs. No one can hurt her and she isn't limited by her problems.

There seems to be quite a few of my former school mates that have passed on. It is a bit alarming. I know people die, but every few months I open the newspapers obituary page and see people that I knew in school. Some I knew better than others. A few stick out, such as Yale Abernathy. He died over ten years ago, but he was such an amazingly, talented guy and a wonderful friend. This world lost a lot when he passed. I miss him.

Just a reminder to always let those that you care about, know that you care about them. Words mean a lot. Don't let pride stop you from saying "I'm sorry" when you hurt someone, and don't forget to make the people that you love feel special. You never know if it is the last time you will ever talk to them again. I am grateful that the last chat I had with Jen was a good one. All about our Broncos. Rest In Peace my dear friend. I look forward to seeing you on the other side.

Cemetaries

2010-01-02T13:24:00.005-07:00

I am fascinated by cemeteries. I find it really interesting. If I see a graveyard I am tempted to stop and take a look. Sounds kinda morbid I know. Something about seeing a persons final resting place is a habit for me. I like to read headstones which by the pictures and words engraved on them, can tell you a lot about the life they lead. Their likes, beliefs and family. I am also a member of findagrave.com. It is a website which will link you to almost any cemetery in America, and some overseas. You can see pics of a lot of headstones. Many of my loved ones and friends are there. It is almost like a virtual cemetery. Some will have their obituaries on there. You can also leave a sort of virtual flower and message on each one. They also have photos of thousands of famous and historical grave sites. I have seen everyone from Marilyn Monroe to Martin Luther. I also on occasion will go take pictures of headstones for the site. I guess we all have our quirks. This is one of my many. Cemeteries don't frighten or sadden me as they do some people. I find people exciting, dead or alive.

New Year

2009-12-31T20:12:00.002-07:00

It is already 2010 tomorrow? Wow this year has flown by! I have had my ups and downs. Downs? My baby having seizures and spending a few days in the hospital was my main low. That along with many other little things sent me into a deep depression. Ups? My baby is fine thanks to great doctors and the help of God. Kids are thriving in school, Tom is doing well in his shooting and work and I have been having fun. I have met up with some people from my past that I never thought I would ever hear from again. And I weigh almost 40 lbs less than I did a year ago. Overall it has been a good year. I am hopeful that next year is even better.

I hate the word resolutions. So I don't use it. I prefer to use the word goals. I figure it is time for me to list what I want to accomplish in 2010.

#1. I want to continue my fitness regimen and reach my previous set goals by June. I am serious when I say I want to look hot in a bikini at the lake. It is doable!

#2 I want to better manage my finances and be more secure.

#3 I want to spend more time outside. Up in the mountains or on the rocks, just anywhere being active.

#4 I want to take more pictures of my life. My family, my home, my adventures.

#5 Keep up on my blog. A MINIMUM of once a week.

So there you have my goals for the year. They seem simple enough but a little challenge. I hope next year I am writing this blog and saying that I have made all of them happen.

Happy New Year to you all. I hope you all get what you want and need out of life. Love to all!

Dad's

2009-12-28T19:23:00.003-07:00

I was listening to the radio in the car today and a commercial came on that I had heard many times before. It is for the National Fatherhood Initiative, or www.fatherhood.org. It has a bunch of kids standing around bragging about what amazing things their fathers can do. I love that commercial. There is something so sweet about kids, especially little boys, bragging about their Dads. Listening to my 8 year-old talk about his Dad, is something that always makes me smile. So much love and admiration. He loves spending time with him, and tries so hard to be like him. I really admire the Dad's out there that take time for their kids. Even Step-Dads who don't have to, but as the Brad Paisley song says, "I hope I'm at least half the man that he didn't have to be." I realize how lucky I am that the Father of my kids is so involved. I know too many who don't have anything more to do with their kids then mailing a child support check each month. Tom is always playing with them. He is a big kid really. He loves the video games, loves to go out exploring with the kids and catching lizards and snakes, and is there as often as he can be for school functions and meetings. I recall one time where parents were invited into Dylan's class to help with gingerbread houses. I called Tom to see if he could be home in time so that I could go, and he called me back and said, "I think I want to go help Dylan if that is OK" Of course it was. So Tom and Dylan made an alien gingerbread house. Things like that stick with kids. Tom is always doing something with one of them it seems. He will play dolls with Chloe, takes a real man to willingly do that, and building blocks with Colton. He has never hesitated to change a diaper and if I have had a rough day, would get up in the middle of the night to feed a crying baby. I am so grateful for him being such an amazing Dad. I also know that if something were to happen and we were no longer together that he would be just as involved as he is now. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his kids. I know there are so many Dads out there that are like that. If you are one of them, I want you to know how much us Mom's appreciate it. It takes a real man to actually be a "DADDY" to his kids. To tell you the truth, there is also something quite "sexy" about it. There is that cliche about men using babies to catch women. And guess what? It is true! It shows a sensitivity and a true manliness to us females, so keep it up cause it will probably work! ;o)

Anyway, to all you fathers out there who make time for your kids, keep it up. You are making a very vital and great impression on your kids.

Great Christmas!

2009-12-26T12:19:00.003-07:00

Another Christmas has come and gone. And this year it was wonderful. The past two years stunk to high heaven. This year was fun. To recap, two years ago was awful because I had lost my Uncle and my Grandfather within two weeks of each other. Last year I spent praying to the porcelain god. I was hoping for a great year this time and it was. I was up until 3 am Christmas morning, running interference to excited children. I must admit, there was something sweet about it. I woke up at 6 just in time for my folks to appear. They like to come up and see the kids get their Santa gifts. After hanging out and watching the kids play on the new Wii, my folks headed home and we went to Toms parents house for Christmas breakfast. It was neat seeing everyone. The day I got married I inherited a huge family. I have nephews who are almost my age! I also have great-nieces and great-nephews, so with everyone there at once, it was quite busy. It was neat! After a while we headed down to St. George for Christmas dinner with my parents. Whitni came over and we opened some more gifts with them. We then had a wonderful dinner and hung out some more and then headed home. Needless to say that going on such a small amount of sleep I was exhausted. Couple that with running around with three kids and their excitement, I was ready to drop. As soon as we got the kids wound down, I hit the hay and ZONKED! Today we are being lazy and not doing much, just enjoying watching our offspring play. As far as my gifts go, I got some nice things. I am a pretty happy camper as far as that goes. I don't want to brag, so if you want know 'what' I got, send me a message and I will tell you. Things aren't really what is important as remembering that Jesus is the reason for the season! (But they are fun...) I hope everyone reading this had a wonderful day just as I did. I hope your new year brings you peace and happiness. And as a Christian I would like to add a reminder of what it is I am celebrating;

Luke 2:9-12

And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. (10) And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. (11) For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. (12) And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.”

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-23T23:01:00.005-07:00

I don't know what the next couple of days will bring so I decided to write my Christmas hello, today, 2 days before Christmas. While Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, my favorite day is actually Christmas Eve. I love the excitement in the air, and the way it seems we can all take a deep breath at the end of it. My kids make it even better. How excited they are. While of course they are getting gifts and such, we have decided to take it easy and not go too nuts on the gift thing. We have been trying to get them to focus more on the reason we celebrate Christmas. The birth of Jesus. The kids think it is neat that Jesus is sharing his birthday "party" with us. I know that December 25th was unlikely to be his actual birthday, my kids are way too young to understand that. I am more focused on creating traditions and memories than buying things.

Today, I had a few more loose ends to tie up so I took the little'uns and headed to St. George. I ran the few errands I had left and then went to the folks' where we headed off to dinner. Colton has now learned the fine art of straw wrapper blowing! I am so proud! We then went and looked at some lights, why is it the LED lights annoy me and hurt my eyes? But they were pretty. Then we went to the mall and met up with Santa Clause. HAHA! Coltons first experience with the big red guy. And it went as expected. This first pic is blurry because Colton had sticky hands and grabbed the lens. Then I cleaned it off and as you can tell, Colton STILL wasn't impressed.

OK, well, that makes for a perfect pic don't you think? Then the other two went on and on about their wish lists. Well Santa asked them if their rooms were clean and they told him no. He then told them that if their rooms weren't clean by the time he got there, he wasn't going to leave them any toys!

Thank-you St.Nick! Tom and I aren't holding our breath tho, but the looks on their faces was classic! We then hung out with grandparents for a while and then I came home. The kids were sleeping by the time I got back to town so I snuck up to the Griswold house and snapped some pics. Here is one but it doesn't do the house justice!

I am not kidding when I say, I got out to take the pic and the house was just radiating so much heat! He was starting to turn them off for the evening, but you get the idea.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you all have a wonderful season wherever you are. HO!HO!HO!

Christmas is almost here!

2009-12-20T21:07:00.002-07:00

I have been battling a cold all day. One of those really nasty ones that makes your head throb. But, I will survive. After all it is just a cold right? Thanks honey! ;o) I have been holed up in my house doing absolutely nothing all day. I really hate days like this. I hate feeling like I have done absolutely nothing all day. After watching the Broncos lose to the raiders of all people, even if it is only by one point, I was pretty depressed. Tom was off teaching a gun class and I just had to get out. So, I loaded up the kiddos and went for a drive to look at Christmas lights. It was a nice evening. Clear and perfect. There is one house here that puts the Griswolds to shame. Every year we make the trek up to this house on the hill. You can see the glow from blocks away. This guy has every inch of his house and yard covered in some sort of decoration. I remember reading in the local paper once that he has to start getting the lights up in October. There is always a traffic jam in front of his house. Gotta love spirit like that! I forgot my camera, but I will take some pics and show them hopefully on Christmas Eve. It is insane what this guy does. All three of my kids said, "WOW!" when we pulled up. I came down off of the hill and went driving around neighborhoods. I saw one house that was pretty deco'd out. I slowed down in front so kids could see. I noticed some signs saying, "More in back, feel free to walk through" How fun! I pulled over, and got the kids out. It was really cool. All around the house were displays and lights. I made a mental note that we are definitely taking Tom to this. Then I came home and watched the Vikings game. That SUCKED big time. They got it handed to them. UGH! Not a good day for my football teams.

