New Year

It is already 2010 tomorrow? Wow this year has flown by! I have had my ups and downs. Downs? My baby having seizures and spending a few days in the hospital was my main low. That along with many other little things sent me into a deep depression. Ups? My baby is fine thanks to great doctors and the help of God. Kids are thriving in school, Tom is doing well in his shooting and work and I have been having fun. I have met up with some people from my past that I never thought I would ever hear from again. And I weigh almost 40 lbs less than I did a year ago. Overall it has been a good year. I am hopeful that next year is even better.

I hate the word resolutions. So I don't use it. I prefer to use the word goals. I figure it is time for me to list what I want to accomplish in 2010.

#1. I want to continue my fitness regimen and reach my previous set goals by June. I am serious when I say I want to look hot in a bikini at the lake. It is doable!

#2 I want to better manage my finances and be more secure.

#3 I want to spend more time outside. Up in the mountains or on the rocks, just anywhere being active.

#4 I want to take more pictures of my life. My family, my home, my adventures.

#5 Keep up on my blog. A MINIMUM of once a week.

So there you have my goals for the year. They seem simple enough but a little challenge. I hope next year I am writing this blog and saying that I have made all of them happen.

Happy New Year to you all. I hope you all get what you want and need out of life. Love to all!

Dad's

I was listening to the radio in the car today and a commercial came on that I had heard many times before. It is for the National Fatherhood Initiative, or www.fatherhood.org. It has a bunch of kids standing around bragging about what amazing things their fathers can do. I love that commercial. There is something so sweet about kids, especially little boys, bragging about their Dads. Listening to my 8 year-old talk about his Dad, is something that always makes me smile. So much love and admiration. He loves spending time with him, and tries so hard to be like him. I really admire the Dad's out there that take time for their kids. Even Step-Dads who don't have to, but as the Brad Paisley song says, "I hope I'm at least half the man that he didn't have to be." I realize how lucky I am that the Father of my kids is so involved. I know too many who don't have anything more to do with their kids then mailing a child support check each month. Tom is always playing with them. He is a big kid really. He loves the video games, loves to go out exploring with the kids and catching lizards and snakes, and is there as often as he can be for school functions and meetings. I recall one time where parents were invited into Dylan's class to help with gingerbread houses. I called Tom to see if he could be home in time so that I could go, and he called me back and said, "I think I want to go help Dylan if that is OK" Of course it was. So Tom and Dylan made an alien gingerbread house. Things like that stick with kids. Tom is always doing something with one of them it seems. He will play dolls with Chloe, takes a real man to willingly do that, and building blocks with Colton. He has never hesitated to change a diaper and if I have had a rough day, would get up in the middle of the night to feed a crying baby. I am so grateful for him being such an amazing Dad. I also know that if something were to happen and we were no longer together that he would be just as involved as he is now. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his kids. I know there are so many Dads out there that are like that. If you are one of them, I want you to know how much us Mom's appreciate it. It takes a real man to actually be a "DADDY" to his kids. To tell you the truth, there is also something quite "sexy" about it. There is that cliche about men using babies to catch women. And guess what? It is true! It shows a sensitivity and a true manliness to us females, so keep it up cause it will probably work! ;o)

Anyway, to all you fathers out there who make time for your kids, keep it up. You are making a very vital and great impression on your kids.

Great Christmas!

Another Christmas has come and gone. And this year it was wonderful. The past two years stunk to high heaven. This year was fun. To recap, two years ago was awful because I had lost my Uncle and my Grandfather within two weeks of each other. Last year I spent praying to the porcelain god. I was hoping for a great year this time and it was. I was up until 3 am Christmas morning, running interference to excited children. I must admit, there was something sweet about it. I woke up at 6 just in time for my folks to appear. They like to come up and see the kids get their Santa gifts. After hanging out and watching the kids play on the new Wii, my folks headed home and we went to Toms parents house for Christmas breakfast. It was neat seeing everyone. The day I got married I inherited a huge family. I have nephews who are almost my age! I also have great-nieces and great-nephews, so with everyone there at once, it was quite busy. It was neat! After a while we headed down to St. George for Christmas dinner with my parents. Whitni came over and we opened some more gifts with them. We then had a wonderful dinner and hung out some more and then headed home. Needless to say that going on such a small amount of sleep I was exhausted. Couple that with running around with three kids and their excitement, I was ready to drop. As soon as we got the kids wound down, I hit the hay and ZONKED! Today we are being lazy and not doing much, just enjoying watching our offspring play. As far as my gifts go, I got some nice things. I am a pretty happy camper as far as that goes. I don't want to brag, so if you want know 'what' I got, send me a message and I will tell you. Things aren't really what is important as remembering that Jesus is the reason for the season! (But they are fun...) I hope everyone reading this had a wonderful day just as I did. I hope your new year brings you peace and happiness. And as a Christian I would like to add a reminder of what it is I am celebrating;

Luke 2:9-12

And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. (10) And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. (11) For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. (12) And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.”

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I don't know what the next couple of days will bring so I decided to write my Christmas hello, today, 2 days before Christmas. While Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, my favorite day is actually Christmas Eve. I love the excitement in the air, and the way it seems we can all take a deep breath at the end of it. My kids make it even better. How excited they are. While of course they are getting gifts and such, we have decided to take it easy and not go too nuts on the gift thing. We have been trying to get them to focus more on the reason we celebrate Christmas. The birth of Jesus. The kids think it is neat that Jesus is sharing his birthday "party" with us. I know that December 25th was unlikely to be his actual birthday, my kids are way too young to understand that. I am more focused on creating traditions and memories than buying things.

Today, I had a few more loose ends to tie up so I took the little'uns and headed to St. George. I ran the few errands I had left and then went to the folks' where we headed off to dinner. Colton has now learned the fine art of straw wrapper blowing! I am so proud! We then went and looked at some lights, why is it the LED lights annoy me and hurt my eyes? But they were pretty. Then we went to the mall and met up with Santa Clause. HAHA! Coltons first experience with the big red guy. And it went as expected. This first pic is blurry because Colton had sticky hands and grabbed the lens. Then I cleaned it off and as you can tell, Colton STILL wasn't impressed.

OK, well, that makes for a perfect pic don't you think? Then the other two went on and on about their wish lists. Well Santa asked them if their rooms were clean and they told him no. He then told them that if their rooms weren't clean by the time he got there, he wasn't going to leave them any toys!

Thank-you St.Nick! Tom and I aren't holding our breath tho, but the looks on their faces was classic! We then hung out with grandparents for a while and then I came home. The kids were sleeping by the time I got back to town so I snuck up to the Griswold house and snapped some pics. Here is one but it doesn't do the house justice!

