4 years later

Chloe and Jeff

I can't believe it has been 4 years since my Uncle, Jeff Herrud passed away. Last year on the anniversary of his death, I went almost the whole day without even thinking about it. When I realized what day it was, I was pleased that maybe I had been able move on. Fast forward to one year later. Today. I woke up feeling on edge. Sad and ready to cry. Then I remembered what day it was. I got up and got going thinking, "If I get my day started and keep busy I will be O.K." Yeah right. I got in the shower and completely had a break down. I miss him so much. I want him back. I got out of the shower and started to get ready. Turned on the news to hopefully get my mind off of it. And it didn't work. Great! I had only been up a half an hour and I have already cried hard twice! This is gonna be a fun day. Especially for someone who isn't much of a crier. It took me longer than usual but I finally made it to work. And THANK YOU to the wonderful students and coworkers who kept me busy and kept me smiling. I was able to get out of the funk.

I believe that when someone passes away so quickly and unexpectedly it makes it harder. His death was so sudden. And the day before Thanksgiving nonetheless. I had to dig deep that holiday, and remind myself of how thankful I truly was. He was a good friend to me, and it hurts that he is gone. When my Mom told me I kept thinking, "No, she is wrong!" My Grandfather was dying, surely she meant him. But she wasn't. I think I will take my kids to the Jubilee of Trees here in Cedar tonight. I am really beginning to dislike the holidays. My Grandpas both died shortly before Christmas and my Grandma and Uncle right before Thanksgiving. I need to work harder at making it a happy time for me. Ok, enough whining. :)