Skeeter Skitty

2009-12-17T16:14:00.007-07:00

This is a shout out to where I live and the surrounding areas. I love it here, and it would be very hard to get me to leave willingly. All of these areas are really close to where I live. It is wonderful living in such a beautiful part of God's great world!
...Downtown Cedar City.

..Zion

.Bryce.Cedar Breaks.

Grand Canyon UROC at the rock climbs at Three Peaks and this is just down the road from me, how cool is that? There are other groups that go out there and do it, can't remember the names tho...oops!

I do love it here. It is still a small town with all of that security. But it has a lot of things the bigger towns have to make life convenient. Southern Utah University is here. (And no it isn't just a small community college, like some people think. You know who you are.) The Shakespearean festival is Tony award winning. The people are great, it is a wonderful place to raise a family. If I need to get away, I can be in Vegas or Salt Lake quite quickly and easily if I want to. And to think, just ten years ago, I couldn't wait to get out of here.

Gratitude

2009-12-15T11:40:00.002-07:00

As a Mom, I struggle sometimes trying to balance the line between wanting to make my kids happy by giving them everything they want and not spoiling them. Well, I don't have to worry about spoiling them. They have Grandparents for that. But yes, I would like to give them whatever it is they want. Of course, I cannot afford that. I also know that they don't need to be given everything. They need to be happy and grateful for what they have. I have been trying hard to make them realize how lucky they are. Besides the disgusting amount of toys, they have parents who love them, Grandparents that adore them and a massive amount of family and friends who think the world of them. My friends and Toms friends all care a lot too. We do the typical, "Starving kids in Africa" bit when they don't want to eat what they are given. We try to get them to give their toys and clothes that they have grown out of to charity. Recently on a trip to the store, the Salvation Army was out ringing their bells. I thought, "This might be a good chance to see if they understand what we have been trying to tell them." Before we got out of the car I looked at Chloe and Dylan. I said, "You see those people ringing the bells? They are trying to collect money so that they can give help to people who are struggling. They don't have food, or clothes and a lot of the kids don't have toys." They peered over at them. I then handed them each a couple dollars and said, "Here is some money. You can buy a treat, play in the game room, or you can give it to those people and put it in the red kettle." We got out of the car and walked up to the front. I was so pleased that they both, without hesitation, put their money in the kettle. I was pretty proud of them and then Dylan told the bell ringer, "Merry Christmas!" Of course Chloe had to say it too. I was even happier when yesterday Dylan asked if they could take the money they have been saving and give it to the people at the store so that they can buy food for people. Moments like that make me think that I may be doing a thing or two right.

Hair

2009-12-12T20:41:00.014-07:00

Last night, I wanted to calm down a little so I hit the liquor cabinet. Due to the fact that I don't drink that often I should have stopped early. After having a few I noticed a box of hair dye I had gotten to touch up my hair. Bright idea! Drink enough alcohol to where you can barely put a full sentence together and then dye your hair! Well, I don't recall the details but I do remember thinking, "I don't want to mess with the roots, lets do the whole thing!" So I slather on a whole bottle of bleach blond hair color and then leave it on for a half an hour. I go wash it out, dry it and don't really look at it. Get up this morning and walk out to greet the hubby who stops dead in his tracks. "Your hair. Its....(chuckle) white!" Remembering what I had done the night before I go in and see that my hair is in fact, white. I have spent all darn day trying to get used to it. It isn't working. I decide to snap some pics to show off to the world, nothing like a little humiliation. But trust me these pics aren't even touching how overly processed my hair is. Ugh. I ask Tom, "Why did you let me do this?!?!?!" He laughs and says, "Like I have any control over ANYTHING you do!"
Getting the the courage to even take these pictures took a couple more drinks, but I did it, to make my 'friends' happy. While in the bathroom snapping the pics I was frustrated cause I look like hell! I look like a bargain basement hooker! Maybe I should go walk Hollywood BLVD!!! UGH. My kids found me and insisted that they wanted to be in some pics too. So, here we all are. First of course is me and Chloe, I look like a total ice princess but whatever. Anything to make my kiddos happy right?

Well after Chloe snapped a bunch with me, Dylan showed up. I had gotten after him over something totally boyish that he did, but trust me it was disgusting. So he was mad and crying. But he is still such a handsome little man. And then finally we have Mr. Colton who loves the camera. And I think the camera loves him back. so there, you all have the story of me and my idiotic attempt at hair coloring. You can all stop laughing now. I look CHEAP!! ;o)

Choca Mewlk and cackas!

2009-12-11T11:29:00.006-07:00

I was in the laundry room doing laundry when I noticed our cat and dog who were wrestling had knocked over the baby gate leading into the kitchen. "Oh well, I can fix it when I am done here." Unfortunately I didn't notice my little monster had gone in there and found the chocolate milk powder and a box of crackers and dug in! This is in addition to the juice in his bottle. Yuck! It wouldn't be so bad but I had just finished scrubbing my floor. But I walked in and he said in an enthusiastic voice..."HI MOM!" I had to laugh. How can I get angry with that? So I brought out the camera and snapped some photos. Of course Colton is such a ham and had to yell "Cheese!" I swear, I am still chuckling. kids are the greatest. I am so glad I have them.

People

2009-12-09T22:41:00.002-07:00

Today I went to the store, and then got in line to check out. It was quite busy so I knew no matter what I was going to be there awhile. I ended up behind a very fat family. Not trying to be judgemental but all 4 of them were HUGE. I glanced at their cart and all I could see were frozen-foods, meals in a box and other processed items. I thought to myself 'no wonder.' No where was there to be found fresh veggies or fruit or even basics such as flour to make things at home from scratch. I tried to justify it by thinking that maybe they have those items already or they were going somewhere else. Give them the benefit of the doubt. I decided to quit gawking and try to look somewhere else. The Mom then started up a conversation with me. She said they would probably be done with all of that within 3 days. And their cart was practically busting at the seams. She told me that she would like to eat better but it is too hard and expensive to cook from scratch when you can get a totinos pizza for 1.25. And there are coupons! I just smiled and said that I liked to cook from scratch as much as I can, it is something I love to do. I just kept thinking that she was nuts and that she was killing her kids. Yea the easy stuff may be cheaper but the benefits to spending a little more are much, MUCH better. I don't know why I am even talking about this. Probably because it has stuck with me all evening. I am by no means the picture of health at the moment, even tho I am getting there..hehe. But even in my fattest of times, I was eating a lot better than that. I ate and still do eat a lot of fresh veggies and fruit. (I LOATHE cooked vegetables.) I love to cook and make as much as I can from scratch. Lucky for the hubby! And yes, I buy the junk once in a while but for the most part I try to make sure what we eat is beneficial to us. I just had to say something, that's what blogs are for right?

Do you have songs that mean something to you? Music that reminds you of a certain time, person, place, event? I do. I have lots of them. Songs that when they come on the radio I think of whatever it is that is connected in my head to that song. Even Christmas songs have a meaning or two to me. "The Little Drummer Boy" and "Do you hear what I hear" remind me of road trips to Wyoming for Christmas because I remember hearing those songs. "Up on the Housetop" and "Silver Bells" remind me of when I was a kid at Washington Elementary. "Away in a Manger" and "Silent Night" remind me of my Church Christmas pageants. But the one that has the most affect on me is "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing." When I was a kid our Sunday School would go caroling every year to the home bound church members and those in the care center. While at the care center we were visiting Jim Stallsmith. He was very sick and just looked so painful. We sang that song to him and his roommate. In the middle of the song Jims wife, Marion, got up and a slew of nurses came running in. We were told to get out immediately. We all filed out of the room and a few minutes later a lady that was escorting our caroling group came around the corner and told us that he had died. He had died in the middle of us singing! As a kid, it doesn't matter what people say to make you feel better, it freaks you out! To this day, whenever I hear that song, I think of Jim in that bed. That image is still as clear as the day we went there. Talk about traumatizing!

BZZZ!

2009-12-08T12:11:00.006-07:00

So, my blond moment for this week. (This will make you wonder how I managed to even make it thru high school, let alone college!) Frightening thing is that this really happened, and if I really want to make the hubby laugh all I do is bring it up! (This or I remind him of the time he was talking to me and I rolled over and right off the bed.) My TV was on the fritz and me being the super-mom had to get it working! I noticed that the cable plug was dirty. Without thinking, I ahem...licked the end of the cable. (Yes the metal part. ) It was a 'shocking' experience. All I can say is kids, don't try this at home. And a pic that I am sure most of you have seen, how pumpkin pies are really made:

Mommy Love

2009-12-05T18:21:00.011-07:00

Is there anything better than spending fun time with your kids? I know I complain sometimes but the truth is, for me there is nothing in the world that compares to them. Today we baked chocolate chip cookies, sang songs together, played outside, browsed the aisles at Wal-Mart for gift ideas and then had fun with my camera. Such simple things that mean the world to me. I want them to remember their childhood like that. As a Mom I question my capabilities and every decision I make. I wonder sometimes if God made the right choice giving me these wonderful creatures. Sure that some of you other parents out there feel the same way. What brought on this sappy sweet post from a woman that doesn't have a lot of sensitivity in her? Just what I said before. The simple joys we experienced together. Melts even my heart, and when your child looks at you and says, "You are so much fun Mom! I love you!" Well there you go. (Still would like to duct-tape them sometimes.) I didn't intend to be in any pictures but I had told my kids that they could snap some pics, but I ended up being the main subject. Of course I am critical of how I look but even I have to admit that these turned out decent. Just wished I would have fixed myself up a bit. But what do you do right? On a sad note, my Great-Uncle Les is on deaths door it seems. He is the last one alive out of my Grandpas siblings. I don't know him that well, but it is still sad to think an entire generation of Herruds are gone. I did talk to him the Christmas of 2007 right after my Grandfather died, (two year anniversary of his death tomorrow,) he sounded so much like my Grandpa that it kind of creeped me out! Hopefully it happens easy for Les.

Ho!Ho!Ho!