I am not kidding when I say, I got out to take the pic and the house was just radiating so much heat! He was starting to turn them off for the evening, but you get the idea.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you all have a wonderful season wherever you are. HO!HO!HO!

Christmas is almost here!

I have been battling a cold all day. One of those really nasty ones that makes your head throb. But, I will survive. After all it is just a cold right? Thanks honey! ;o) I have been holed up in my house doing absolutely nothing all day. I really hate days like this. I hate feeling like I have done absolutely nothing all day. After watching the Broncos lose to the raiders of all people, even if it is only by one point, I was pretty depressed. Tom was off teaching a gun class and I just had to get out. So, I loaded up the kiddos and went for a drive to look at Christmas lights. It was a nice evening. Clear and perfect. There is one house here that puts the Griswolds to shame. Every year we make the trek up to this house on the hill. You can see the glow from blocks away. This guy has every inch of his house and yard covered in some sort of decoration. I remember reading in the local paper once that he has to start getting the lights up in October. There is always a traffic jam in front of his house. Gotta love spirit like that! I forgot my camera, but I will take some pics and show them hopefully on Christmas Eve. It is insane what this guy does. All three of my kids said, "WOW!" when we pulled up. I came down off of the hill and went driving around neighborhoods. I saw one house that was pretty deco'd out. I slowed down in front so kids could see. I noticed some signs saying, "More in back, feel free to walk through" How fun! I pulled over, and got the kids out. It was really cool. All around the house were displays and lights. I made a mental note that we are definitely taking Tom to this. Then I came home and watched the Vikings game. That SUCKED big time. They got it handed to them. UGH! Not a good day for my football teams.

Skeeter Skitty

This is a shout out to where I live and the surrounding areas. I love it here, and it would be very hard to get me to leave willingly. All of these areas are really close to where I live. It is wonderful living in such a beautiful part of God's great world!
...Downtown Cedar City.

..Zion

.Bryce.Cedar Breaks.

Grand Canyon UROC at the rock climbs at Three Peaks and this is just down the road from me, how cool is that? There are other groups that go out there and do it, can't remember the names tho...oops!

I do love it here. It is still a small town with all of that security. But it has a lot of things the bigger towns have to make life convenient. Southern Utah University is here. (And no it isn't just a small community college, like some people think. You know who you are.) The Shakespearean festival is Tony award winning. The people are great, it is a wonderful place to raise a family. If I need to get away, I can be in Vegas or Salt Lake quite quickly and easily if I want to. And to think, just ten years ago, I couldn't wait to get out of here.

Gratitude

As a Mom, I struggle sometimes trying to balance the line between wanting to make my kids happy by giving them everything they want and not spoiling them. Well, I don't have to worry about spoiling them. They have Grandparents for that. But yes, I would like to give them whatever it is they want. Of course, I cannot afford that. I also know that they don't need to be given everything. They need to be happy and grateful for what they have. I have been trying hard to make them realize how lucky they are. Besides the disgusting amount of toys, they have parents who love them, Grandparents that adore them and a massive amount of family and friends who think the world of them. My friends and Toms friends all care a lot too. We do the typical, "Starving kids in Africa" bit when they don't want to eat what they are given. We try to get them to give their toys and clothes that they have grown out of to charity. Recently on a trip to the store, the Salvation Army was out ringing their bells. I thought, "This might be a good chance to see if they understand what we have been trying to tell them." Before we got out of the car I looked at Chloe and Dylan. I said, "You see those people ringing the bells? They are trying to collect money so that they can give help to people who are struggling. They don't have food, or clothes and a lot of the kids don't have toys." They peered over at them. I then handed them each a couple dollars and said, "Here is some money. You can buy a treat, play in the game room, or you can give it to those people and put it in the red kettle." We got out of the car and walked up to the front. I was so pleased that they both, without hesitation, put their money in the kettle. I was pretty proud of them and then Dylan told the bell ringer, "Merry Christmas!" Of course Chloe had to say it too. I was even happier when yesterday Dylan asked if they could take the money they have been saving and give it to the people at the store so that they can buy food for people. Moments like that make me think that I may be doing a thing or two right.

Hair

Last night, I wanted to calm down a little so I hit the liquor cabinet. Due to the fact that I don't drink that often I should have stopped early. After having a few I noticed a box of hair dye I had gotten to touch up my hair. Bright idea! Drink enough alcohol to where you can barely put a full sentence together and then dye your hair! Well, I don't recall the details but I do remember thinking, "I don't want to mess with the roots, lets do the whole thing!" So I slather on a whole bottle of bleach blond hair color and then leave it on for a half an hour. I go wash it out, dry it and don't really look at it. Get up this morning and walk out to greet the hubby who stops dead in his tracks. "Your hair. Its....(chuckle) white!" Remembering what I had done the night before I go in and see that my hair is in fact, white. I have spent all darn day trying to get used to it. It isn't working. I decide to snap some pics to show off to the world, nothing like a little humiliation. But trust me these pics aren't even touching how overly processed my hair is. Ugh. I ask Tom, "Why did you let me do this?!?!?!" He laughs and says, "Like I have any control over ANYTHING you do!"
Getting the the courage to even take these pictures took a couple more drinks, but I did it, to make my 'friends' happy. While in the bathroom snapping the pics I was frustrated cause I look like hell! I look like a bargain basement hooker! Maybe I should go walk Hollywood BLVD!!! UGH. My kids found me and insisted that they wanted to be in some pics too. So, here we all are. First of course is me and Chloe, I look like a total ice princess but whatever. Anything to make my kiddos happy right?

Well after Chloe snapped a bunch with me, Dylan showed up. I had gotten after him over something totally boyish that he did, but trust me it was disgusting. So he was mad and crying. But he is still such a handsome little man. And then finally we have Mr. Colton who loves the camera. And I think the camera loves him back. so there, you all have the story of me and my idiotic attempt at hair coloring. You can all stop laughing now. I look CHEAP!! ;o)

Choca Mewlk and cackas!

I was in the laundry room doing laundry when I noticed our cat and dog who were wrestling had knocked over the baby gate leading into the kitchen. "Oh well, I can fix it when I am done here." Unfortunately I didn't notice my little monster had gone in there and found the chocolate milk powder and a box of crackers and dug in! This is in addition to the juice in his bottle. Yuck! It wouldn't be so bad but I had just finished scrubbing my floor. But I walked in and he said in an enthusiastic voice..."HI MOM!" I had to laugh. How can I get angry with that? So I brought out the camera and snapped some photos. Of course Colton is such a ham and had to yell "Cheese!" I swear, I am still chuckling. kids are the greatest. I am so glad I have them.

