Pickle

Dylan (Pickle) is my 8 year old son. He is one of the sweetest creatures God put on this earth. He is very sensitive, full of imagination, and gives the best hugs in the world. He just wants everyone to be happy. He is struggling in school. It has been this way since Kindergarten. Luckily his school has a lot of resources and people who are trying so hard to figure out how to make his time there better. We (the school and I and Tom) have been trying everything we can think of to help him. He has been tested over and over and over again for a lot of things. One thing they have noticed is that when he can focus, he is at or above his level. Which makes me feel better. Yet he can NOT focus on his work. His teacher practically has to stand behind him and tell him to keep working. Really, she shouldn't have to do that. He goes to reading centers and they all say that when he is one on one with the tutor, he does quite well. If someone else comes into the picture he gets frustrated, just breaks down and gets so upset to the point he sometimes cries. We were hoping that he would grow into himself and get to a place he is comfortable with in his learning and then go from there. It hasn't happened. Now he is in the third grade and we just can't wait any longer.

They are going to test him for high functioning autism. I got that call yesterday. That lady drives me nuts. She is nice and all, but when she talks to me it is like she is talking to a complete imbecile. She kept saying that she was trying to explain things in a way that I might understand. Despite the fact that I kept telling her that I fully understood she kept talking to me like I had the IQ of an eggplant. I gave permission to test, hung up the phone and just started crying. I feel like I should be able to help him, and I am a huge failure as a Mom. It wasn't so much that they are testing him for this it is that they are running MORE tests. I want to help him enjoy school so much and the further we go the more he grows distant from the love of learning that I had hoped my kids would have. And for crying out loud, this is the kind of thing I studied in school! But then if specialists can't pinpoint it, I guess I shouldn't be expected to either.

It is hard for me to get him to do his homework, I know, all kids are that way. But when I sit with him to help him I have to struggle to keep from growing impatient. I can't count how many times I have said, "Dylan, focus" "Dylan keep working" "Dylan sit still" "Dylan come on you are almost done". I have tried everything I can think of to motivate him. We have even gone as far as shutting off our satellite service, so there isn't so much of a distraction for him. That does seem to help.

I am grateful that he does have it in him. All of the specialists have said, "I can tell you, you have one VERY smart little boy." I know I do. I have heard him, when he isn't under pressure, and watched him when he thinks no one is around. I just hope this next test will be his last.