2009-12-04T18:22:00.015-07:00

Ah Christmas time is upon us and I have FINALLY got all my decos up, well those that will go up this year. I got my lights on and garland, then I had to wait for my kids to get home from school because I pinky swore, knuckle punched that I would let them put the ornaments on. They didn't do too bad. They did ask (more like demand) for some Christmas music and so I took my new Eric Dodge Christmas CD and popped it in the player. It is an awesome CD and I couldn't help but sing along. Good thing that no one was around! Here is a pic of them next to their finished product! You can't really see the ornaments, but there are a ton of them on there. I actually have a 'theme' to it. I love anything rustic. So there are a ton of moose, bear, fish(ing), cabin items. On top of that to add to the outdoorsy theme, I bought a lot of the wreath pics that were on sale really cheap and then simply attached them to my tree. So

there are pine cones, berries and such on there too. It really does look awesome in person. I normally don't put color lights but every year I catch it from hubby and kids cause I never do them anymore. So, this year I found a couple of strings of those bulb color lights and threw them on. Now everyone is happy and it does look kind neat with both the white and colors.

Then there is my favorite part of my Christmas decos, my village. I don't have a LOT of houses, but it is perfect for the top of my piano. (Yeah right in front of my wedding display photos). I just love villages because they look so old fashioned. I love things that take me back to a simpler time. There is just something about it that makes me smile.

I know that I said this last year, but I am going to try one more time, I am going to have a good Christmas. The last two years SUCKED last year we were all sick, I mean REALLY sick, and then the power went out. The year before that my uncle and my Grandpa died. So that was no fun. This year is going to be my year dang it!

Christmas lights suck

2009-12-03T20:16:00.003-07:00

OK , yeah, I know that is a catchy title, but I will explain later. First off I want to let those of you that were asking know, what happened at the meeting we had with the specialists at Dylan's school. It was a meeting with two specialists, Dylan's teacher (Mrs. Miller) and us. We were shown some assessments done of Dylan and I was pleasantly surprised to see that he is scoring either at or above his level in everything. The key is, that he wasn't under any pressure to keep up with other students and take his time. The knowledge is all there but pulling it out of him is the hard part. He is not "disabled" or in need of special education. Whew. But the lady was surprised that I wasn't jumping up and down all excited. I don't want my kid to have special needs, but he needs something and I want to know what. Our game plan now is to give him just a little extra help to keep him on track and take some of the pressure off of him (more time, fewer problems, etc.) Everyone agrees that he will grow into himself and all will be OK. (AND YAY NO AUTISM!!!) Thanks to all of you for your emails and notes of support. I so appreciate it. I need to be reminded that I am not a failure and you keep me feeling positive. Nice to know I have some people who really care and who they are.

As far as the Christmas light thing goes, ugh, I quit putting it off and finally got started on the Decorations today. I have a fake tree but I wasn't smart enough to buy the prelit kind. Two years ago, (cause last year we had a real tree,) I asked the hubby to take the tree out to the garage cause I didn't want to take off the lights and next time I could just plug it in and not have to worry about it. But rather than taking it out the sliding glass door and through the garage door he decided to haul it through our laundry room through the narrow walk way and regular doors into the garage. Of course this knocked off half of the lights and screwed up my tree. MEN! He didn't want to walk through the snow. Well WAAAHH..sheesh. Fast Forward to this Christmas season and I have to untangle and remove all the lights and put them back on. I am meticulous about the lights on my tree, call it OCD. They have to be perfect. So finally, I was dreading this, I undid and redid my tree. (After moving the piano by myself, I am one tough chick!). Took me 2 hours and yes I managed to tangle myself up, but the lights are finally on. I will finish my decorating tomorrow.

Today I was messing around with my play list for this blog. When I was done I found that I had over 60 songs from all over the genre board. I guess I am just indecisive when it comes to music. These are songs I enjoy and/or mean something to me. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always listening to something. I admit there is quite a bit of country, I am a product of where I live I guess. Tends to be what is all over the radio. There are a lot more that I would like to put on here, but unfortunately playlist doesn't have them...yet. If you have any suggestions please shoot them my way. Favorite Song? One you think I would like? One that makes you think of me? Let me know.

Thank-you!!

2009-12-02T13:03:00.005-07:00

I started this blog in May when Colton had his seizures to keep you all updated on his progress. I have kept it going because it is an easy way to let you all know what is going on in my life and my thoughts about various subjects. My counter is now above 3300 hits! That is awesome. It may not seem like much to some, but to a frumpy old unremarkable housewife in Cedar City, Utah like myself it says that there are enough people interested for me to keep it going. I appreciate all of the feedback and discussions that you have given. I get the bulk of my feedback in the form of emails and p.m.. Also reactions are posted on my facebook wall. I love all feedback both from those who agree with me and disagree. Everyone has been respectful. Just so you all know, you do not have to be a registered user to post a comment here. Please feel free to post comments on here to whatever you have an opinion on. You can even be anonymous if you like. Tho, be careful with that, I will delete your post if I feel like you are being outright rude or just plain nasty. I am the first to defend freedom of speech, but even I have limits. I would love to see and be involved with discussions from all sides.

I got a call from the special ed director at Dylan's school. The Autism specialist spent time with Dylan today. The good news is that there is no indication of any kind of Autism. Whew!! He said that Dylan is quite intelligent for his age. Seems, tho, that his problem is his emotional maturity. He barely made the cutoff for school when he was in kindergarten, so he is one of the youngest in his class. They indicated that his maturity level is one grade lower than the grade he is actually in. They all say that he is very smart but gets frustrated. I (and maybe Tom) will be meeting with the school tomorrow to see what we can do. They suggested that when it comes time for the end of level testing, that they will take him to another classroom with only a couple of kids in it and let him take his tests without the pressure of a time limit. He can take as long as he needs. He tends to get upset because he overanalyzes his own work and sees that the other students are finishing a lot quicker than he is. Which makes it worse. We will talk about motivations and what we need to do. I will keep you updated on that.

And to end, I have gotten some website and video references from an old college friend of mine. HeyDave! (sorry but whenever I think of you that is the first thought that comes to mind.) We were discussing them via my facebook wall and email. These media items discuss liberty and where this country is going. I am sorting thru the piles of information that it all has and hopefully I can give my thoughts on them in the next couple of days. I love thought provoking anything, and what he has sent me is definitely that. Thanks Dave!

Silver Minivans

2009-12-01T18:24:00.002-07:00

Yea, two blogs in one day. Just thought I would share with you my blond moment for the week. Still it doesn't top the Me vs Cow incident on Thanksgivings blog, but you should at least get a smile out of this one. I went to the grocery store and did what I needed to do. The bag kid asked if he could help me and I said, "I will be fine, unless you really really want to." He said he would like to get outside for a minute and helped me out. We walk up to the van and I hit the unlock button on my key chain. Nothing. I hit it again. Nothing again. I look inside and it looks like mine. So I insert my key in the lock. The alarm goes off. I hit the off button on my key chain and it doesn't work. The kid that is helping me says, "Ma'am" (DAMMIT I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE CALLED THAT YET!!!) and I look at him as he is pointing at the next aisle over. There, sits another minivan honking. Its mine. (The off button to my alarm is also my panic button) I had managed to try to break in to someones car. By now my helper is laughing uncontrollably, which makes me kind of chuckle too. So we scurry over to mine hoping that no one really notices and load up and I get the hell out of there. The thing that gets me about this? I manage to do this same thing at least every three months. Who knew there were so many silver Dodge Grand Caravans in Cedar City?

Pickle

2009-12-01T12:53:00.003-07:00

Dylan (Pickle) is my 8 year old son. He is one of the sweetest creatures God put on this earth. He is very sensitive, full of imagination, and gives the best hugs in the world. He just wants everyone to be happy. He is struggling in school. It has been this way since Kindergarten. Luckily his school has a lot of resources and people who are trying so hard to figure out how to make his time there better. We (the school and I and Tom) have been trying everything we can think of to help him. He has been tested over and over and over again for a lot of things. One thing they have noticed is that when he can focus, he is at or above his level. Which makes me feel better. Yet he can NOT focus on his work. His teacher practically has to stand behind him and tell him to keep working. Really, she shouldn't have to do that. He goes to reading centers and they all say that when he is one on one with the tutor, he does quite well. If someone else comes into the picture he gets frustrated, just breaks down and gets so upset to the point he sometimes cries. We were hoping that he would grow into himself and get to a place he is comfortable with in his learning and then go from there. It hasn't happened. Now he is in the third grade and we just can't wait any longer.

They are going to test him for high functioning autism. I got that call yesterday. That lady drives me nuts. She is nice and all, but when she talks to me it is like she is talking to a complete imbecile. She kept saying that she was trying to explain things in a way that I might understand. Despite the fact that I kept telling her that I fully understood she kept talking to me like I had the IQ of an eggplant. I gave permission to test, hung up the phone and just started crying. I feel like I should be able to help him, and I am a huge failure as a Mom. It wasn't so much that they are testing him for this it is that they are running MORE tests. I want to help him enjoy school so much and the further we go the more he grows distant from the love of learning that I had hoped my kids would have. And for crying out loud, this is the kind of thing I studied in school! But then if specialists can't pinpoint it, I guess I shouldn't be expected to either.

It is hard for me to get him to do his homework, I know, all kids are that way. But when I sit with him to help him I have to struggle to keep from growing impatient. I can't count how many times I have said, "Dylan, focus" "Dylan keep working" "Dylan sit still" "Dylan come on you are almost done". I have tried everything I can think of to motivate him. We have even gone as far as shutting off our satellite service, so there isn't so much of a distraction for him. That does seem to help.

I am grateful that he does have it in him. All of the specialists have said, "I can tell you, you have one VERY smart little boy." I know I do. I have heard him, when he isn't under pressure, and watched him when he thinks no one is around. I just hope this next test will be his last.