People

Today I went to the store, and then got in line to check out. It was quite busy so I knew no matter what I was going to be there awhile. I ended up behind a very fat family. Not trying to be judgemental but all 4 of them were HUGE. I glanced at their cart and all I could see were frozen-foods, meals in a box and other processed items. I thought to myself 'no wonder.' No where was there to be found fresh veggies or fruit or even basics such as flour to make things at home from scratch. I tried to justify it by thinking that maybe they have those items already or they were going somewhere else. Give them the benefit of the doubt. I decided to quit gawking and try to look somewhere else. The Mom then started up a conversation with me. She said they would probably be done with all of that within 3 days. And their cart was practically busting at the seams. She told me that she would like to eat better but it is too hard and expensive to cook from scratch when you can get a totinos pizza for 1.25. And there are coupons! I just smiled and said that I liked to cook from scratch as much as I can, it is something I love to do. I just kept thinking that she was nuts and that she was killing her kids. Yea the easy stuff may be cheaper but the benefits to spending a little more are much, MUCH better. I don't know why I am even talking about this. Probably because it has stuck with me all evening. I am by no means the picture of health at the moment, even tho I am getting there..hehe. But even in my fattest of times, I was eating a lot better than that. I ate and still do eat a lot of fresh veggies and fruit. (I LOATHE cooked vegetables.) I love to cook and make as much as I can from scratch. Lucky for the hubby! And yes, I buy the junk once in a while but for the most part I try to make sure what we eat is beneficial to us. I just had to say something, that's what blogs are for right?

Do you have songs that mean something to you? Music that reminds you of a certain time, person, place, event? I do. I have lots of them. Songs that when they come on the radio I think of whatever it is that is connected in my head to that song. Even Christmas songs have a meaning or two to me. "The Little Drummer Boy" and "Do you hear what I hear" remind me of road trips to Wyoming for Christmas because I remember hearing those songs. "Up on the Housetop" and "Silver Bells" remind me of when I was a kid at Washington Elementary. "Away in a Manger" and "Silent Night" remind me of my Church Christmas pageants. But the one that has the most affect on me is "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing." When I was a kid our Sunday School would go caroling every year to the home bound church members and those in the care center. While at the care center we were visiting Jim Stallsmith. He was very sick and just looked so painful. We sang that song to him and his roommate. In the middle of the song Jims wife, Marion, got up and a slew of nurses came running in. We were told to get out immediately. We all filed out of the room and a few minutes later a lady that was escorting our caroling group came around the corner and told us that he had died. He had died in the middle of us singing! As a kid, it doesn't matter what people say to make you feel better, it freaks you out! To this day, whenever I hear that song, I think of Jim in that bed. That image is still as clear as the day we went there. Talk about traumatizing!

BZZZ!

So, my blond moment for this week. (This will make you wonder how I managed to even make it thru high school, let alone college!) Frightening thing is that this really happened, and if I really want to make the hubby laugh all I do is bring it up! (This or I remind him of the time he was talking to me and I rolled over and right off the bed.) My TV was on the fritz and me being the super-mom had to get it working! I noticed that the cable plug was dirty. Without thinking, I ahem...licked the end of the cable. (Yes the metal part. ) It was a 'shocking' experience. All I can say is kids, don't try this at home. And a pic that I am sure most of you have seen, how pumpkin pies are really made:

Mommy Love

Is there anything better than spending fun time with your kids? I know I complain sometimes but the truth is, for me there is nothing in the world that compares to them. Today we baked chocolate chip cookies, sang songs together, played outside, browsed the aisles at Wal-Mart for gift ideas and then had fun with my camera. Such simple things that mean the world to me. I want them to remember their childhood like that. As a Mom I question my capabilities and every decision I make. I wonder sometimes if God made the right choice giving me these wonderful creatures. Sure that some of you other parents out there feel the same way. What brought on this sappy sweet post from a woman that doesn't have a lot of sensitivity in her? Just what I said before. The simple joys we experienced together. Melts even my heart, and when your child looks at you and says, "You are so much fun Mom! I love you!" Well there you go. (Still would like to duct-tape them sometimes.) I didn't intend to be in any pictures but I had told my kids that they could snap some pics, but I ended up being the main subject. Of course I am critical of how I look but even I have to admit that these turned out decent. Just wished I would have fixed myself up a bit. But what do you do right? On a sad note, my Great-Uncle Les is on deaths door it seems. He is the last one alive out of my Grandpas siblings. I don't know him that well, but it is still sad to think an entire generation of Herruds are gone. I did talk to him the Christmas of 2007 right after my Grandfather died, (two year anniversary of his death tomorrow,) he sounded so much like my Grandpa that it kind of creeped me out! Hopefully it happens easy for Les.

Ho!Ho!Ho!

Ah Christmas time is upon us and I have FINALLY got all my decos up, well those that will go up this year. I got my lights on and garland, then I had to wait for my kids to get home from school because I pinky swore, knuckle punched that I would let them put the ornaments on. They didn't do too bad. They did ask (more like demand) for some Christmas music and so I took my new Eric Dodge Christmas CD and popped it in the player. It is an awesome CD and I couldn't help but sing along. Good thing that no one was around! Here is a pic of them next to their finished product! You can't really see the ornaments, but there are a ton of them on there. I actually have a 'theme' to it. I love anything rustic. So there are a ton of moose, bear, fish(ing), cabin items. On top of that to add to the outdoorsy theme, I bought a lot of the wreath pics that were on sale really cheap and then simply attached them to my tree. So

there are pine cones, berries and such on there too. It really does look awesome in person. I normally don't put color lights but every year I catch it from hubby and kids cause I never do them anymore. So, this year I found a couple of strings of those bulb color lights and threw them on. Now everyone is happy and it does look kind neat with both the white and colors.

Then there is my favorite part of my Christmas decos, my village. I don't have a LOT of houses, but it is perfect for the top of my piano. (Yeah right in front of my wedding display photos). I just love villages because they look so old fashioned. I love things that take me back to a simpler time. There is just something about it that makes me smile.

I know that I said this last year, but I am going to try one more time, I am going to have a good Christmas. The last two years SUCKED last year we were all sick, I mean REALLY sick, and then the power went out. The year before that my uncle and my Grandpa died. So that was no fun. This year is going to be my year dang it!

Christmas lights suck

OK , yeah, I know that is a catchy title, but I will explain later. First off I want to let those of you that were asking know, what happened at the meeting we had with the specialists at Dylan's school. It was a meeting with two specialists, Dylan's teacher (Mrs. Miller) and us. We were shown some assessments done of Dylan and I was pleasantly surprised to see that he is scoring either at or above his level in everything. The key is, that he wasn't under any pressure to keep up with other students and take his time. The knowledge is all there but pulling it out of him is the hard part. He is not "disabled" or in need of special education. Whew. But the lady was surprised that I wasn't jumping up and down all excited. I don't want my kid to have special needs, but he needs something and I want to know what. Our game plan now is to give him just a little extra help to keep him on track and take some of the pressure off of him (more time, fewer problems, etc.) Everyone agrees that he will grow into himself and all will be OK. (AND YAY NO AUTISM!!!) Thanks to all of you for your emails and notes of support. I so appreciate it. I need to be reminded that I am not a failure and you keep me feeling positive. Nice to know I have some people who really care and who they are.

