Stop with the Drama please!

I deactivated my Facebook account just barely. If you are interested at all why, here goes..

1.  I am trying to burn through my online training to get my RBT and keep checking my FB everytime I see there is a new notification. DISTRACTING from my goals!

2.    Drama. Holy cow, a lot of people are so full of it. I am as guilty as the next guy for wanting to get some attention, but all the belly aching, and whining and refusal to accept responsibility is getting to be too much. 

3.    I like my job. I don't want anything to interfere with my career. Yes, I said career. You know that thing that helps me me feed my kids, clothe my kids and just living. My job has a lot of ethical demands. Some people don't seem to want to respect the boundaries and then question my friendship when I set clear boundaries.

4.    Like the rest of the world, I have become addicted to social media. I over share, like everyone else. I enjoy catching up on my friends and family. I love bantering back and forth about my Broncos. Time to detox!

5.    Text is the easiest way to misunderstand people and ruin friendships. I feel judged, belittled and like people are condescending towards me. I know it is in my head, but it sucks to feel that way.

There it is. You know why. I will go back as soon as I am done with all my modules for the training, and feel comfortable enough to believe that it will be fun. It's time to live life again. What did we do before the internet came into our lives? 

TATTOOED!!! Finally.

Well, I finally did it. I got my first tattoo. I have always wanted one, since I was a teen, but you see, I have this weird fear of needles. Not an "oh I dislike them cause they are inconvenient." But an, "OMG, that thing is going to kill me! Someone shoot me now!" absolute fear. I know it is irrational, but even a flu shot requires a dose of Xanax.  But that didn't deter from the longing and admiration for the artwork created. I have had this particular one picked out for years. As in, shortly after my now 7 year old was born. Actually before then. I just added his name to it. I am not into the funny, or comical ones. I wanted one with meaning. And this one sums it up. I have my kids names wrapped in a ribbon around a heart and a cross. Because my kids and my faith are what is closest to my heart. Cheesy I know, but hey, it works for me and I am loving it. 

I was expecting this horribly painful experience, which would require a 911 call because I fainted and hit my head. But the hardest part was sitting down. The wait, the anticipation, the agony! I knew I had to just do it. It did require my Daddy driving me there. How cool is that, Dad and I getting tattooed. Now that is bonding! I was shocked at how non-painful it was. It didn't feel great, but far from the excruciating pain I was expecting. I think my Dad might have been disappointed that I didn't have a crazy meltdown. After all, he was the one I locked out of HIS truck because I was freaking out over a shot when I was 19. But, it wasn't bad. I can't believe I hadn't done it before. 

So here it is... my gorgeous...to me anyway... tattoo. Exactly what I wanted. Simple yet meaningful. What do you think? 

What do I do?

Ok, I suck at this. Seriously. Two days I have missed. Nothing exciting except my work gave me the week off and I am doing online training for my Registered Behavior Technician certificate. (RBT) Autism is so complicated. More so than I thought. People ask what I do. It's a form of therapy designed to help redirect problem behavior. It takes a lot of time and patience, but wow, when they respond and learn, it's so rewarding!! Never in a million years did I think I would work in the SPED or with people with disabilities. Never did I think I would enjoy it so much. They have done so much for me. These kids have taught me patience, and understanding. I knew a long time ago that I could never do "office work". It's killing me to sit behind this computer for this training. I like to be active and moving around. My Mom works at a bank, and all I know is that I would probably be shooting from a rooftop if I had to do that kind of work.
Anyway, there it is. Now back to my training.

Catch up time

I realize, it has been over two years since I updated. I recently was discussing life with a therapist friend I know, and he suggested that to help work through the muck in my head, I should keep a blog and update once a day for thirty days. After that a minimum of once a week. In these blogs I should talk about whatever I am thinking about. World issues, life, kids, work etc. I decided to try it. For those of you actually reading, thank you! Input and comments are always welcome. So for today, I will do what the title says, play catch up.
2013 -
Completely single mom mode. I left my job as a preschooler. It was a mutual decision between an administrator and myself. In a nutshell, she didn't like me and was making my life Hell, and I wanted to be back in Cedar anyway. So we parted ways. I spent the summer job searching in Cedar to no avail. Then a friend called me out of the blue and offered me a part time job running an after school program. I LOVED IT. It was around my kids' schedule, and my kids could come along. However, I was financially drowning. But we did adopt a dog from the pound. I call him Ugly Dog, but my kids call him Axl.

2014 -
We aren't going to even talk about the Broncos football season. All I will say is they made it to the Superbowl. The job ended as the school year ended. This is when dark season in Jamie's World began. I was not working, CS was sporadic, and then I got notice that my house had been foreclosed. I am not going to go into how or why, cause many people know. But in a nutshell, I was jobless, soon to be homeless and was relying on food stamps to feed my kids. Jobs in Cedar were scarce and hard to land. My parents offered to take my kids and I in until we could get on our feet again. We cleared out our home, :(, and moved to St. George on July 5th. Within three weeks of moving to St. George I had managed to get three job offers in one day. I took a job at a local school in the SPED department,  then as an activities director at a retirement community. I worked a lot and lucky for me and my kids, Grandpa was able to be my "nanny". Nothing is more relieving than knowing your kids are in the hands of someone that loves them when you can't be there. Dylan started 8th grade at the middle school that I attended, Chloe started 5th grade and Colton began 1st.

2015-
I became disenchanted with the way things were going at the retirement community. I loved the job but so much BS, and not enough hours to make it worth my time. I saw an advertisement for a job working with autistic kids. I applied, they called me that night for an interview the next day. I went to the interview and they called me. THAT NIGHT! I began work as a Behavior Interventionist. The job is amazing. Between the two jobs I was working about 10.5 hours a day. It was so weird to go from no work to a lot of it in such a short time. Exhilarating, challenging and exhausted. I had become so blessed and grateful at the lessons God taught me. Now that the school year is over I am down to one job. But I going full time next week. I also realized that my children are geniuses.... evil laugh. Chloe got straight A's and Colton is way  above level in Language Arts and Math. Dylan is doing so well and has found what seems to be a good place. He is an annoying teenager, for that I am thankful.

There it is, in a nutshell. I am sure I will touch on other subjects in the coming future. I am still crazy. I am childish, and refuse to believe I am almost 40. I am still single, and my kids are awesome. LIFE IS GOOD!