Guns & Freedom

2009-11-30T09:06:00.007-07:00

I was just reading this article sent to me. It is pretty much anti-gun. I figure this is a good topic for discussion. I don't really want to castigate this guy. Among our right to keep and bear arms is that thing called freedom of speech and the press. He is certainly entitled to his opinion. But reading that makes me realize how stupid some people are. I am not a gun fanatic. My husband and his father definitely are. They teach concealed carry classes, hunter safety classes are members of two practical shooting clubs and usually at least once a week they are out at the range or in the 'pits' shooting. I support my husband in this because I have realized the importance of responsible gun ownership and keeping yourself armed and ready.

What the author of the above article doesn't understand is that true gun enthusiasts encourage responsibility, discipline and training when it comes to your firearms. Tom is emphatic about people knowing their gun inside out before carrying. He is also teaching our children from a young age the art of handling a gun. They are learning that they aren't a toy, they are to be respected and how to use them. A couple of other moms can't believe that I 'allow' this. I tell them that they are his kids too, and if they know the responsibility of the gun from an early age, they are less likely to have an accident.

As far as gun control in this country, "my idea of gun control is using both hands" I love that quote. I don't think they anti-gun folk understand that you are in big trouble if you do try to take them away. Law abiding citizens may give them up but criminals don't care about the law anyway so why would they give them up? Then the rest of us are at the mercy of thugs and we can't protect ourselves and our families because a karate chop isn't going to stop a bullet. Some say, "Just call the police." Yea, OK, let me see, an intruder breaks into our home, is threatening us with a weapon, doing God only knows what, and we can just call the police? Not to mention how long will it take to get to wherever you are? I live 10 miles out of town! No thanks, I will call the police to come remove his bullet riddled body from my home. I find great comfort in knowing that Tom and I can protect our family if need be. We aren't chomping at the bit to shoot somebody. That is a last resort for us, but, just try to harm us, you will be sorry.

Nationally, do you understand what it would mean for us as a nation? We would be subject to a tyrannical, socialist government. I believe that knowing that the citizenry of this country are armed, does keep them somewhat at bay. Give them up and you can kiss the rest of your freedoms good-bye. I am dead serious about this. If you value your freedom at all, you will hold on to your weapons.

The article makes references to the shooting at Virginia Tech. He actually said, "What is not a joke is the absurd contention of the NRA gunslingers that if the Virginia Tech students had been armed there would have been far fewer victims." That, my friend, is a bunch of BS. Had even a couple of the students there, been armed, they could have taken out the shooter long before it got to the massive casualty level that it did.

I said this before in another post and I will say it again. We, (Tom and I,) will NEVER give up our guns. We will become outlaws if we have to. "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands." Thank you Charlton Heston!

Christmas in the Country.

2009-11-28T18:22:00.005-07:00

Wow today it seemed like a lot going on. I got up to my bazaar just in time for the big rush of people that came in from the parade down town and Santa showing up. I had to laugh because I had people from yesterday come back and get more. I was glad I had made more of my sold-outs! Guess, what? They sold out again...hehe. One lady came back three times over the course of the day wondering what I had used to make a certain card cause she was trying to copy them. That is cool. Then she said, "I probably shouldn't have said that!" I told her that I was flattered that she liked my cards enough to want to copy them. I sold a bunch of items and looked up to see Tami and Tia, with their Mom and Tia's kids. For those that don't know, Tami and Tia are some of my best friends and I love them like sisters so it was awesome to have them come up. They came cause they wanted to go to a real craft show, not full of commercial items. There were a few booths that sold those things but about 90% of the booths there are home crafters like myself. We all hung out for awhile and they had to leave. Shortly after, Tom showed up with Chloe. Chloe wanted to come up with me and help me so I told Tom that he could bring her up after lunchtime. He fell in love with a knife that the lady at the booth next to me had. It had a real rattlesnake head on it, made by an old Navajo man. Some of you may have gotten a pic text from me showing it. Even I thought it was really cool. But not cool enough to spend 65 dollars on. If you want me to send you a pic on your cell give me your number and I will.

Chloe was so cute at the booth. I don't know why but it seems like I attracted all of the husbands to hang out at mine. They all told the same story, "My wife made me come here, and if I stay here long enough, maybe I won't have to shell out all my money." I would laugh and say, "Sucking the manhood right after you huh?" And they would say, "YES!". Chloe got fed up with this and finally said to one guy, "Are you going to buy my mommies beautiful cards or not?" He couldn't resist my daughters charm and proceeded to purchase some items.

Eric Dodge was there. He is a local country singer with a few Cd's out. He was trying to sell his Christmas music when I told his buddy that I would rather have a regular music CD. While I enjoy some Christmas music, too much and I will start shooting at people from my roof. Eric then came over to my booth and handed me two Cd's. His latest album and his Christmas one. Two very good Cd's for ten bucks! SWEET! Here is a shameless plug. If you haven't heard him, you should. He truly is talented. You can check out his music at www.ericdodge.com . I love to support local music, and he is one I definitely have no problem supporting. And who knows, maybe he will become hugely famous one day and I can say, "I knew him when..."

Manning the booth, talking to forlorn husbands and helping people get their creative juices going was a lot of fun for me. I really enjoyed it. Near the end of the day came the fun part. A lot of us start trading with each other. At the end of my trading I managed to acquire a Minnesota Vikings Kleenex box, a 20 oz vanilla candle, 7 wax blocks for my Scentsy warmer, 4 Tupperware kid cups w/lids, 2 pillows, a bracelet for Chloe, a hair bow for Chloe and some bread. Oh and an invitation to the bar...took a rain check on that one. How cool is that? I mentally added up what I had traded to get these things and it came to about ten dollars in supplies to make what I did. So I feel very accomplished hehe.

There was one moment of uncomfortable. Last year about this time a dog ran into the front fender of my minivan. I had always suspected that I new whose dog it was, but Tom insisted that it wasn't theirs. Well I am friends with the lady of that house and she came by and said hi. I don't know why, it was like I was possessed and I couldn't stop myself from saying, "I think I killed your dog last year!" I told her what had happened and she confirmed that yes it was their dog. I apologized all over the place and told her that we did go back to make sure that it was dead and not suffering. She was so understanding and said, "These things happen, and to tell you the truth I am glad to know that at least you didn't just leave him there suffering, that you made sure he was dead, it wasn't your fault he shouldn't have been out!" And now, I feel so relieved.

All in all, it was a fun day. Although it was snowing hard on the way home. I was OK but the 6 million cars from California and Nevada sure weren't. They hog the road, drive like turtles and seem to slam on their brakes. I understand being cautious and all but that is so stinkin' annoying! They are going to cause more accidents that way.

So there, I completed my once a day for a week blog. I will continue to post but I can't promise daily anymore. Hopefully frequently tho.

Black Friday is complete madness

2009-11-27T19:17:00.004-07:00

Today I started the craft show in Parowan. I had a good time and sold a bunch while seeing some friends I haven't seen in a while. My only complaint is that it was COLD! Tom had to drive up because I forgot something I needed. His buddy was there and the two of them started in on the, "have to come rescue the wife cause she didn't check to make sure everything is there," bit. His wife is a friend of mine and a crafter too and for the moment we took it. Just wait, we will get back at em. Then they sat at my booth and talked guns. I finally kicked them out cause it was becoming a gathering for guys to discuss their weapons. As interesting as it was, it didn't mesh well with the ideals of Stampin' Up! and paper crafts.

There was a lady that I am familiar with selling antiques and refurbished old western style items in the booth next to mine. I don't know where it came from but she kept coming up to me and talking about Obama. I just let her talk for most of the day. But it was getting annoying. She is overall a nice woman, but I finally had to say something when she started in about Obama being a Muslim and wanting to swear on the Koran. I knew what she was getting at but said, "So?" She stared at me with astonishment. She said, "What do you mean 'so?'" I said, "Last time I checked freedom of Religion was still in the Constitution." "So you are OK with him being a Muslim?" I said, "First of all, he attends a Christian Church, Second, I could care less if he really IS a Muslim. I have taken an Islamic Studies class and all you ever hear about are the radicals. Most Muslims are not that way." That shut her up. FINALLY! She did keep talking to me, but mostly about generic things such as what we have been up to over the year, how we spent the Holidays, etc. Other than that, it was a fun day. Problem is that there is a candle booth across from mine. I have to keep reminding myself I am there to make money, not spend it!

Holy Flippin Cow!!!

2009-11-26T19:25:00.007-07:00

So I decided to take a break and go for a walk. I need to work off them turkey calories and get some fresh air. I took Tova up by a field and let him just take me wherever. He was guiding me along a fence just a few feet off the road. I got a text from someone and I had stopped to reply. I had just finished my text when right into my ear I hear a "MOO!" So close I could feel its breath! I think I leaped about 7 and a half feet in the air, not sure didn't measure, and yelled a few choice statements, "Holy #$%! WHAT THE #$)(*????" In my scramble to escape this horrid monster trying to get me, I managed to trip over the leash and land square on my butt. It is dark out here in the country with no street lights, but the moon was out and I had landed facing this stupid animal. Hello Black Angus! I sat there staring at him thinking, "You are about to become hamburger!" When I hear footsteps running behind me. I glance back to find two guys running up asking if I am OK. They had been out on the porch smoking and heard my angry, vulgar tirade. Turns out I somewhat knew one of them, that only makes it worse! I grumbled that yea I was OK, and they asked me what happened. I hesitantly told them. Looked up at them and saw that biting of the lip that you do when you are trying so hard not to break out in hysterical laughter. They help me up and I finally said, "Oh for crying out loud just laugh already!" And they obliged. I just said, "Nice seeing you again Josh, I am going home!" Through their laughter they asked me if I wanted a ride home. Oh what sweet gentlemen. But I said "NO THANKS!" I then came straight home. I told my ever loving husband what had happened. To which, he said, "Oh man and I missed it! Think you could do it again?" Ass hole. Now he is in the other room laughing still, telling my kids, "Go up to Mom, and say MOO! in her ear..." So much love.