As far as the Christmas light thing goes, ugh, I quit putting it off and finally got started on the Decorations today. I have a fake tree but I wasn't smart enough to buy the prelit kind. Two years ago, (cause last year we had a real tree,) I asked the hubby to take the tree out to the garage cause I didn't want to take off the lights and next time I could just plug it in and not have to worry about it. But rather than taking it out the sliding glass door and through the garage door he decided to haul it through our laundry room through the narrow walk way and regular doors into the garage. Of course this knocked off half of the lights and screwed up my tree. MEN! He didn't want to walk through the snow. Well WAAAHH..sheesh. Fast Forward to this Christmas season and I have to untangle and remove all the lights and put them back on. I am meticulous about the lights on my tree, call it OCD. They have to be perfect. So finally, I was dreading this, I undid and redid my tree. (After moving the piano by myself, I am one tough chick!). Took me 2 hours and yes I managed to tangle myself up, but the lights are finally on. I will finish my decorating tomorrow.

Today I was messing around with my play list for this blog. When I was done I found that I had over 60 songs from all over the genre board. I guess I am just indecisive when it comes to music. These are songs I enjoy and/or mean something to me. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always listening to something. I admit there is quite a bit of country, I am a product of where I live I guess. Tends to be what is all over the radio. There are a lot more that I would like to put on here, but unfortunately playlist doesn't have them...yet. If you have any suggestions please shoot them my way. Favorite Song? One you think I would like? One that makes you think of me? Let me know.

Thank-you!!

I started this blog in May when Colton had his seizures to keep you all updated on his progress. I have kept it going because it is an easy way to let you all know what is going on in my life and my thoughts about various subjects. My counter is now above 3300 hits! That is awesome. It may not seem like much to some, but to a frumpy old unremarkable housewife in Cedar City, Utah like myself it says that there are enough people interested for me to keep it going. I appreciate all of the feedback and discussions that you have given. I get the bulk of my feedback in the form of emails and p.m.. Also reactions are posted on my facebook wall. I love all feedback both from those who agree with me and disagree. Everyone has been respectful. Just so you all know, you do not have to be a registered user to post a comment here. Please feel free to post comments on here to whatever you have an opinion on. You can even be anonymous if you like. Tho, be careful with that, I will delete your post if I feel like you are being outright rude or just plain nasty. I am the first to defend freedom of speech, but even I have limits. I would love to see and be involved with discussions from all sides.

I got a call from the special ed director at Dylan's school. The Autism specialist spent time with Dylan today. The good news is that there is no indication of any kind of Autism. Whew!! He said that Dylan is quite intelligent for his age. Seems, tho, that his problem is his emotional maturity. He barely made the cutoff for school when he was in kindergarten, so he is one of the youngest in his class. They indicated that his maturity level is one grade lower than the grade he is actually in. They all say that he is very smart but gets frustrated. I (and maybe Tom) will be meeting with the school tomorrow to see what we can do. They suggested that when it comes time for the end of level testing, that they will take him to another classroom with only a couple of kids in it and let him take his tests without the pressure of a time limit. He can take as long as he needs. He tends to get upset because he overanalyzes his own work and sees that the other students are finishing a lot quicker than he is. Which makes it worse. We will talk about motivations and what we need to do. I will keep you updated on that.

And to end, I have gotten some website and video references from an old college friend of mine. HeyDave! (sorry but whenever I think of you that is the first thought that comes to mind.) We were discussing them via my facebook wall and email. These media items discuss liberty and where this country is going. I am sorting thru the piles of information that it all has and hopefully I can give my thoughts on them in the next couple of days. I love thought provoking anything, and what he has sent me is definitely that. Thanks Dave!

Silver Minivans

Yea, two blogs in one day. Just thought I would share with you my blond moment for the week. Still it doesn't top the Me vs Cow incident on Thanksgivings blog, but you should at least get a smile out of this one. I went to the grocery store and did what I needed to do. The bag kid asked if he could help me and I said, "I will be fine, unless you really really want to." He said he would like to get outside for a minute and helped me out. We walk up to the van and I hit the unlock button on my key chain. Nothing. I hit it again. Nothing again. I look inside and it looks like mine. So I insert my key in the lock. The alarm goes off. I hit the off button on my key chain and it doesn't work. The kid that is helping me says, "Ma'am" (DAMMIT I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE CALLED THAT YET!!!) and I look at him as he is pointing at the next aisle over. There, sits another minivan honking. Its mine. (The off button to my alarm is also my panic button) I had managed to try to break in to someones car. By now my helper is laughing uncontrollably, which makes me kind of chuckle too. So we scurry over to mine hoping that no one really notices and load up and I get the hell out of there. The thing that gets me about this? I manage to do this same thing at least every three months. Who knew there were so many silver Dodge Grand Caravans in Cedar City?

Pickle

Dylan (Pickle) is my 8 year old son. He is one of the sweetest creatures God put on this earth. He is very sensitive, full of imagination, and gives the best hugs in the world. He just wants everyone to be happy. He is struggling in school. It has been this way since Kindergarten. Luckily his school has a lot of resources and people who are trying so hard to figure out how to make his time there better. We (the school and I and Tom) have been trying everything we can think of to help him. He has been tested over and over and over again for a lot of things. One thing they have noticed is that when he can focus, he is at or above his level. Which makes me feel better. Yet he can NOT focus on his work. His teacher practically has to stand behind him and tell him to keep working. Really, she shouldn't have to do that. He goes to reading centers and they all say that when he is one on one with the tutor, he does quite well. If someone else comes into the picture he gets frustrated, just breaks down and gets so upset to the point he sometimes cries. We were hoping that he would grow into himself and get to a place he is comfortable with in his learning and then go from there. It hasn't happened. Now he is in the third grade and we just can't wait any longer.

They are going to test him for high functioning autism. I got that call yesterday. That lady drives me nuts. She is nice and all, but when she talks to me it is like she is talking to a complete imbecile. She kept saying that she was trying to explain things in a way that I might understand. Despite the fact that I kept telling her that I fully understood she kept talking to me like I had the IQ of an eggplant. I gave permission to test, hung up the phone and just started crying. I feel like I should be able to help him, and I am a huge failure as a Mom. It wasn't so much that they are testing him for this it is that they are running MORE tests. I want to help him enjoy school so much and the further we go the more he grows distant from the love of learning that I had hoped my kids would have. And for crying out loud, this is the kind of thing I studied in school! But then if specialists can't pinpoint it, I guess I shouldn't be expected to either.