So how was your Thanksgiving? Other than my encounter with the over grown pot roast, mine was just as I like it. Uneventful. We went to my in-laws and had dinner with a lot of our nieces and nephews, (and great-nieces and great-nephews, yea I am a great-aunt already to a bunch of kids.) I love the idea behind Thanksgiving. Get together with people you love and have a good meal. Watch some football and drink some beer. It isn't too commercial. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Christmas, especially now that I am a Mom and the magic your kids bring with it is wonderful. But I have to say Thanksgiving is my favorite. Even tho I seem to have bad luck around this holiday. Loved ones dying and me managing to cut my finger tip off. Tomorrow I have my craft show, and I am looking forward to it. If you are in the area of Parowan, come stop by and say hi! Here is my newest creation.

And to end this Thanksgiving day post, I will say thanks to God for all of the wonderful people out there who have touched my life. I am truly blessed to have such a great family and wonderful friends, LOVE YOU ALL! Now excuse me while I go ice my hiney.....

College Daze

2009-11-25T20:29:00.006-07:00

Ever since I took that glance at my transcript from college, I have been thinking A LOT about my college career. It seems so long ago, but then again, it doesn't. College came easy for me. It was a lot of fun too. Well the activities outside of the classroom were fun. Too much fun. I can't believe some of the things I did....corn silk joints anyone? :) Classes were mind numbing and seemed to take forever to complete. I have no desire to go back. I can't count how many times I have been asked if I am going to go back to get my masters degree. I always follow it up with an emphatic NO!!!! This is the truth, I have nightmares about college. The idea of going back makes me somewhat ill. I have dreams where I am either failing, missing class, missing assignments or whatever and wake up in a panic wondering where I put that 20 page term paper on Karl Marx. Then I glance at that degree on my piano, remember and an overwhelming feeling of relief comes over me. Until these dreams go away, I have no desire to re-enter the world of University student life. I am content that I have a BS (BS, that always makes me laugh.) I had the opportunity to use that degree when I recently applied for a job. I wondered if it would ever have leverage for a position and I learned quickly that it did. It was for a part time position at my kids' school in the literacy center. I didn't get the job, but that is OK, I was just prideful that They had interviewed 6 people out of over 200 applicants. I talked to the principal while waiting for school to get out. I didn't bring it up but he did. He said that the final decision was between me and the lady who got the job. I thought that was pretty cool. Turns out the final decision was made because her degree was in education. I felt good that I had unknowingly been quite a contender for it.

I remember a conversation with my statistics professor once. He told me that I play the "dumb blond" act well. At first I was offended. He realized what I was thinking and quickly said, "no! no! I mean, you act like you are this ditzy blond who couldn't make it. I thought you wouldn't be able to handle this class, but you are managing to grasp it and consistently coming in the top of the curve! You play the dumb blond, but you definitely aren't!" OK, I guess that is better. Yea the class was quite difficult, for some, but stress and competitive environments always have driven me. But try as I may, I couldn't beat that damn brainiac that I kept coming in second to! At the end of this conversation he proceeded to ask me if I wanted to meet him in Mesquite so he could apply the statistics I am learning to craps. I politely declined and got the hell out of there.

I am very glad that I finished my bachelors. It was my goal. I could care less what my degree was in, as long as I got one. It is quite cool to tell people that I have a BS *snort!* Some people are surprised by that. "You have a degree? Really?" As their eyes get wide. Now my children can't seem to understand the point of college. Dylan thinks that I should be designing video games. "Mom, you went to that grown-up school, where they teach people that, so why can't you make a game for the PlayStation? It shouldn't take that long!" I just tell him that if he works hard, he can go to college and make the video games himself. He seems happy with that.

I also think about how hard I worked to get thru school. I worked two jobs during the summer and every weekend to pay for it. Yea my folks helped me, but only when I had paid everything I could. My summers were get up and go to work at 6 am making pies. I would work there til about two in the afternoon, go home shower and go to work at Rite-Aid at three until 9:30. Go home, and of course as a young gal, I wanted to have fun, so out with my friends doing God only knows what until the wee hours of the morning, home for 3-4 hours of sleep and then start over again. I don't' think I could do that now. I just remember waking up for my first job thinking....what the hell was I thinking, I am staying in tonight, I don't care who comes over! But then, I was out at the sand dunes, at a party or whatever it is I used to do. Some things I don't think I will ever tell hehe!

K so there is my blog for today. I am trying to write at least once a day for a week so that I can get into a habit of consistently writing here. Now I am off to make some pies for turkey day tomorrow. I know shocking ain't it that I am making pies? And some more projects. Here are two more that I make, they are my most popular sellers.

Chloeism for today...

2009-11-24T19:16:00.001-07:00

Chloe starts yelling and I ask her what is wrong cause she is holding her foot. She proceeds to angrily yell....."THE PIANO RAN INTO MY FOOT!!!"

Politics

2009-11-24T13:26:00.001-07:00

I was looking at my University transcript and have realized that I was only a few credits short of completing a minor in Political Science. Basically cause I was completely fascinated with a Poly Sci professor. I took almost all of his classes. Michael Stathis. He is one of the most brilliant professors I ever met. Bet you didn't know I had such a training in the political world did you? HEHE. I figure for once I am going to lay it all out there for everyone. The tender issue of politics. I want to get a few of my views on the world out there. I hope that you will all tell me what you agree with and what you don't. Please remember tho, this is MY blog. I don't mind heated discussion and debate but lets remember a little thing called respect. I will respect you, please do the same.

Lets start with Mr. Barrack Hussein Obama. (yes I actually wrote his middle name, *looks for the black helicopters*). I will say it now, I did NOT vote for him. Before anybody gets into an uproar about that, let me explain. I don't put a lot of stock in the Presidential election. I am more concerned with who we send to Congress, Senate and State/local office. Being that I am in Utah, it is a given that the electoral vote will go to the Republicans. So, when I go to the voting booth, I vote for who I believe is going to lose. Simply so I can bitch about it. I knew Obama would win, so I voted for McCain. That is all there is to it. If I thought McCain would have won, I would have voted for Obama. That being said, I was really thrilled that I saw a black man (albeit half black) elected in my lifetime. Never in a million years did I think it would happen. And for the second time in my life I got to see a woman run for Vice President. I watched Obama's inauguration and was thrilled that I got to see it. It was a major mile-stone historical moment for our country. It was awesome. Now, more than a year after the election, I am still waiting to be inspired by him. I feel that he is riding the coattails of that historical election rather than actually doing something. I am supportive of him, and wish him all the best but he won a Nobel Peace Prize? For what? Really for me it seems like a big mess. I am hopeful that he can take the bull by the horns and make a real difference....a good one. But, I am still waiting.

I have taken numerous "what political party best suits you" quizzes. I can say that I am definitely a middle of the road person. I can agree with both sides of the aisle. They keep coming up "libertarian" and "constitution." Not that I really want to be boxed in as a conservative or a liberal, I like to think for myself and take each issue individually. So I have decided to take a few issues and show you how it is that I can be so unaffiliated, as my voter registration card says.....

Abortion - I am a right to lifer. With the exception of medical issues and rape, there is no excuse to kill an unborn child. You make your choice when you lay down and have sex, you run the risk of getting pregnant. Deal with it. Until it can be 100% proven that the embryo/fetus is unable to feel anything, and that it isn't a person with a soul already, I will not change my mind.

Gun Control - We have the right to keep and bear arms. As they say, only law abiding citizens will give up their weapons. You think the thugs and criminals of the world will give them up? NOT! If government takes away our guns, we are susceptible to a tyrannical government who will not give a damn about our rights. Furthermore, I know for Tom and I, as Charlton Heston said you will get my gun when you pry them from my "cold dead hands."

Gay Marriage - I could care less if gays want to marry or not. We are supposed to be a free nation so why is it that two people of the same sex can't marry? What consenting adults do is none of my business, or the governments. Yes I am a Christian, and my beliefs say that homosexual behavior isn't right. But those are MY beliefs, and what right do I have to force that on someone else? It isn't hurting me, and frankly I don't believe that it is a one way ticket to Hell. God loves us ALL, and Jesus has saved us ALL. We all have our faults.

Death Penalty - I am for the most part against it. I do think it has its place in society but as a rare option. Too many times there are too many questions about the guilt or innocence of a person. We are too quick to be out for blood. There are in fact a few times where there is no doubt about the evil nature of a person. Timothy McVeigh comes to mind. People like him are who the death penalty is perfect for. Yet I think, life in prison would be even more harsh than being put to sleep. I would rather die than spend the next 50 years in a 10x10 concrete room with other violent human beings having to deal with the fear and brutality of the prison population. But that is just me.

So there are a few of my ideas, I am sure there are going to be plenty more. If you haven't done so and are at all interested in the history of our nation, I would invite you to watch the "John Adams" series that HBO put out. It is a raw look into what the Founding Fathers went thru and dealt with in the creation of a new nation from the view point of Adams.

I do want to say that I am proud of my country and I love our military both Veterans and current Active Duty. I come from a long line of military men and I am proud of all of them. And as the saying goes "If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!"

Tattoo you

2009-11-23T22:49:00.000-07:00

I have always wanted a tattoo. Really. My only thing is that I have a psycho fear of needles. The only time I ever welcomed a shot was epidurals. I don't know why, it isn't the pain involved, it is just the idea of a needle injecting in me ewww. Now I have the opportunity to get a really nice looking one. And I can't believe I actually am chomping at the bit to do it. My cousin, Brei, has a tattoo that is flesh town and it is a fancy letter "f" standing for faith, family, friends an fidelity. I have seen it and it is nice. Our cousin, Abbie has decided that she would like to get the same one. Abbies Mother, Lori, suggested that it might be cool if the girl Herrud cousins all had the same one. We will be going up to Idaho for Brei's wedding and could have it done by the same artist in January. I have pretty much decided that I would like to do it. My problem is.....funding. We aren't rich, we aren't poor. We are an average middle class family trying to get by in the world. Right after the holidays with 4 kids, is kinda hard to come by extra money. We shall see.

If you haven't noticed, I have added a few more card designs. Thank you for the emails and such telling me which ones you like and want to copy. I am flattered! I am looking forward to the show. It is always fun. This craft fair is the only one I do since I a merely a hobby demonstrator.

And to end on a funny note, Dylan recently saw Chloe in the "nude" after gagging cause he saw a girl naked, he looked at Tom and said, "Dad, her pee is inside out." Gotta love eight year olds!

wth?!?!?

2009-11-22T16:32:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here watching the Broncos get their asses handed to them. Again. Doesn't really matter cause I am a true fan. It is still very painful to watch them go from a 6-0 winning streak to now losing 4 games in a row. I catch so much hell from people, but that is ok, I can take it. My second team is the Vikings who are doing much better. If I need to pin my hopes on a superbowl game, they are apparently my only chance. I am just waiting for the onslaught of texts, emails and posts that are surely coming my way giving me a ton of grief. Some people are surprised that I like the Vikings. It is nostalgic for me. My Grandfather was from Minnesota and I remember him telling me that he liked them. He even showed me a Vikings jacket. I have always in secret cheered for them, I have decided that it was dumb to hide it and while Broncos will ALWAYS be my number one, I have no shame showing my purple side. Back to the Broncos, I have grown up in a family of fanatics. Anyone that knows me and my family will not be surprised by this. We even buried my Uncle Jeff in a Broncos jersey. (and a Broncos Bad Call Brick). I had a John Elway poster on my wall and we have enough Bronco stuff to open a souvenier shop. I still love them, and I want to get my hands on a Eddie Royal jersey, just haven't been able to buy one....yet.

Yesterday was the two year "death"iversary of Jeff. I am not sad like I was. I still miss him a ton, but my memories bring a smile to my face. He was a hard headed ornery guy, with a heart of gold. We had a great relationship especially after I got married and had a family. I just wish he would pull some strings up there and do something about these Broncos!!!!!

And to end this post, I am going to start showing off some of my card work. I have been busy making projects, mostly cards for a craft show in parowan. I sell a lot, and I do enjoy it. So here are a few of my projects. If you would like to know what I used to make something, let me know and I will give you the "recipe" as we call it.

HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY!

2009-11-21T18:26:00.001-07:00

I now weigh less than I did before I got prego with Chloe....yahoo! (This is to offset that overly depressing earlier post!)

Confusion

2009-11-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

It is fall, and I both love and hate this time of year. I love the changing colors, the crispness in the air and the 'smell' that comes with it. I hate the funk I seem to get in. I don't know why, but this time of year I get so sad and depressed. I have all but decided that it is time for me to go see a shrink. I keep thinking about my Grandma Gerry, and how she must have felt this way a lot. She was a hard woman to love sometimes, and I now understand why she was so bitter. This sucks. Panic/anxiety attacks are quite awful. Every morning I wake up with dread and no desire to do anything. I force myself out of bed, and that can take a half an hour! Yet as my day goes on, I get better. By the time late afternoon/evening rolls around I am back to that same girl that laughs a lot and lovin' life. I have meds that work, however I do not want to be that lady that is over medicated and out of touch with reality cause she just can't deal with life. UGH.

If you are reading this, I don't want a pity party. I really would rather you all just told me to 'get over it' or say something to make me laugh. I hate it when people feel sorry for me. So why am I writing this out there for all of the world to read? Because I want to get it out there, I know that writing about it is good for me.

I am busy preparing for an upcoming craft show in Parowan. It is a small one but a good one. If you are in the Parowan area the weekend after Thanksgiving, come by and say hi! I am making mostly cards. I had a lady call me from Las Vegas the other day wanting to make sure I was going to be there cause she loved my work. That was a great feeling. She also wanted to know where the location of my booth would be, to make sure she would find me. I was quite proud. There are a few people that come back to me every year but to have someone actually call and say she was coming just to buy my cards is sweet! I am surprised that I sell a LOT of them to young men. They want cards to impress wives, girlfriends and moms. That always makes me laugh. I also represent Stampin' Up! so people will occasionally order product from me. I make a little extra money and get out into the public for a couple of days. My fall therapy...;).

A funny note, I recently asked the question on my facebook page, what four words would you say to me if we woke up in jail together? I got over 25 responses! It is hilarious what people wrote. If you have a facebook page you ought to try it. I got a HUGE laugh out of it.

whew!!!

2009-10-08T14:31:00.000-06:00

I had what I hope is my last visit with Dr. Filloux. He is a nice guy and all but I just hope that there is never a reason to go back. I got a letter a few weeks ago telling me to bring him down to the clinic. At first I didn't think much of it, but as my mind started to wander. The What-ifs began to emerge. My Mom came with me and I took the other two kids to my fathers work to hang out. The doctor looked over his notes and pulled up an mri image of Coltons brain. He showed me the spot on his brain that the radiologist had attributed to an in-utero brain injury. He then told me that the radiologist was incorrect and that he was just saying that to cover his bases. What it turned out be was there is a blood vessel going thru the brain at that point and it was simply a little extra fluid surrounding it. It is something that he said happens in about half of all kids. WHEW!!! The only thing that sucks is that for the last three months I have been trying to figure out how in the world I had harmed my baby. More than a few doctors asked me if I had been hit, fell down or in an accident. For the life of me I couldn't figure it out. I am just glad to know that it is not my fault! The only thing that was of concern to him was that I have a family history of epilepsy. But he isn't convinced that is what it was. Colton is now off of phenobarbital and we will just watch him. If he doesn't have another seizure in the next 6 months, the Dr. says he will write it off as a fluke. So please please please everyone cross your fingers and say a few prayers if you have some laying around. :)
The kids are well settled in school and are doing good. Chloe is up at the butt crack of dawn every morning and dressed before most anyone is even thinking about hitting the snooze button. Dylan seems to enjoy his class and has been making some awesome friends.
I have been finding a lot of old friends on facebook. I have been shocked the past couple of months at who I am able to reconnect with. (you all know who you are!) It is so much fun to see where everyones lives have led them. Every few days I get a friend request from someone I haven't seen in years. I love it!
Oh and I am now down 23 pounds!! YAY ME!! I am 1/3 of the way to my goal. I am feeling great. I am fitting into clothes that I haven't been able to comfortably wear since before Colton. Newer clothes are now getting too big, awwww poor me.

Im BAAAACK!

2009-09-09T13:00:00.000-06:00

Yes I suck at this. There is a lot to say, and I don't even know where to begin.

Colton had is EEG it was an interesting process. They gave him some meds to knock him out and after I walked a mile around the hospital pulling him around in a wagon, he finally conked out. I just sat and watched the process. I was fully enthralled by it. (shocking I know, the moon amuses me). He looked awful during the process with all of the probes all over his head, but I knew he was fine. It took a long time for me to finally get the test results back. It took a few weeks due to specialists and docs being on vacation, but I started hounding them, and finally the nurse called me back and told me that everything is normal. Whew. Now after I get the OK from his doctor here, we should be weaning him off of his phenobarbital.

Two of my kids had birthdays. Dylan turned 8 and Chloe turned 5. They are both in school now. Surprisingly both of them are having a really good time and can't wait to go in the morning. It is a relief because I worried so much about Dylan. He seemed to be struggling so much, but now he is just thriving. It feels good to watch him blossom. Chloe of course has been excited to be in school since she was two. She comes home telling me everything she did. It is funny. We took the kids to the north rim of the Grand Canyon on Dylans actual birthday. It was a lot of fun, and the kids were impressed. We took a picnic. and then walked to the rim. The older kids and I walked down a trail a way and took some pictures. Tom kept the baby up at the top of the trail and looked around. BUT my camera got dowsed by something and now isn't working so I can't even get my pics off. I am going to try and clean it up just well enough to at least get the pics. *sigh* Technology is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it can be so frustrating.

As far as the weight loss thing goes, I weighed myself and I am now down 15 pounds......yeah! I am sooo on a roll. Bikini at the lake next summer, here I come!

2009-08-11T14:56:00.000-06:00

This weight loss thing aint easy. But I am happy to say that I have lost a total of 5 pounds. YAY! It is easier than I thought it would be. I am just slowly learning what is worth eating and what isn't. I have yet to remeasure myself to see how many inches I have lost. I don't care to do it right now, so sorry!

Colton is doing good. He is growing so fast and my favorite thing is that when I tell him I love him he responds with a "Lub-a-too!" He also flexes his muscles. haha. He will have his eeg this thursday and hopefully that will signal the end of this entire mess. He has extra fluid in his brain, more than normal, but he should be ok. They said it is an "in-utero-trauma."

The other two kids are getting ready for school to start. Needless to say that Chloe is a lot more excited than Dylan. I am relieved that school is starting. Maybe I am a bad mom but listening to the two of them fight all day is driving me insane. I love that staples commercial where it starts out with the Christmas Carol, "Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Where the Dad is happily school shopping and taunting his two kids who are less than amused. That is SOOOOOO me! I went school shopping last week, and I was actually excited to do it. It will then be just Colton and I for half a day at least. He gets mommy to himself! Dylan starts on August 20th and Chloe starts September 1. And then all will be right with the world. Don't get me wrong, I miss them when they aren't around and I adore my kids, but I need a break from the yelling, crying and screaming. These two are like oil and water.

Another shot of shame

2009-07-14T14:04:00.001-06:00

So, in my effort to motivate myself into a healthier me I have decided to humiliate myself even further. I am now going to give you my measurements for waist, arms and thighs. Now this sucks but I am going to do it anyway cause I know this will cause even further drive in myself. My measurements are:

Waist - 46 inches (I know! I had to measure it twice!)

Thigh- 24 inches

Arm (upper arm) - 14 inches.

I have to admit I am actually enjoying my healthier lifestyle. It can be hard sometimes but I stick to it for the most part. heh. The exercise is fun. I LOVE hip hop abs, even tho I tried to do the intense workout and 20 minutes into it I was on the ground panting! lol. So I will stick with the other cardio and ab sculpting until I have better stamina and then I will get back into the intense one. Colton tries to do it with me and Chloe attempts to do it. So its fun. Dylan just tells me I look wierd doing it. Tova and I still go for a few brisk walks in the evening. Averaging approximately 2 miles a day. Being that he is a samoyed, a sled dog by nature, he forces me to walk faster than normal. Which I am happy for. I did modify my routine tho. I decided that I don't HAVE to workout daily. I only HAVE to workout for 30 minutes 5 times a week. I can do more if I feel like it, but that is my minimum. That makes it more livable. I will also allow myself a "treat" day once a week that I will allow 300 more calories one day a week in addition to my regular 1300 calories. So bear with me, as I make my modifications to my diet. Thank goodness for crystal light and special k. (their shakes aren't too bad!)