It is hard for me to get him to do his homework, I know, all kids are that way. But when I sit with him to help him I have to struggle to keep from growing impatient. I can't count how many times I have said, "Dylan, focus" "Dylan keep working" "Dylan sit still" "Dylan come on you are almost done". I have tried everything I can think of to motivate him. We have even gone as far as shutting off our satellite service, so there isn't so much of a distraction for him. That does seem to help.

I am grateful that he does have it in him. All of the specialists have said, "I can tell you, you have one VERY smart little boy." I know I do. I have heard him, when he isn't under pressure, and watched him when he thinks no one is around. I just hope this next test will be his last.

Guns & Freedom

I was just reading this article sent to me. It is pretty much anti-gun. I figure this is a good topic for discussion. I don't really want to castigate this guy. Among our right to keep and bear arms is that thing called freedom of speech and the press. He is certainly entitled to his opinion. But reading that makes me realize how stupid some people are. I am not a gun fanatic. My husband and his father definitely are. They teach concealed carry classes, hunter safety classes are members of two practical shooting clubs and usually at least once a week they are out at the range or in the 'pits' shooting. I support my husband in this because I have realized the importance of responsible gun ownership and keeping yourself armed and ready.

What the author of the above article doesn't understand is that true gun enthusiasts encourage responsibility, discipline and training when it comes to your firearms. Tom is emphatic about people knowing their gun inside out before carrying. He is also teaching our children from a young age the art of handling a gun. They are learning that they aren't a toy, they are to be respected and how to use them. A couple of other moms can't believe that I 'allow' this. I tell them that they are his kids too, and if they know the responsibility of the gun from an early age, they are less likely to have an accident.

As far as gun control in this country, "my idea of gun control is using both hands" I love that quote. I don't think they anti-gun folk understand that you are in big trouble if you do try to take them away. Law abiding citizens may give them up but criminals don't care about the law anyway so why would they give them up? Then the rest of us are at the mercy of thugs and we can't protect ourselves and our families because a karate chop isn't going to stop a bullet. Some say, "Just call the police." Yea, OK, let me see, an intruder breaks into our home, is threatening us with a weapon, doing God only knows what, and we can just call the police? Not to mention how long will it take to get to wherever you are? I live 10 miles out of town! No thanks, I will call the police to come remove his bullet riddled body from my home. I find great comfort in knowing that Tom and I can protect our family if need be. We aren't chomping at the bit to shoot somebody. That is a last resort for us, but, just try to harm us, you will be sorry.

Nationally, do you understand what it would mean for us as a nation? We would be subject to a tyrannical, socialist government. I believe that knowing that the citizenry of this country are armed, does keep them somewhat at bay. Give them up and you can kiss the rest of your freedoms good-bye. I am dead serious about this. If you value your freedom at all, you will hold on to your weapons.

The article makes references to the shooting at Virginia Tech. He actually said, "What is not a joke is the absurd contention of the NRA gunslingers that if the Virginia Tech students had been armed there would have been far fewer victims." That, my friend, is a bunch of BS. Had even a couple of the students there, been armed, they could have taken out the shooter long before it got to the massive casualty level that it did.

I said this before in another post and I will say it again. We, (Tom and I,) will NEVER give up our guns. We will become outlaws if we have to. "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands." Thank you Charlton Heston!

Christmas in the Country.

Wow today it seemed like a lot going on. I got up to my bazaar just in time for the big rush of people that came in from the parade down town and Santa showing up. I had to laugh because I had people from yesterday come back and get more. I was glad I had made more of my sold-outs! Guess, what? They sold out again...hehe. One lady came back three times over the course of the day wondering what I had used to make a certain card cause she was trying to copy them. That is cool. Then she said, "I probably shouldn't have said that!" I told her that I was flattered that she liked my cards enough to want to copy them. I sold a bunch of items and looked up to see Tami and Tia, with their Mom and Tia's kids. For those that don't know, Tami and Tia are some of my best friends and I love them like sisters so it was awesome to have them come up. They came cause they wanted to go to a real craft show, not full of commercial items. There were a few booths that sold those things but about 90% of the booths there are home crafters like myself. We all hung out for awhile and they had to leave. Shortly after, Tom showed up with Chloe. Chloe wanted to come up with me and help me so I told Tom that he could bring her up after lunchtime. He fell in love with a knife that the lady at the booth next to me had. It had a real rattlesnake head on it, made by an old Navajo man. Some of you may have gotten a pic text from me showing it. Even I thought it was really cool. But not cool enough to spend 65 dollars on. If you want me to send you a pic on your cell give me your number and I will.

Chloe was so cute at the booth. I don't know why but it seems like I attracted all of the husbands to hang out at mine. They all told the same story, "My wife made me come here, and if I stay here long enough, maybe I won't have to shell out all my money." I would laugh and say, "Sucking the manhood right after you huh?" And they would say, "YES!". Chloe got fed up with this and finally said to one guy, "Are you going to buy my mommies beautiful cards or not?" He couldn't resist my daughters charm and proceeded to purchase some items.

Eric Dodge was there. He is a local country singer with a few Cd's out. He was trying to sell his Christmas music when I told his buddy that I would rather have a regular music CD. While I enjoy some Christmas music, too much and I will start shooting at people from my roof. Eric then came over to my booth and handed me two Cd's. His latest album and his Christmas one. Two very good Cd's for ten bucks! SWEET! Here is a shameless plug. If you haven't heard him, you should. He truly is talented. You can check out his music at www.ericdodge.com . I love to support local music, and he is one I definitely have no problem supporting. And who knows, maybe he will become hugely famous one day and I can say, "I knew him when..."

Manning the booth, talking to forlorn husbands and helping people get their creative juices going was a lot of fun for me. I really enjoyed it. Near the end of the day came the fun part. A lot of us start trading with each other. At the end of my trading I managed to acquire a Minnesota Vikings Kleenex box, a 20 oz vanilla candle, 7 wax blocks for my Scentsy warmer, 4 Tupperware kid cups w/lids, 2 pillows, a bracelet for Chloe, a hair bow for Chloe and some bread. Oh and an invitation to the bar...took a rain check on that one. How cool is that? I mentally added up what I had traded to get these things and it came to about ten dollars in supplies to make what I did. So I feel very accomplished hehe.