Sleep Deprivation

2009-07-09T21:39:00.001-06:00

This has been the longest day of my life. I went down to St. George and decided that since I am such a sound sleeper that I had better stay up all night rather than try to wake up so early. I got Colton up at 130 am and kept him busy until it was time to leave. We went to the new hospital and got all checked in. Colton screamed the whole time, he was so tired! I tried to get him calmed down and rocked him gently until about 730 when he finally drifted off to dreamland. I laid him on the bed and the lady who was administering the eeg very gently started puting the nodes on him. Well, he doesn't sleep like his mom, and his eyes popped open and he was having none of this. After an hour of trying to get one done, we decided that we would have to do a sedated one next week...UGH!!! But at least I can sleep the night before lol. So I get him in the van and drive over to the old hospital for his mri. We get in, and I get him changed. It is barely 830 am. They give him a sedative to calm him down and then I take him to the radiology dept. at 930. The nurse came out of the room and picked him up, and instructed me to go to the waiting room until they came and got me. Now, I know it shouldn't bother me, but it did. The nurse was nice and all but she just non chalantly picked him up and waved me off. I still don't understand why they wouldn't let me stay with him until he was sedated. All I could think about was how scared he probably was, and didn't know what was happening with these strangers and where is mommy? Kinda irks me, but not much I can do now.

I went and got a bite to eat at the cafeteria, since I refused to eat in front of my baby that couldn't eat anything that morning. So I was pretty hungry. I went back to the waiting room, ate my bagel and waited. They finally let me back to him after an hour and a half. He was so mad, lol, don't blame him. I looked warily at the nurse and asked, "when can we leave?" she said, "let me see what I can do to get you out of here fast" and boy did she. She came in and removed the IV, I got him changed and we left within ten minutes. I went and saw my Mom at work to let her know we were done and then went to my folks' house to nap. All I know is taht I got to the house, put Colton down for a nap and then laid down on the couch. I finally got up about 230 or 3 when my mom got home and she brought me sandwiches from Tom's Deli! YAY! I hung out trying to shake the grogginess and came home. Now here I am drowsy, but alive and glad today is over. I am anxious tho to get this all over with. I still have at least one more week of dread for the eeg and hiding phenobarbital in his bottle.

Oh and on a side note, Tom (who stayed home to take care of the other munchkins) let me know of Chloes favorite sandwich. She made herself a peanut butter and dill pickle sandwich..........and she ate it!!! YUCKY!!!!!!!!!!

RIP MJ!

2009-07-08T13:35:00.000-06:00

As we all know, Michael Jackson passed away a couple of weeks ago. That to me, is so sad. I am a true blue fan from a very young age. Just ask my mom! I had a glove and posters and my mom somewhere has my "thriller" jacket that I was sure was the one he wore. lol. I don't believe he was a pedophile, just a tragic soul, who is FINALLY getting some peace. I watched his memorial yesterday and it was soooo sweet. I did finally shed a couple of tears when his daughter got up and said she loved him and that he was the best. That poor kid! ugh. He is among the best entertainers that ever lived in my book. That all being said, can we PLEASE move on? The news just won't let it go. We have soldiers overseas dying a lot more heroically and tragically than MJ. I hope that now that he has had his memorial, life can get back to normal and we can start hearing more about the real news of the world.

As far as my health goes, I have lost two pounds last week. YAY!!! And my hip hop abs came in the mail today. So I can't wait to get started on that. I am trying to prove to myself that I can do it without shelling out a butt load of money on programs.

Tomorrow is the day for Colton's MRI and EEG. I am going to go down to my folks' house and stay the night. I have to get him up early...like three am, cause his eeg is at 7 am and he has to be sleep deprived. (I looked this up on the net, and it said that sleep deprivation can cause seizures, and they can get a clearer idea of what is going on!) This should be fun. He can't have anything solid to eat after midnight, only clear fluids cause after the eeg he will have an mri with sedation, and they don't want him puking. My kid loves to eat, and so he gets up in the morning and I can't give him anything? This is going to suck! lol. But he is getting his tests over with, and maybe he can be taken off of his meds. That would be so nice. My mom-in-law called me and was wondering when everything would be happening. She is so worried. She just had major back surgery and said that if she could she would be down there with us. I tried to reassure her that it was OK and the testing is not much to worry about. But she is a Grandma, and she loves him, she won't stop worrying until it is all over.

My Fat Hiney

2009-06-30T16:31:00.000-06:00

Well I have had it, I am way too fat. I am going to now take the bull by the horns and get myself into shape. And I am going to do something that I know I am going to regret and tell the world how much I weigh...are you ready? As of today, Tuesday, June 30th 2009, I am 207 pounds. Holy Cow! Now, why am I doing this, cause I want you all, my loyal readers to hold me to my word. I went and found a website, http://www.caloriecount.about.com/ and entered in my info. According to that website, which I have chosen to abide by, my goal is to weigh no more than 141 pounds by May of 2010. I have to enter in there daily what I have eaten, it counts my calories, and the amount of exercise I do, and it will give me a good idea where I stand. I am so committed to this.

I am NOT dieting per se, I am just going to make better choices in my overall intake. I don't think actual diets work too well. I will not deny my cravings, I just have a limit to the amount of calories I can eat daily. So I have to be careful about how I use those calories. I am on a mission. Especially since I have announced to the whole world what I am doing, my goals and my weight (ugh). I found it interesting that for my height I am only considered slightly to moderately overweight, yeah right! The other thing is that I am not trying to become the skinny mini I was 10 years ago. That to me is not healthy or even slightly cute. I just want to be better toned and feel good about myself in a swimsuit. I want people to look at me and say...."wow! she has had three kids?"

As far as the exercise goes. I am going to work my way up to an hour of exercise a day. I want to do a basic cardio workout in the am and then weather permitting go for a half an hour walk in the evening with my dog. He will love that. I have heard that the workout hip hop abs is quite a good workout for what I am trying to obtain. But VERY expensive. So I looked on ebay and was able to buy the workout for a total of $8.50. Normally that workout is a LOT of money so I was excited to be able to get it for this amount.

Another aspect of this is that it will help me deal with my depression and anxiety a lot easier. I so want to be happy. I would also love to be able to run a marathon. Don't know that I actually would do that but I would like to be able to if I wanted to. So there it is. I am going to go take a couple pics of myself today for the "before" and "after" pictures that I can post at the end of this. So please hold me to the fire and force me to to be a healthier person k?

neurologist

2009-06-11T22:06:00.000-06:00

I took Colton to the Neurologist yesterday. (Wed. June 10). The day started out kinda hectic. I had made arrangements for Dylan and Chloe to go to their Grandma Parry's house. The letter I had gotten from the Clinic was very specific about Not bringing other children to the appointment. I got a call that morning from my father-in-law asking me if I could bring them to their doctors office cause mom-in-law wasn't feeling well. I said let me see if I can make other arrangements and Drex agreed that that would be best. I called my Sis-in-law, the OTHER Jamie Parry( how funny is it that brothers both married a Jamie hahaha, makes for some interesting moments.) Anyway, she was busy but was trying to figure out a way for her and Drex to meet up and this and that. I said, let me see if I can find someone else. So, I called, my Dad. He of course, said "sure!" and we were off. I went to the store, got a prescription and some lunch for the kiddos to eat with Grandpa. I dropped the kids off, and headed to the docs appointment. I got there and the door was locked, um, ok. They told me more than once to get there at least 20 minutes early, to fill out paperwork. I was on time. And they aren't open? A few minutes later they let me and another mom and kid in. I filled out the proper paperwork and sat down with the other mom. Colton and the little boy, Jared, played together. His Mom told me that he was significantly small for his age. He was the same age as Colton and looked to be half his size. It was so funny. Colton just dwarfed the poor kid. I heard when they weighed him, he wasn't even 20 pounds. Now, I know Colt is big for his age but, it was like looking at the two extremes. Colt looked like he could eat the kid for a snack! Well we go in and I meet Dr. Fran *his real name is Dr. Filleoux...or something like that. An older guy and very friendly. He talks to me and then get an in depth history of my family health and it was like and interrogation lol. He got Colton down to his diaper and did a pretty in depth exam. We talked some more and then he stated that he didn't really like the idea of keeping him medicated for an extended period of time. Which, I can agree with. He said that he wanted to do and MRI and an EEG and if that came back clear, that we would slowly wean him off of the Phenobarbital. SWEET. He said, that while my familial history is a little concerning, he didn't think we needed to box him into "epileptic". If he does happen to have another seizure, Then we can be for sure, but he said he wasn't completely positive that this will happen again. I tend to agree with him. I am hoping that it was just a fluke.

Now I realize that I have been dedicating this blog to my youngest. I need to stop it. So now, for news on my other beauties. Since she is such a princess and always has to be first, I will start with my Chloe... She is doing quite well, and finshed up preschool she is so excited to start Kindergarten and go to the big kid school like her brother and ride the bus. I have to admit with pride that she is very smart. Also, quite a smartass. Sorry, but I had to say it. She loves to sing....LOUD....and Tom and I just can't help but smile when she 'embellishes' her songs. She is such a girly girl, and I love it. I love being able to dress her up and play with her hair. Tho she hates it when I do it, she says I hurt too much.

Then there is Dylan... He is just glad to be out of school for the summer. He doesn't share the enthusiasm for school that Chloe does. He is getting better at reading. I used to get so worried about him but I have realized that he is doing remarkably well. OK I admit, I still worry about him. But that is what moms do right? I love watching him. I could do it all day. He has such an imagination. And, he so super sensitive. I am not so much. It is sometimes hard to understand him. I am trying but I also want to toughen him up a bit cause, he tends to breakdown a lot at school even. I just want him to be happy. I have realized that I am just overanalyzing him and overprotecting him. He is so good at science and math. And has an amazing heart and the cutest little freckles!