There was one moment of uncomfortable. Last year about this time a dog ran into the front fender of my minivan. I had always suspected that I new whose dog it was, but Tom insisted that it wasn't theirs. Well I am friends with the lady of that house and she came by and said hi. I don't know why, it was like I was possessed and I couldn't stop myself from saying, "I think I killed your dog last year!" I told her what had happened and she confirmed that yes it was their dog. I apologized all over the place and told her that we did go back to make sure that it was dead and not suffering. She was so understanding and said, "These things happen, and to tell you the truth I am glad to know that at least you didn't just leave him there suffering, that you made sure he was dead, it wasn't your fault he shouldn't have been out!" And now, I feel so relieved.

All in all, it was a fun day. Although it was snowing hard on the way home. I was OK but the 6 million cars from California and Nevada sure weren't. They hog the road, drive like turtles and seem to slam on their brakes. I understand being cautious and all but that is so stinkin' annoying! They are going to cause more accidents that way.

So there, I completed my once a day for a week blog. I will continue to post but I can't promise daily anymore. Hopefully frequently tho.

Black Friday is complete madness

Today I started the craft show in Parowan. I had a good time and sold a bunch while seeing some friends I haven't seen in a while. My only complaint is that it was COLD! Tom had to drive up because I forgot something I needed. His buddy was there and the two of them started in on the, "have to come rescue the wife cause she didn't check to make sure everything is there," bit. His wife is a friend of mine and a crafter too and for the moment we took it. Just wait, we will get back at em. Then they sat at my booth and talked guns. I finally kicked them out cause it was becoming a gathering for guys to discuss their weapons. As interesting as it was, it didn't mesh well with the ideals of Stampin' Up! and paper crafts.

There was a lady that I am familiar with selling antiques and refurbished old western style items in the booth next to mine. I don't know where it came from but she kept coming up to me and talking about Obama. I just let her talk for most of the day. But it was getting annoying. She is overall a nice woman, but I finally had to say something when she started in about Obama being a Muslim and wanting to swear on the Koran. I knew what she was getting at but said, "So?" She stared at me with astonishment. She said, "What do you mean 'so?'" I said, "Last time I checked freedom of Religion was still in the Constitution." "So you are OK with him being a Muslim?" I said, "First of all, he attends a Christian Church, Second, I could care less if he really IS a Muslim. I have taken an Islamic Studies class and all you ever hear about are the radicals. Most Muslims are not that way." That shut her up. FINALLY! She did keep talking to me, but mostly about generic things such as what we have been up to over the year, how we spent the Holidays, etc. Other than that, it was a fun day. Problem is that there is a candle booth across from mine. I have to keep reminding myself I am there to make money, not spend it!

Holy Flippin Cow!!!

So I decided to take a break and go for a walk. I need to work off them turkey calories and get some fresh air. I took Tova up by a field and let him just take me wherever. He was guiding me along a fence just a few feet off the road. I got a text from someone and I had stopped to reply. I had just finished my text when right into my ear I hear a "MOO!" So close I could feel its breath! I think I leaped about 7 and a half feet in the air, not sure didn't measure, and yelled a few choice statements, "Holy #$%! WHAT THE #$)(*????" In my scramble to escape this horrid monster trying to get me, I managed to trip over the leash and land square on my butt. It is dark out here in the country with no street lights, but the moon was out and I had landed facing this stupid animal. Hello Black Angus! I sat there staring at him thinking, "You are about to become hamburger!" When I hear footsteps running behind me. I glance back to find two guys running up asking if I am OK. They had been out on the porch smoking and heard my angry, vulgar tirade. Turns out I somewhat knew one of them, that only makes it worse! I grumbled that yea I was OK, and they asked me what happened. I hesitantly told them. Looked up at them and saw that biting of the lip that you do when you are trying so hard not to break out in hysterical laughter. They help me up and I finally said, "Oh for crying out loud just laugh already!" And they obliged. I just said, "Nice seeing you again Josh, I am going home!" Through their laughter they asked me if I wanted a ride home. Oh what sweet gentlemen. But I said "NO THANKS!" I then came straight home. I told my ever loving husband what had happened. To which, he said, "Oh man and I missed it! Think you could do it again?" Ass hole. Now he is in the other room laughing still, telling my kids, "Go up to Mom, and say MOO! in her ear..." So much love.

So how was your Thanksgiving? Other than my encounter with the over grown pot roast, mine was just as I like it. Uneventful. We went to my in-laws and had dinner with a lot of our nieces and nephews, (and great-nieces and great-nephews, yea I am a great-aunt already to a bunch of kids.) I love the idea behind Thanksgiving. Get together with people you love and have a good meal. Watch some football and drink some beer. It isn't too commercial. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Christmas, especially now that I am a Mom and the magic your kids bring with it is wonderful. But I have to say Thanksgiving is my favorite. Even tho I seem to have bad luck around this holiday. Loved ones dying and me managing to cut my finger tip off. Tomorrow I have my craft show, and I am looking forward to it. If you are in the area of Parowan, come stop by and say hi! Here is my newest creation.

And to end this Thanksgiving day post, I will say thanks to God for all of the wonderful people out there who have touched my life. I am truly blessed to have such a great family and wonderful friends, LOVE YOU ALL! Now excuse me while I go ice my hiney.....

College Daze

Ever since I took that glance at my transcript from college, I have been thinking A LOT about my college career. It seems so long ago, but then again, it doesn't. College came easy for me. It was a lot of fun too. Well the activities outside of the classroom were fun. Too much fun. I can't believe some of the things I did....corn silk joints anyone? :) Classes were mind numbing and seemed to take forever to complete. I have no desire to go back. I can't count how many times I have been asked if I am going to go back to get my masters degree. I always follow it up with an emphatic NO!!!! This is the truth, I have nightmares about college. The idea of going back makes me somewhat ill. I have dreams where I am either failing, missing class, missing assignments or whatever and wake up in a panic wondering where I put that 20 page term paper on Karl Marx. Then I glance at that degree on my piano, remember and an overwhelming feeling of relief comes over me. Until these dreams go away, I have no desire to re-enter the world of University student life. I am content that I have a BS (BS, that always makes me laugh.) I had the opportunity to use that degree when I recently applied for a job. I wondered if it would ever have leverage for a position and I learned quickly that it did. It was for a part time position at my kids' school in the literacy center. I didn't get the job, but that is OK, I was just prideful that They had interviewed 6 people out of over 200 applicants. I talked to the principal while waiting for school to get out. I didn't bring it up but he did. He said that the final decision was between me and the lady who got the job. I thought that was pretty cool. Turns out the final decision was made because her degree was in education. I felt good that I had unknowingly been quite a contender for it.

I remember a conversation with my statistics professor once. He told me that I play the "dumb blond" act well. At first I was offended. He realized what I was thinking and quickly said, "no! no! I mean, you act like you are this ditzy blond who couldn't make it. I thought you wouldn't be able to handle this class, but you are managing to grasp it and consistently coming in the top of the curve! You play the dumb blond, but you definitely aren't!" OK, I guess that is better. Yea the class was quite difficult, for some, but stress and competitive environments always have driven me. But try as I may, I couldn't beat that damn brainiac that I kept coming in second to! At the end of this conversation he proceeded to ask me if I wanted to meet him in Mesquite so he could apply the statistics I am learning to craps. I politely declined and got the hell out of there.

I am very glad that I finished my bachelors. It was my goal. I could care less what my degree was in, as long as I got one. It is quite cool to tell people that I have a BS *snort!* Some people are surprised by that. "You have a degree? Really?" As their eyes get wide. Now my children can't seem to understand the point of college. Dylan thinks that I should be designing video games. "Mom, you went to that grown-up school, where they teach people that, so why can't you make a game for the PlayStation? It shouldn't take that long!" I just tell him that if he works hard, he can go to college and make the video games himself. He seems happy with that.

I also think about how hard I worked to get thru school. I worked two jobs during the summer and every weekend to pay for it. Yea my folks helped me, but only when I had paid everything I could. My summers were get up and go to work at 6 am making pies. I would work there til about two in the afternoon, go home shower and go to work at Rite-Aid at three until 9:30. Go home, and of course as a young gal, I wanted to have fun, so out with my friends doing God only knows what until the wee hours of the morning, home for 3-4 hours of sleep and then start over again. I don't' think I could do that now. I just remember waking up for my first job thinking....what the hell was I thinking, I am staying in tonight, I don't care who comes over! But then, I was out at the sand dunes, at a party or whatever it is I used to do. Some things I don't think I will ever tell hehe!

K so there is my blog for today. I am trying to write at least once a day for a week so that I can get into a habit of consistently writing here. Now I am off to make some pies for turkey day tomorrow. I know shocking ain't it that I am making pies? And some more projects. Here are two more that I make, they are my most popular sellers.

Chloeism for today...

Chloe starts yelling and I ask her what is wrong cause she is holding her foot. She proceeds to angrily yell....."THE PIANO RAN INTO MY FOOT!!!"

Politics

I was looking at my University transcript and have realized that I was only a few credits short of completing a minor in Political Science. Basically cause I was completely fascinated with a Poly Sci professor. I took almost all of his classes. Michael Stathis. He is one of the most brilliant professors I ever met. Bet you didn't know I had such a training in the political world did you? HEHE. I figure for once I am going to lay it all out there for everyone. The tender issue of politics. I want to get a few of my views on the world out there. I hope that you will all tell me what you agree with and what you don't. Please remember tho, this is MY blog. I don't mind heated discussion and debate but lets remember a little thing called respect. I will respect you, please do the same.

Lets start with Mr. Barrack Hussein Obama. (yes I actually wrote his middle name, *looks for the black helicopters*). I will say it now, I did NOT vote for him. Before anybody gets into an uproar about that, let me explain. I don't put a lot of stock in the Presidential election. I am more concerned with who we send to Congress, Senate and State/local office. Being that I am in Utah, it is a given that the electoral vote will go to the Republicans. So, when I go to the voting booth, I vote for who I believe is going to lose. Simply so I can bitch about it. I knew Obama would win, so I voted for McCain. That is all there is to it. If I thought McCain would have won, I would have voted for Obama. That being said, I was really thrilled that I saw a black man (albeit half black) elected in my lifetime. Never in a million years did I think it would happen. And for the second time in my life I got to see a woman run for Vice President. I watched Obama's inauguration and was thrilled that I got to see it. It was a major mile-stone historical moment for our country. It was awesome. Now, more than a year after the election, I am still waiting to be inspired by him. I feel that he is riding the coattails of that historical election rather than actually doing something. I am supportive of him, and wish him all the best but he won a Nobel Peace Prize? For what? Really for me it seems like a big mess. I am hopeful that he can take the bull by the horns and make a real difference....a good one. But, I am still waiting.

I have taken numerous "what political party best suits you" quizzes. I can say that I am definitely a middle of the road person. I can agree with both sides of the aisle. They keep coming up "libertarian" and "constitution." Not that I really want to be boxed in as a conservative or a liberal, I like to think for myself and take each issue individually. So I have decided to take a few issues and show you how it is that I can be so unaffiliated, as my voter registration card says.....

Abortion - I am a right to lifer. With the exception of medical issues and rape, there is no excuse to kill an unborn child. You make your choice when you lay down and have sex, you run the risk of getting pregnant. Deal with it. Until it can be 100% proven that the embryo/fetus is unable to feel anything, and that it isn't a person with a soul already, I will not change my mind.

Gun Control - We have the right to keep and bear arms. As they say, only law abiding citizens will give up their weapons. You think the thugs and criminals of the world will give them up? NOT! If government takes away our guns, we are susceptible to a tyrannical government who will not give a damn about our rights. Furthermore, I know for Tom and I, as Charlton Heston said you will get my gun when you pry them from my "cold dead hands."

Gay Marriage - I could care less if gays want to marry or not. We are supposed to be a free nation so why is it that two people of the same sex can't marry? What consenting adults do is none of my business, or the governments. Yes I am a Christian, and my beliefs say that homosexual behavior isn't right. But those are MY beliefs, and what right do I have to force that on someone else? It isn't hurting me, and frankly I don't believe that it is a one way ticket to Hell. God loves us ALL, and Jesus has saved us ALL. We all have our faults.

Death Penalty - I am for the most part against it. I do think it has its place in society but as a rare option. Too many times there are too many questions about the guilt or innocence of a person. We are too quick to be out for blood. There are in fact a few times where there is no doubt about the evil nature of a person. Timothy McVeigh comes to mind. People like him are who the death penalty is perfect for. Yet I think, life in prison would be even more harsh than being put to sleep. I would rather die than spend the next 50 years in a 10x10 concrete room with other violent human beings having to deal with the fear and brutality of the prison population. But that is just me.

So there are a few of my ideas, I am sure there are going to be plenty more. If you haven't done so and are at all interested in the history of our nation, I would invite you to watch the "John Adams" series that HBO put out. It is a raw look into what the Founding Fathers went thru and dealt with in the creation of a new nation from the view point of Adams.

I do want to say that I am proud of my country and I love our military both Veterans and current Active Duty. I come from a long line of military men and I am proud of all of them. And as the saying goes "If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!"