And finally we have Whitni. She is now 15 almost 16. Wow. Her dad and I began dating when she was only 3 and a half. Ugh. She can't wait to get her license. She is an honor student, involved in choir and her church. Her one down fall is that she goes to ....Dixie High.....UGH..... Oh well. She can't help it...;) Sometimes when I attend her functions at her school, I get very nostalgic for my high school days. I can't believe it has been fourteen years since I graduated high school. Wow. I know that isn't much, but it feels like maybe it has been two or three years. And college yikes! Anyway, back to Whitni. I consider myself eternally blessed that I have her for a step-daughter. I think of how she could be making life here a living hell, and she doesn't. She treats me and my family with respect and love and they all love her too. I love her as much as I do my own and would easily lay my life down for her. She is a good kid. Well enough of the sappy stuff. I am sitting here wondering if anyone actually reads this stuff. Oh well even if they don't I have a place for me to write down my happenings and thoughts. That's cool.

Hello

2009-06-03T18:42:00.001-06:00

Well I have been informed by friends that I am not very good at this. OK. I am trying. So here is my updates.

Colton is doing quite well. No new seizures. He is on Phenobarbital, and he must take what amounts to almost 4 1/2 teaspoons a day. I had the hardest time getting him to take the stuff. Finally I called the Doc, and they gave me the OK to hide it in his Silk and Juice. Yes, I said, silk, he is allergic to milk. That makes it a lot easier. But now the poor kid is on zithromax, because he has still got an ear infection and bronchitis. This poor kid just can't catch a break. The PA said something about maybe asthma. What next? Seriously. But, it isn't anything that cannot be taken care of, so I am grateful from that standpoint. I will take him to the pediatric neurologist next week. Luckily, the neurologist from Primary Childrens Hospital makes a trip to St. George once a month. I may still have to occasionally make a trip up to Salt Lake City, but mostly go to St. George. YAY!! I am just so grateful that he is OK, and that we can handle his issues.

Dylan asked me to explain epilepsy to him. I thought and figured out a way to make a seven year old understand. I said that in our brains we have little things like stars (neurons) that talk to each other(electrical currents thru the right and left side of the brain). In people with epilepsy, sometimes those stars will say too much or too little or get mad at each other. That is when people will have a seizure. I told him that "it is scary to watch someone have a seizure, but more than likely he will be ok. just make sure that a grown up is with him if you see him acting wierd." Then this is how the conversation went.

Dylan: Didn't Uncle Jeff have epilepsy?

Me: Yes he did

Dylan: Didn't he die from a seizure? (this kid is a lot more perceptive

than I thought!

Me: Yes he did....(Now I am starting to understand where this conversation

is going)

Dylan: (he is quiet tears welling up in his eyes)

Me: But honey, Colton isn't going to die. We will make sure that he takes

his medicine and that he is ok. Uncle Jeff probably wasn't taking care of

it the way he was supposed too. And guess what? Grandma Hamblin has

epilepsy, she takes her medicine, and she is alive and healthy!

Dylan: I know, but I just miss uncle Jeff (k where did that come from?)

Me: Well I do too, but Uncle Jeff is in a really wonderful place, he is up in

Heaven with God and Jesus and I bet he is really happy. And one day we

will see him, and I bet he will give you a big hug...

Dylan: (smiles thru tears) I know, he loved me didn't he

Me: Very much. He used to tickle you and play with you. Tell you what,

whenever you feel sad about Uncle Jeff, go sit in his chair, it was his

favorite and it will be like he is giving you a hug. And remember Uncle

Jeff wants us to be happy, so try and think of happy thoughts and smile.

He can see us, and it will make him happy.

At this point Dylan goes and sits in the chair and smiles. Then he quietly said, "I love you Uncle Jeff"....Now just so you all know, I am not moping around over uncle Jeff. I miss him tons, but I have moved on. I will always remember and love him, but I have gotten a grip on the fact that he died eighteen months ago. Speaking of which, there is finally a gravetone on his grave. It looks so awesome. so there you go, there is my update. Thanks for reading!!!!

Coltons Wild Weekend

2009-05-03T23:11:00.001-06:00

So I guess I should fill everyone in on what exactly has gone on this weekend. Colton has been a little sick, not really but just a little, so I really wasn't too worried. On Saturday, I needed to go vacuum out the van and get a prescription filled. Tom and I were going to go on a date that night and my parents were going to watch the kids. I got to the carwash and vacuumed out the van. I was in the back fixing something with Dylans tv when Chloe said, "Mom, water is coming out of Colton's mouth." I wasn't too worried cause I had given him a bottle of water. When I looked at him, his lips were blue, his eyes were rolled in the back of his head and he was convulsing. He was having a SIEZURE!!!!! I tried to get him to notice me and "come to" and it wasn't working. I grabbed my cell hit 911 and pulled him out of his carseat. I talked to the 911 operator for what seemed like an hour but was probably only 2 minutes at most while waiting for the ambulance. It felt like the loneliest moment of my life. I was alone with a limp baby, who if it wasn't for his breathing I would have thought he was dead and two very upset children wondering what was wrong with their baby brother. Chloe just sat silent and scared looking at him and Dylan started crying for his brother to not choke and not die. I felt so helpless and scared on the side running board of my van. The ambulances....3 plus some private cars....show up and I hang up and call Tom who was supposed to be on his way to teaching a gun permit class. To my surprise he was across the street at the gas station! Can you believe it? So they get him into the ambulance with Tom riding along with him. Drex, my father in law and coltons grampa, took my van to his house with the other two kids so they would be outta the way and not scared. I drove Tom's truck to the hospital. Tom was so emotional, I felt so bad! On the way to the hospital, I called my folks. I meant to call my dad first but accidentally called my moms cell. I knew my mom would be upset, and she was. I called my dad and filled him in. I got him all checked in and we got a battery of tests done. There was nothing to indicate why he had a seizure. That is when we knew for sure what we didn't want, it was epilepsy. It is genetic on my side of the family. The same problem that contributed to the death of my uncle Jeff. I can't even begin to describe what it was like to watch all of this poking and pushing and pulling and up and down and just everything going on to my little 18 month old baby! I certainly hope that noone reading this will ever know the feeling. My parents showed up, they both looked so scared. The doctors, Tom and I decided we would like for him to stay overnight in the hospital. We just felt a lot better. I would spend the night with him and Tom would go home with the other kids. We hung out for a while got put into his regular room and just held him and loved on him. I decided I better go home to get some clothes and other personal items. On my way back, my mom called to ask me something when he went into another seizure. Lets just say, if you were in Cedar and a silver minivan just about ran you off of the road, I am sorry, but I was driving like crazy to get to the hospital. Luckily, the doctor was in the room when it started. I got there and sat down in disbelief...what in the world is wrong with my baby boy?!?!?!?! Two seizures in one day? Are you kidding me? The doctor started to talk to me and then he told me, "We are going to do a spinal tap" That scared the CRAP out of me. They told me I should leave due to my aversion to needles. I left trying not to lose control of my emotions, and went to get something to eat. I came back and heard my baby crying and lost my appetite. My dad, I and Tom sat in the waiting room trying to stay positive, but it wasn't working too well. I went in and saw my little man on the bed just as limp as when I held him waiting for the ambulance. At least he was in a place where he was safe. I had to change his diaper cause as they were getting him ready to have the spinal tap, he loaded his diaper. That was the one funny that happened. Mom said that all five people leaning over him let out a collective peeyew! As the evening went on, Tom went and got the kids, I guess he broke down, and my folks left to go home. We moved Colton to the crib and I tried to sleep..yeah right! He did finally wake up at 3 and then managed to puke all over the crib and myself at 330. We were up and down for the rest of the night and then we had some breakfast. I finally fell asleep for a few hours and then we had some lunch when Tom and the other two kids arrived. Colton seemed to be ok. So I had Tom stay at the hospital when his folks got there while I went home and washed some clothes and got some things together. I came back to the hospital and Cam and Jamie were here. Colton then puked everywhere all over Tom and the bed. Jamie helped me clean the baby up. My Mom showed up and then Tom, Cameron and Jamie left. Tom went home to get cleaned up. We hung out with the kids and Colton puked all over again, this kid was just having an issue. Tom showed up and took the kids over to his folks' house and then Colton had diarrhea then fell on his but and made a mess all over the floor. K now it is starting to get comical. He is now on a clear fluid diet. But he is doing well. Tom came back to the hospital and my mom and I went to dinner, just the two of us and it was so nice to just get away for a grown up moment. I came back and Tom went home and then later my Mom went home. Whitni and her mom Taya were on their way back from Salt Lake so they stopped in to see him. He was pretty happy to see her. Now here I am, still in the hospital, and ugh. There is so much to think about. He has to go to vegas or slc to visit a pediatric neurologist. He is on fenalbarbetol (i can't spell it and I don't want to check the spelling so sorry!) He is doing so much better but I am trying to not get too excited. But I have to be hopeful. As a mom you tend to second-guess yourself. Things like, what did I do wrong? Is there something I could have done different? I can say with 99% certainty that I couldn't have done anything different. But there is always that nagging doubt. I even question whether or not I should have called 911, maybe I could have just made it to the hospital myself, but I know pretty surely that there is no way that would have ended well so I guess I did the right thing. Being a mom is so damn hard sometimes. Them little ones know how to rip your heart out. I am trying to keep things positive, I am lucky that I was in town cause if I were at home it would have taken ten minutes for help to get there. I am also really lucky that Tom was across the street at the time, and that his dad was with him. As my aunt put it, I had a lot of angels helping me. My grandpas, grandma and uncle Jeff. And I am sure that there were folks on Toms side watching out too. God sure did guide me. He kept me from a complete meltdown and kept my senses with me. I am shocked at the calm I was able to maintain. I am just bracing myself for the delayed come apart that I am sure to have. At least I will be home when that all happens. Mothers day is this coming weekend. I know what I want.So there is the story. Hopefully we will be coming home tomorrow. We will see tho. I will keep you all posted. Thank you God, for keeping my baby safe.