Tattoo you

I have always wanted a tattoo. Really. My only thing is that I have a psycho fear of needles. The only time I ever welcomed a shot was epidurals. I don't know why, it isn't the pain involved, it is just the idea of a needle injecting in me ewww. Now I have the opportunity to get a really nice looking one. And I can't believe I actually am chomping at the bit to do it. My cousin, Brei, has a tattoo that is flesh town and it is a fancy letter "f" standing for faith, family, friends an fidelity. I have seen it and it is nice. Our cousin, Abbie has decided that she would like to get the same one. Abbies Mother, Lori, suggested that it might be cool if the girl Herrud cousins all had the same one. We will be going up to Idaho for Brei's wedding and could have it done by the same artist in January. I have pretty much decided that I would like to do it. My problem is.....funding. We aren't rich, we aren't poor. We are an average middle class family trying to get by in the world. Right after the holidays with 4 kids, is kinda hard to come by extra money. We shall see.

If you haven't noticed, I have added a few more card designs. Thank you for the emails and such telling me which ones you like and want to copy. I am flattered! I am looking forward to the show. It is always fun. This craft fair is the only one I do since I a merely a hobby demonstrator.

And to end on a funny note, Dylan recently saw Chloe in the "nude" after gagging cause he saw a girl naked, he looked at Tom and said, "Dad, her pee is inside out." Gotta love eight year olds!

wth?!?!?

I am sitting here watching the Broncos get their asses handed to them. Again. Doesn't really matter cause I am a true fan. It is still very painful to watch them go from a 6-0 winning streak to now losing 4 games in a row. I catch so much hell from people, but that is ok, I can take it. My second team is the Vikings who are doing much better. If I need to pin my hopes on a superbowl game, they are apparently my only chance. I am just waiting for the onslaught of texts, emails and posts that are surely coming my way giving me a ton of grief. Some people are surprised that I like the Vikings. It is nostalgic for me. My Grandfather was from Minnesota and I remember him telling me that he liked them. He even showed me a Vikings jacket. I have always in secret cheered for them, I have decided that it was dumb to hide it and while Broncos will ALWAYS be my number one, I have no shame showing my purple side. Back to the Broncos, I have grown up in a family of fanatics. Anyone that knows me and my family will not be surprised by this. We even buried my Uncle Jeff in a Broncos jersey. (and a Broncos Bad Call Brick). I had a John Elway poster on my wall and we have enough Bronco stuff to open a souvenier shop. I still love them, and I want to get my hands on a Eddie Royal jersey, just haven't been able to buy one....yet.

Yesterday was the two year "death"iversary of Jeff. I am not sad like I was. I still miss him a ton, but my memories bring a smile to my face. He was a hard headed ornery guy, with a heart of gold. We had a great relationship especially after I got married and had a family. I just wish he would pull some strings up there and do something about these Broncos!!!!!

And to end this post, I am going to start showing off some of my card work. I have been busy making projects, mostly cards for a craft show in parowan. I sell a lot, and I do enjoy it. So here are a few of my projects. If you would like to know what I used to make something, let me know and I will give you the "recipe" as we call it.

HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY!

I now weigh less than I did before I got prego with Chloe....yahoo! (This is to offset that overly depressing earlier post!)

Confusion

It is fall, and I both love and hate this time of year. I love the changing colors, the crispness in the air and the 'smell' that comes with it. I hate the funk I seem to get in. I don't know why, but this time of year I get so sad and depressed. I have all but decided that it is time for me to go see a shrink. I keep thinking about my Grandma Gerry, and how she must have felt this way a lot. She was a hard woman to love sometimes, and I now understand why she was so bitter. This sucks. Panic/anxiety attacks are quite awful. Every morning I wake up with dread and no desire to do anything. I force myself out of bed, and that can take a half an hour! Yet as my day goes on, I get better. By the time late afternoon/evening rolls around I am back to that same girl that laughs a lot and lovin' life. I have meds that work, however I do not want to be that lady that is over medicated and out of touch with reality cause she just can't deal with life. UGH.

If you are reading this, I don't want a pity party. I really would rather you all just told me to 'get over it' or say something to make me laugh. I hate it when people feel sorry for me. So why am I writing this out there for all of the world to read? Because I want to get it out there, I know that writing about it is good for me.

I am busy preparing for an upcoming craft show in Parowan. It is a small one but a good one. If you are in the Parowan area the weekend after Thanksgiving, come by and say hi! I am making mostly cards. I had a lady call me from Las Vegas the other day wanting to make sure I was going to be there cause she loved my work. That was a great feeling. She also wanted to know where the location of my booth would be, to make sure she would find me. I was quite proud. There are a few people that come back to me every year but to have someone actually call and say she was coming just to buy my cards is sweet! I am surprised that I sell a LOT of them to young men. They want cards to impress wives, girlfriends and moms. That always makes me laugh. I also represent Stampin' Up! so people will occasionally order product from me. I make a little extra money and get out into the public for a couple of days. My fall therapy...;).

A funny note, I recently asked the question on my facebook page, what four words would you say to me if we woke up in jail together? I got over 25 responses! It is hilarious what people wrote. If you have a facebook page you ought to try it. I got a HUGE laugh out of it.

whew!!!

I had what I hope is my last visit with Dr. Filloux. He is a nice guy and all but I just hope that there is never a reason to go back. I got a letter a few weeks ago telling me to bring him down to the clinic. At first I didn't think much of it, but as my mind started to wander. The What-ifs began to emerge. My Mom came with me and I took the other two kids to my fathers work to hang out. The doctor looked over his notes and pulled up an mri image of Coltons brain. He showed me the spot on his brain that the radiologist had attributed to an in-utero brain injury. He then told me that the radiologist was incorrect and that he was just saying that to cover his bases. What it turned out be was there is a blood vessel going thru the brain at that point and it was simply a little extra fluid surrounding it. It is something that he said happens in about half of all kids. WHEW!!! The only thing that sucks is that for the last three months I have been trying to figure out how in the world I had harmed my baby. More than a few doctors asked me if I had been hit, fell down or in an accident. For the life of me I couldn't figure it out. I am just glad to know that it is not my fault! The only thing that was of concern to him was that I have a family history of epilepsy. But he isn't convinced that is what it was. Colton is now off of phenobarbital and we will just watch him. If he doesn't have another seizure in the next 6 months, the Dr. says he will write it off as a fluke. So please please please everyone cross your fingers and say a few prayers if you have some laying around. :)
The kids are well settled in school and are doing good. Chloe is up at the butt crack of dawn every morning and dressed before most anyone is even thinking about hitting the snooze button. Dylan seems to enjoy his class and has been making some awesome friends.
I have been finding a lot of old friends on facebook. I have been shocked the past couple of months at who I am able to reconnect with. (you all know who you are!) It is so much fun to see where everyones lives have led them. Every few days I get a friend request from someone I haven't seen in years. I love it!
Oh and I am now down 23 pounds!! YAY ME!! I am 1/3 of the way to my goal. I am feeling great. I am fitting into clothes that I haven't been able to comfortably wear since before Colton. Newer clothes are now getting too big, awwww poor me.